Soulmate, Lessons, Dance, Life....

Hello there,
How are you? I know, long time no hear. So much has been up, happening and I haven't taken the time to share. I truly think of so many so much but I just don't take the time write all the time individually, but I'd love to hear from you.

For me, I met my soulmate February 8th, this year, or should I say, A soulmate, as I don't feel there is only one for each person. It was amazing, breathing, exhilerating. We met each other in so many areas, first, on the dance floor-never have I been met so well on the dance floor by a man in my life. It was as if I was dancing with myself, slow, fast, contact, I lifted him up immediately and he went with it in such trust, I did not know he teaches Contact Improv since we'd never talked. In my first glance at him he inspired me to dance even more. When we connected it was as if I saw his soul, we lit up, we exploded off each other and then met up later.

Off the dance floor we met each other in such incredible, amazing ways that I'd never been met-in communication, sharing, truth,speaking all upfront and with love, compassion, making love like neither of had ever experienced and believing in so many of the same things, supporting each other through so much. I'd never been in something so connected, so easy when we were together. We just lit each other up, inspired and grew from know each other. I saw his soul, not so much his physicalness but his soul shined through. I get you don't choose your soulmates, they just come, and you can choose to embrace them or not.

So now, 4 months later, I found myself last week in a quandary and breaking up with him. As much as it was so powerful with him, he lives in Northern California and when apart, it was not so easy. When I realized I wasn't being met when we were apart, and being met could be energetically, phone, skype, notes, emails...but connectedness, showing up and meeting in the space of heart and soul. I realized it was time to end it, as hard as it was.

My first thought the morning after was "what did I do....so taking care of myself and doing what is best for me isn't always aligned with what I want". I sat with that, really allowed it to move through me and it take very long before I got..."but it is what I want...the big picture is I want my life partner, as so taking care of myself doesn't always look like what I want in the moment, but it is what I want for the long term". As he wasn't ready for a commitment. I am. It was a difference of where we are at and nothing more than that.

And the lessons that have come from that since have been mind blowing...it's not always what we think. I woke up this morning, 5 days after I broke it off, and really feeling all the good stuff he and I had and went through together, breathing that all in and realized, there was only happiness, joy, bliss and excitement. As those experiences are mine, they are part of me and if I can remember them within me I have them and can bring them into my next relationship and manifest anything I want. As, if I can manifest someone so close to what I want, I can manifest someone better.

No one can take these experiences away from me....I realized there wasn't one ounce of sadness, as I would have had in the past, I didn't feel a lack in the loss of not having it any more. I felt love, and gratitude and excitement for the lessons, for all those experiences and all the openings and love that I got to share, the gratitude is beyond anything I've ever imagined before. I felt it, I had it still living within me, it's still mine, it's a part of me and why not let that grow huge in me so I can go to my next step in the next relationship.

How profound is all of this, to love, to allow the loss, cry when the tears come up, let everything flow through and see the joyful happy times, with no attachment to the past, but an opening to the future and celebrate, really celebrate. That's probably the most exciting thing I've ever felt. And that is the real gift of all of this...celebrating life, what we learn no matter how easy or hard it is. I got feel I was given so much in these 4 months with him, I love seeing and feeling those gifts and embracing them all.

Yesterday was the first morning I woke up without him being on my mind and this morning I woke up thrilled about life. I feel so empowered, so relieved by my choice to choose me, my future of keeping my intention to being with my soulmate/life partner this year. I feel this and have felt it for a very long time now. So I'll take joy over pain any day. I embraced the pain fully, I reached out for support and now I feel so clear it is perfect. I love the lessons of life, even these painful ones as it stretches me.

These past few months have been pretty incredible anyway. I've taken to studying Contact Improv, going to do some workshops this summer in this work. I've been dancing 2-7 hours a day 3-5 days a week and this is very exciting to me. I have all kinds of plans for dance in my future and this really thrills me. Though just living in the moment is pretty profound too. I'll be putting up some videos soon of some of the dance I've been up too.

I went to Sedona, in Arizona to video my teachers at the Daka/Dakini Conference (sacred sexual healers). That was so much fun...learning to direct the cameras, being behind the scene as well as using my artistic eye to capture some incredible scenes at the conference. Meeting some amazing people, seeing my teachers and being with good friends.

There is so much more I can share but I'll stop there. Life is good and getting better. I love you all so very much. I miss hearing from you and wish you all your dreams coming true. Hugs and love, Heather
Ps. I'll be sending out some links to some videos I was in soon as well, just for fun.
PPS. Sukhi, my kitten, had her first bout of fleas and going to the vet, she's recovered from it all thankfully now, but man she was a little crazed there for a bit the poor thing. XXOO