Lady Bugs, Creativity, Newness, Finding My Place!

Hello there Everyone,
Wow what a time since I’ve been back! The first 3-4 weeks I was in a fog, had experiences of disconnectedness and just trying to jump start myself to work but just couldn’t get my brain wrapped around it. Well it’s now been 6 weeks! Life is great! Really great!

I feel happier then I ever have in LA I think! The city is still strange and draws up a bit of anger on the road on how people treat others. But honestly it’s not as bad as I remember, or change your attitude and change your circumstances!
All I know is I am in love with working. Everyday I do a massage or work with healing on any level or do a haircut I love it! I am loving supporting people on what they want, need and to heal, to go further, expand further and to let go of the stuff in their lives and to live it more in the light! I feel on cloud nine at times. My work is great, my massages are just incredible and now I’m starting up teaching again. I had to, not only because my clients kept asking for it, but I am craving to share with the world what I have realized within myself of what is important, not only to me, but to every person out there and we don’t know how to always verbalize it or teach or to do or be it. So this is where a class of exploration comes in.

The first class I am offering is A Night of Blissful Connection. I have really gotten how important it is to have connection with people, touch, share our souls with one another, feel anothers energy with no intention, no goal, just to be with another and feel. This week especially I have felt that more than anything, as much as I have spent time with my friends, have gotten touch, laughter, sharing from the soul, the greatest dances I’ve had in ages, but something, some need to share what is on the inside and finally getting to do that with a dear friend and letting it all out, and how beautiful it was, tears, laughter, craziness, bliss and passion all boiled out.

And now, after 3 hours of dancing I feel clear, I feel unleashed and back to me, yet really grounded. I didn’t know how many people I had to hang out with in my life, I hadn’t a clue and I’m loving the connection, the sense that all these gorgeous souls are out there, feeling the energy between us, friendship, passion, lust, creativity, pain, all of it, just letting it all be there, no doing, just being with it.

It's so a part of the west to do something with this emotion or that feeling, but to only just feel it, let it be there fully and see what it wants, it’s powerful, just to accept it.

So my second set of classes are Women & Our Bodies a 5 and 10 week course-this is going to be powerful! It is about women loving themselves, on the inside and out, within bliss, pleasure and even the pain. To connect deeper in their sex, body and heart and share how they feel about all of these areas. And ending with the last 5 weeks focused on sexual healing. I’m thrilled to be teaching about this, going into nutrition, our time of the month, how we can help the earth at that time of the month, eat better for a healthy life and to just accept and love our bodies and allow the pain to release in love.

So my life has been full, very full, full of love, abundance of friends, a deeper connection like never before with everyone that crosses my path. The openness I feel is just so powerful, I am loving it. I respond so openly to people, I’ve been so guarded while traveling for so long, I’m back, all walls have come down and my heart is open to most all around me. So wonderful! I see friends at least 3-5 times a week and not all the same ones, how lovingly balanced that feels it’s great.

On top of getting to spend time with some of my friends kids. Ok folks, this is the best. I just love these little humans. They are so AMAZING! I love them. They are such great teachers and I love that they love me just as much as I love them and man oh man, do they have boundaries. Being raised in a city where their parents are asking them, is it ok if this person touches you, they’ll say, how delightful is that! It’s like when my age was growing up, of course it is ok to touch them, they are a kid, they have no wants or needs, desires of preferences, but we do at every age. What brilliance! So I’m in love with these little ones!

I went to the beach the other day, not sure if this happens every where but we get tons of lady bugs at times and they come to the ocean in droves. So I’m walking on the beach to just be in the gorgeous sunlight, be in nature and clear my mind. And low and behold there they are, every where. The ocean was killing drowning them. The next thing I know I picked one up from squirming on his/her back not able to turn over, then another and another. Next thing I know I couldn’t really pick any more up until they dried off and flew off.

I must have had over 20 all over me or maybe 30, they would crawl up to my shoulder for the breeze, lift one wing at a time for it to dry and it’s rear up in the air to dry. It was so cool to watch them care for themselves, dry off with the air flow. And it’s like they stayed with me forever as if they were thanking me for saving them by staying with me knowing I was safe and keeping me beautiful company. I laid in the sand, very carefully not to squash any of them and that is when they went really crazy going up and crawling all over my neck, oh that tickled but it felt great too, some when to the nape of my hair, some into my hat, a few onto my chin.

Not sure why they wanted close to my face and my head, maybe it’s safer then the ground, not sure. But they just cuddled in and stayed there. I finally got up and headed to go home. I told them I had to go and that if they wanted to stay here they had to fly off. But about 10 or 15 of them stayed with me all the way home in the car ride home, to my home where I took off my shirt and hat and had to lay them outside so they weren’t trapped in my house without a place to eat or fly too. So hopefully they stay in my front yard and nest there. But it doesn’t matter, it felt good to save all those beautiful and delightful lives.

It reminded me in high school when I was running through a field with a boy I was dating at the time, well he was chasing me, and I finally threw myself to the ground and next thing I knew I looked down and I must have fallen in a nest of Lady Bugs as they were all over me, hundreds of them. Gosh I hope even this day and then that I didn’t kill any of them. But man oh man, I bonded with them from that point on. Several of them stayed with me for hours all the way home, which was still another few hours away before leaving and an hour drive home. I was grateful and felt blessed by them.

I did 2 new things this past week, I took my first improv acting class as well as an acting class! Oh my gosh! They were so much fun! I found where I fit finally! I felt so good, so alive, I could be my goofy self, my crazy self, my outward me and be my shy self also, all in 3 hours time. The teachers loved me, which made me feel so incredible. It was so validating to me, like I’m in the right place. It allowed me to really use my listening skills and being present with a being before me and complete with that person as we worked on the Meisner Technique-which I can only explain like this: close your eyes, clear your mind, open your eyes to see your partner and the first word that is spoken between you two the other repeats, you say it so many different ways, feel your partner, then another word comes and then one of you say it, it repeats and you honestly respond to the word, you play with it, feel it, be with your partner and flow with it. It’s so fun, powerful, playful and keeps you very present.

Watching this was just as powerful as doing it, I’d sweat watching two people go for it, it was amazing. I could feel when one was aware people were watching and it was actually distracting as the audience, it tests you both as participant and watcher. I was told to take a class in this technique years ago and here I am doing it now. Powerful, that’s all I can say, and the teachers are just brilliant, so forgiving, fun and love what they are doing. Oh, Meisner really believed in “act and speak before thinking”. Well that is how I got to class one night as I just didn’t think, I just got up and went and I was so happy I did. It took my mind off of being tired and low energy and it brought my energy up! I’ll be going back for sure!

My next step is to get everything put together for batiking in the garage, it’s been baby steps so far for that and to get everything set up for sewing too. But the great thing is I just got the most fabulous new roommate, she is 22 years old, fun, down to earth, full of life, a massage therapist, loves to be creative, loves to hoop as well, draw, paint and dance. We are going to have a blast together, I just know it. It’s so nice to have female energy in my home again and share it with her. It’s been lovely to come home to her talking with friends in the living room or watching a movie and she lives so well with people, she’s a blessing. I knew the Universe would bring me the perfect roommate when I asked.

I asked the Universe one morning while walking on the beach, “please bring me the perfect roommate, please let make the right choice either out of the people I’ve met or bring me a new one. But please, two things, make it obvious, really obvious and make it by tomorrow night” I was so tired of interviewing people at that point. She called that night, she had called two weeks before saying she wanted to work at home. I just couldn’t see that working with me doing massage at home too. So we decided it wouldn’t work. She called and said she changed her mind, I was not so sure if that was good since she wanted it, but she assured me she was fine with it.

She came over and we talked for 3.5 hours. It was so easy between us that we forgot we were interviewing each other for a home and roommate. She told me she kept seeing my ad coming up on Craigslist and kept feeling it was the right fit and that it was better to have a happy home then to work at home. And so here she is, in our home, nesting, and co-existing in a great place together. She’ll come in use my computer in the mornings and we’ll listen to music together, watch movies and run around dodging each other in a hurry to get to work or a friends house. She’s a beautiful soul and I’m so happy to have found or been given such a lovely, kind soul to live with. She is well worth the wait and all the interviews to have the perfect roommate!

I have now started film some of my dances, so hopefully soon I can put them on here. Love to share that with you, instead of just stills!

So life is good, I feel more alive every day then ever before. May your heart be singing, your soul awaken more and more each day!

I look forward to hearing from you!!!!

I send you all hugs and so much love, Heather