Do you have buttons to be pushed? India will push them!!!

Do you have buttons to be pushed? India will push them!!!
Hello there,
Where to start that is the question with this entry. So much has happened, so much has been seen, tasted, heard, felt, done and smelt! I guess I'll start with I left Varkala as well as Kerala. I didn't realize how ready I was to leave until I did. I did love my stay there being near the ocean always makes me so happy. And my last few days there were great! I met this beautiful couple from China and we had meals together and went for a long walk as I wanted to show them the only sand beach in the area and I wanted to check out Showcut's Guesthouse that my friend Suzanne recommended to me.

Well we had a great taste of India on this adventure as we met this Indian family that took us into their home, up tiny streets to find their home with the sounds of the Muslim temples sounding their calls from here and there! We get to their home to a dirt floor, plain beds with a simple mattress on them, we sat on matts on the floor as when one of my friends sat in the only chair it broke!!! That's India! They probably only use it for guest actually. Well they insisted on feeding us traditional Indian food from their kitchen-spicy but beautiful! They were oh so generous with the food, then the chai, the water, the tea. We were well watered down and full!

After much talk about how the families daughter could go to school in Finland, where my friends live, as they have connections all was set and then them trying to see if I could get her into school or a job in the US and then to leave after a few hours.

We walked the walk to the beach which was stunning. We looked for the Showcut's with no luck, but I know we got close. But it was gorgeous with the white sand, the fisherman and clear skies with the sun going down. We found some fisherman with a few fish and one was huge, one was medium size and both fish cost us fresh, still alive on the beach in a whole in the sand, 60rs- $1.50 for both!!!! We walked home and got there just as it got dark and Illy, the wife fixed a fabulous and yummy dinner of fish and veggies, Chinese fish soup with a Indian flare of taste, with rice! That was a great way to say good bye to Varkala.

The train trip up was 17 1/2 hours long and proved again to me how hospitable Indians are. They made sure I was included in the talk, made sure my order was in when I got hungry and so I got food on the train. Finally at night when I was tired and I was on the bottom bunk the middle person above me put up his bed and went to bed! On top of all this I met this beautiful angel-all my Indian angels in this country are remarkable, his name Sundeep. He took me to the ticket office and found that the train wasn't for 7 hours to Mysore and so he walked me out and he found my bus for me and not only walked me to it but then he waited outside my window, full attention on me and when I turned after I was settled I saw these bright eyes waiting to make sure I was ok and he waved with a brilliant very white teeth smile. What an angel.

The three hour bus ride was like a roller coaster ride of things to see-so much to see in one view. After leaving the train journey where I saw women walking her 2 cows on the railroad-beef tonight if a train came, and the cows on the road, as we passed all the green lush coconut lands of Kerala. On to Karnatika, where it's less green but still beautiful. So my bus ride was wild in the way that I saw the raw, real India again for the first time since Calcutta, but this time there are cows in the streets, boys having a rope on a cow walking it, a telephone in the middle of no where, except a hut next to it, the phone balanced on a wooden pole with an umbrella above it to shield the sun if someone wanted to use the yellow device! Where is my camera when I need it!

Then we passed the boy on the bike with colorful buckets, bowls, balls, all kinds of plastic objects strapped onto his bike about 3 feet wide and high riding down the street, another one on a motorbike. Then there was the woman with a green bale of hay so high on her head and wide you couldn't see her face, walking down the freeway. Then there are these huge animals, I haven't found out what they are yet, maybe white water buffalo, that have horns and they have a carrage full of things with a man on board and a wooden slat behind their heads to keep their heads up as they bobble in awkward rythems down the street pulling this cart. It looked so unnatural as their heads normally lean forward and their gate was too quick for them and so their heads looked strange as their heads were all over the place.

So I get into Mysore, jump off the bus that is way to high off the ground for me and my bag. It's the only place I got into that only one Richshaw person asked me for a ride. I walked to my hotel, where only locals stay with a dingy restaurant and bar. Got my room with my own bath. Ok, get this, it's call the Green's Hotel. My walls are green, I have two twin beds with canapies with nothing on them, I have a bathroom that probably hasn't been cleaned in a while. It has windows to the hallway as well as one at the ceiling light to come in when the electricy goes out, which it does often here. My sheets were used from the last person that was here, my blanket probably hasn't been washed since it was bought. But it is home to me!!!! I love my little dingy room with a desk with attached mirror! Yes, it's mine and for 90rs ($2.12) who can complain! Cheapest place in town!

Ok, so I leave my place and within a 1/2 hour I get 2 phone numbers from people who want to "be friends" and show me around and tell me about a oil and incense festival going on only today! Within a day I had 4 phone numbers. Oh and 4 people asked me in the first half hour if I was here for yoga and then I remembered this is Ashtanga Yoga town.

I finally ate and came out to walk and this same boy found me and walked me to this so called festival. Well this festival is a private bottom floor of a house where this Ayurvedic "doctor" has incense made by 5 women and he tries to sell the essential oils for US prices as it is pure. This is the thing for Mysore, incense and oils and silks.

Well everyone here has a factory to show you, wants to be friends and show you around, "no money, just friends". The bustling of the streets is wild. I haven't walked around a city in over 2 months. Now I have to dodge not only rickshaws, people, and cars, but now cows with great big horns and huge utters full of milk. Hummm.....do females have horns in the US? Probably! Still more healthy dogs here with utters as well from their pups! I never remember dogs having such long, saggy boobies!!! ; )

Oh, I forgot I was considering staying in Varkala as my landlord wanted me to do hair and teach yoga there. He knew of a two bedroom/2 bathroom apartment with a full sundeck for only $375.00 A YEAR!!!! Yep you heard me right. But I left.

I saw a sign the other day that said "Muslim Burial Ground under construction", no thank you, don't want to be there! Another sign in my favorite restaurant so far that says "you can smoke as long as you don't exhale"-Love it!!! Then I took a bus to Chumundi Hill and saw lots of signs saying "you are entering a no plastic zone", well with India there is no such thing as no plastic. Everything is either plastic or they cook everything in Aluminum-not good! Both of health effects. But when told about it they say that steele is worse-not sure where they got that.

For my breakfast I go 2 doors down to the Veg-Kourt for a buffet of my first cornflakes in years, fresh cut papaya, Uppa-and Indian dish that is spelled and said a million different ways- it's semolina with veggies-my favorite breakfast here, with Chai, all for 45rs (40rs=$1.00). Then for lunch I go to my favorite place to eat that serves the northern Indian version of a Thali, here called "meals". This is a huge chapti (indian tortilla), a large bowl of rice, 2 veggies, two liquid veggy dishes, butter milk in a little bowl and curd-top that off with a sweet lassi (a sweet yogurt drink!) all for the price of meal 17rs and lassi 12rs or 10rs depending on what day you are there, it's lunch, it's delicious and it's all you can eat! But I don't need all you can eat as it's plenty as is!

Oh, on the trains here and buses, it's really hard for me to deal with, with a country so big, populated and traveled they throw plastics, paper, everything out the windows. It's so sad. When asked about it they say, and this is so true, that there are no bins on the trains, I couldn't find one so they don't have options of a trash can or recycling yet. I hope soon though. Some say that garbage is the least of their problems, but one day they'll need to do something about it. I hope!

I saw a woman reach down dip her bowl into the gutter water on the street of Bangalore and wash her face from it, well that's one way to wash your face, but is it more clean before or afterward! ; )

I love this country for it's differences but then it pushes my buttons as well, like many other people that come here. Being a white or western person here we are constantly questioned and it's the same questions "what is your good name? Where are you from? Do you like Mysore or where ever? How long you here? Where you going?" etc. There are more but those are just the most common. They are always trying to get something from us. I can't understand or put myself in their shoes walking up to someone, if I was wearing nice clothes and clean, and say "give me money or pen please, coins please". I wish I could understand it but it's such a different culture from the US.

How can I put myself in their shoes with my mind and see that it is ok to ask for something from someone just because they have a different skin color-this is my dilemna. I can understand being hungry and needing food, but most of these people have food, a bed at night, a family that loves them and clean nice clothes. But my lesson is love and patience in all of this and to stay open. As when I close it only gets worse.

In Bangalore I saw people riding one humped camels in the streets! I've only seen this in Rajastan last time.

I have to say I'm more at ease with the dirt and grime of the real India here in Mysore then the beautiful, sort of poshness of Kerala. It's like some part of me loves the realness, everything hanging out dirt of the third world, though it pushes my buttons with the sharp loud shreaks of the horns on the cars, the screaming in the streets, the non stop harassment, the women being closed off to everyone and a look of sadness in their face, the non stop dodging someone or something as they won't get out of your way. This if funny, in a country with so many people you'd think they would know how to walk around each other-this cracks me up, but they walk right toward you and they do it to other Indians too, not just westerners. It's as if they are unaware that they are going to run into you or maybe they think you'll move. But it really challenges me some days and somedays I just laugh. Always an adventure! ; )

Did I tell you the wetness of Kerala? I hung my bag up and while I was in Varkala it grew about a 1/2 inch thick mold through it's suede from the outside to the inside, this was the wetness of that state. Right now here and now, is the first time my skin has been dry since January 25th, the day I left. I haven't been dry since then until now. It actually gets cool out, I need a long sleeved top, I need a blanket at night and I can wear my khakis without sweating to death in them! I love the elevation and dryness of the almost desert!

I hiked up the Chumundi Hill- it's a 1000 steps up and a 1000 steps back down. Yes some great aerobic exercise!!!! Loved it. Yet I stopped and talked to many Indians and a few westerners (most I've seen since Sivananda) along the way, played with the Indian babies with their black smudges on their foreheads -this is to make their baby ugly so no one comes and takes their babies, but the beauty of them shines through anyway. They don't have any clue how to deal with a white person so I just tickle them and make them laugh and then they almost forget I'm white as for their belly laughter!

Oh I walked through their market with a color show of powdered brightly colored paints for skin, piled up in high in bowls-reds, yellows, oranges, greens, all for dying or painting. Then you follow a woman to a stall and she has the flowers Jasmine in her hair as most Indian women do, then the scent of Lotus coming from my skin from the oil seller down the way, then comes the most lovely scent that I haven't smelled in 7 months of cilantro from the veggie market. The bright colors of carrots, greens, avocados, then the cut open pomogranites that are face up to be shown to sell. Gorgeous! So many scents and colors to feast your eyes on it's the most brilliant place to be for the senses!

On the train up here and in other places Indians ask how I can travel alone, they'd be scared, aren't I scared? I didn't realize it but Indians don't do anything alone and people don't travel alone unless they have to for business. Even if on a business trip they'll take a friend with them. So am I scared, at times, it's the unknown, but for the most part I just take in the view and everyday is a lesson in trusting and everyday I am shown that I can. Even if it's just a little bit.

Like this morning,I go the lesson I'm being taken care of. I need to have a hot bucket shower twice a week for my Siddha oil bath and so I asked for hot water (not normal for here to have hot water for bathing), they boil my water and before I can get it they have come with it to my door. They make sure I am carrying the bucket correctly not to burn myself or spill it on myself and then I go in and feel this overwhelming feeling of being taken care of and trust in the Universe.

So strange to have days where I want to go home or I want to just go off to Australia and then I have something like the hot water happen and I am just pleased as pie! I grin, I feel great, I am in love with life and happy to be here and alive.

Today I was invited to the next village over where the yoga is to have lunch with some girls from Canada and the US, it was great to have the company of Westerners, have a salad, YES! and for the first time since I was probably 10 a grilled cheese sandwich in their very westernized apartment they sublet for 5000rs a month, but goes for 10,000rs normally-tv, couch, kitchen, hot water and everything is there.

I have met a lovely Austrian woman as well that we had dinner together last night and now we are going to dinner again, it's nice to have company for some meals. Today has been great, I had the best meditation I've had in months, so focused and clear. I had great company, I found an Ayurvedic Hospital that I want to check out and now I'm off to dinner.

Life is good, even with all my buttons being pushed, it's really beautiful. But if we don't have our buttons pushed we don't know they are there and how do we learn and grow. So look and listen for those buttons as they are our guidelines to where we need to grow. My patience and love is growing each day, my mind is calming (I think the Siddha medicine is working-something in having to care for yourself with oil twice a week and medication 3 times a day does something to the self caring) and so life is looking so beautiful.

I got a huge awakening yesterday that I want to find a new yoga community and go deeper into yoga and the practice and the living of yoga. I'm so excited by this, ever so thrilled. I feel this is a beautiful way to heal and grow and expand the mind and let go of the chatter. So I am researching yoga all over India, it's exciting yet so far everything starts in September and October, I'm sure it will work itself out!

Live your dreams, let your heart fly, speak your passions and dream your dreams that you dare to have come true and they will! I send you love, light, hugs and smiles. Many blessings and sweet dreams, Love, Heather

Hospitals, Yoga and Challenges!!!! ; )

Dearest Ones,

Wow, wow, wow, the ups and downs of India! Everyday there are challenges and beauty. I see the beauty in the Indian faces I pass by more and more. I am staying in Varkala right now it's been over 2 weeks now. It's been a crazy time. I showed up with two glorious gals from Sivananda Ashram. The connection was gorgeous! I taught a few yoga classes while they were here and then I've taught a few others to some locals-my landlords, which was great they were open to it!

The coconut trees, the ocean and air just lulls me to sleep at night and swings me into restful state in my hammock by day. One of my landlords wants me to stay here, teach yoga, do hair cuts and teach dance to the tourists, as high season starts in a month here. It is very tempting, I could actually make quite the salary here but I'm not sure, so I'll live in the moment and see what happens. It's great to have options!

So since I've been in Varkala I've been to a few hospitals some are Ayurveda and Siddha healing centers and some are medical hospitals. Let me tell you if you ever need to get some treatment done, this is the place to do it, they are good and really cheap. I went in for a ultra sound for the fibroids and the whole thing with check up was $12.00 and they checked all my organs inside as well-liver, kidneys, spleen etc. So it was very thorough as well as they were so gentle, much more gentle then in the US-which for me was very traumatic to my body. I know what I am dealing with now, I am knowing my options, if I need surgery I know it's cheap- only $1000.00 but I really am looking for natural cures which I'm finding step by step!!!

I was so happy that a woman, Marie came with me with my landlord to the hospital for support, they were incredible waiting for me and just being there in the city of Trivandrum-the capital of Kerala. OH, something you may want to know, Kerala is the only place that has been voted in a communist state (I think in the world, not sure though), and it's the richest state in all of India. It is also half Christian here, a lot of Muslims and then Hindus. There are some fights between them, like some Hindus mades some commotion with some Muslims and got them thrown in jail and as they were in jail they went to their restaurant-which is all open air, not a 4 walled place, like most places here, and they threw all their things over the cliff into the ocean-television and all-pretty crazy, so now it's time for them to start redecorating again, now out of jail.

I went to a Siddha/Ayurveda hospital, they claim to be able to heal everything but 1st stage Diabetes and so I start the medicine tomorrow. I went 2 weeks ago and got the medicine but I got a fever for 3 evenings-crazy thing as I haven't had a fever in ages and I was hallucinating and thinking of things I hadn't thought of in years going in and out of consciousness. But luckily only a little cough is left. I am back to yoga and ready to start the Siddha medicine. I'm excited about all the options I'm finding-this world is truly fascinating, when you ask and open it brings a plentiful and variety of options. It's not always easy but it is truly wild what it brings and shows you. Especially with all the challenges of India on top of things.

I was just talking to my gorgeous freind Helene this morning about how people come to India and we are tested like crazy, from the dirty toilets, to the "the train will be here in 30 minutes" and it comes in 2 hours, to them saying maybe which means definately, to the head wobble from side to side (ear to ear) which means "maybe/yes", to the not being able to use a credit card as they can't get the phone line to work, to going to order a chai and since the cook is having breakfast you have to wait for them to finish first-you really get to see it's not all about "me" any more, it's about the whole, about people, about patience and being relaxed at all times, not being in a hurry or eating when they want you to eat at your hotel and not eating when you want to eat. The tests are here everyday but it's fun too.

Last night I went out with some girls for chai, one being my friend Helene from Australia (which I'll see once I am there!!! YES!), and it had been raining and I got up to go to the toilet. Let me say when it rains here it pours down so much the soil can't hold it so it causes huge puddles. The toilet it basically outside but with a door. I stepped into the toilet and walked up to the toilet and there was this deep puddle and I slipped and fell into this big puddle of water. At first it's like, "yikes, what am I laying in" as I get up, then it's they choice to get mad or laugh or both? So then I brushed myself off, went pee and laughed at it a moment later, thinking what a funny thing life, fall down, get back up and brush yourself off. Do we laugh or get mad? Sometimes I do both.

The Universe has been testing me lately. It's put me in this gorgeous place, with amazing healthy and loving dogs-that I've come an aunt to 4 pups lately, but then it puts me alone and then with people non stop, then all the 3 way friendships of how everyone interacts, one moment two talks, ones silent, 2 go off together, one is left alone, all the emotions that come up with it all. All the lack of communication when it would be so easy just to say/write "I'm going off to the beach see you later". I sometimes feel I come from a different planet. As I leave notes for people saying where I am and when I'm coming back-I guess my moms down home training is still in me, but others not being that way and being left dangling, it's a huge lesson, one of letting go of what I am used to.

Since when did we all become so independent, feeling like we don't need each other, feeling that we don't need to say something to another? I don't know, I sometimes feel like an alien, but it's ok, it just shows my differences, but I like that I'm this way. Talk about testing self acceptance, everyday there is another test in it. I know I've gotten quite independent at home and don't feel a need to explain where I am, but here I am starting to go back to my childhood, feeling it more powerfully and liking it as it seems much more human.

Here the Indians are always asking "where are you going? What are you doing? What's in the bag?" It comes across as nosy but at least they are interested, and sometimes it's irritating, but other times it feels so connected and human. So the tests go on. So some things to ponder, how are you in 3 way friendships-comfortable, uncomfortable, how do you respond to them? Where are you at with telling people where you will be? Does it feel like checking in with a parent or like freedom? How is your heart with change and difference with others? How are you challenged with the differences and the samenesses of others?

So here I am, healing, researching healing, growing, resisting, letting go, pushing, pulling, relaxing, straining and hopefully growing from all of it. Relaxing in the flow-hopefully anyway. Trying to let go of the future, the plans, the monkey mind that keeps chattering. But happy to feel how lucky I am to be here right now and feel grateful in life, even with all the challenges. How do you face challenges and the chattering inside?

I am learning to let all my sides come out lately. I'm not always comfortable with hanging out in 3 ways friendships, but lately I'm learning more and more to make people laugh and finding that the laughter really supports everyone. The two people I've been hanging out with here has commented on how everyone is so serious and how nice and refreshing it is to have me laughing and making them laugh-the feels so wonderful to know I can make them laugh. It is a balance to my serious side!!! ; ) Thank goodness!

Oh, I have to share a drink with you, take water, ginger and lemon and put them in a blender, mix them with some honey, strain it and drink it, it feels like pure energy and aliveness going down. I love this drink, it's not the same just squeezing it into a cup. It's so simple and yummy!

Another crazy thing happening here, there is a woman at the place next door, this is so India, her flight to Bombay is at 3:45am, she gets to the airport the first night, "sorry you are not on this list so you can't go as it's full", next day she spends the day trying to get a flight to Bombay, she gets some sleep, the next night she goes back, "sorry, it will be late and you will miss your flight to Paris so you might as well not go", she missed it again last night, I'm not sure why but I think this is India telling her not to go as she doesn't want to go. These are the crazy things of India.

Once India has you she doesn't want to let you go. I know when I had to leave India the first time-and I had to as my visa was to expire, I left and then cried and made myself sick wanting to come back. It's as if she gets right into your heart and doesn't want to let you go. Even as hard as it is at times, you are never the same and you always want to come back.

I'm have finally got a cell phone number here!!!! I'm so happy to be able to have some freedom to call places without having to look for a call box, and I feel blessed to be recieving phone calls from friends, so if you are interested in giving me a shout, my Indian cell phone number is 9995569611, if it's from the US you need to dial 011-91 first and then the number from what I've been told.

Ok loves, take care, I miss and love you. I send you hugs. Let me know how you are and what is up and new with you? May your heart be wrapped in a blanket of the softest love and lay upon a pillow of comfort, beauty and safety from within. Everyday we must learn to have self love and acceptance, enjoy the journey and know you are not alone. Your pain is all of our pain, as none of us have a pain someone can't relate too, even if it's different, we are all connected. Your joy is everyones joy, so lets share who we are in full-with all of our emotions, pain, laughter, etc. Love and bliss to you, Heather