Hello there,
My goodness...how do I even begin, it's been since October of LAST YEAR since I've written. First, how are you? How is your life? Are you any closer to your goals? Dreams? Passions?
What was one thing you wanted for this year, this powerful number of 2011? For me, January came and I thought FREEDOM. Well Freedom is what I'm getting.
But before I get too far ahead of myself. In October last year I moved from Santa Rosa, Ca back to Los Angeles, I met a who new group of people, by the beginning of November I had signed a contract to produce my clothing line, mostly for dancers but really for anyone who loves comfy clothes. So YES, in one month I went from dreaming of making a clothing line to them being in my hands.
It was a HUGE project, a full time job, on top of my work. I started contracting as a massage therapist in an office and it's been GREAT! I love the people I work with and the clients. I have such freedom as I get my bills paid, I can tell them if I can't make a shift, etc. I LOVE that!
If you want to see my new clothing line go to: www.dressednaked.net yes that is right, it's as if you are naked, but with clothes on! I love it. This is my baby and I've been selling them to friends and people in dance communities around the US so far. It's a huge thing to take on selling things when I've been in service my whole life. But it's been a huge eye opening experience and I may do my first "show" at the end of April. I've already done my first Holiday Bazaar at Christmas time.
So January came and I focused on opening to freedom, love, my life life partner, creating income coming in as I travel, when I sleep and doing what I love and loving what I do. So far it's started happening. Something is pulling me to move.
In January after a Contact Improv class an inner voice told me to go to the bookstore. With some resistance I agreed...knowing I need to listen to this voice. I went straight to the travel section, as I knew that is where I was to be. And sure enough I look up and the book from Argentina almost FALLS off the shelf. I grab it and in moments I went from "yeah, I could go to Argentina" to, heart pounding, excitement pouring into each pour "I've got to go here, nature, nature, nature and backpacking and nature" this is my place. I have to say, I didn't sleep much for about 2 days. I was on a high. I almost packed up for March 1st. But chose to wait so I could do my dream.
My dream for years now has been to explore Brazil, study dance and martial arts there, shamanism in Peru and go to Chili, all while hiking every mountain I can get my feet on, as well as going into the Amazon- a place I feel very connected to in many life times.
So I chose to pause, in the pause I was guided almost 2 weeks ago to give my notice to my landlord- this is a place I've lived almost 9 years, longest place in my WHOLE life, the only "home" I've known. Thinking I could still change my mind.
I talked to a friend, I went through some incredible processes, I had to let go of so much, a part of me, a part of LA, my "home" that had started feeling more like a cage and said "yes, it is time to FREE myself". I had a garage sale, then 2 moving sales, now with more then half of my furniture gone, some of my cd's, most of my DVD's, many of my VHS's, clothes sold, I realize I'm really doing this. I let go of some of my most precious peices of furniture, my first peice of art I bought, a bit of mourning came the next day, but I'm feel my soul feeling free.
I'm noticing people are noticing this energetically in me. As I walk down the street or this morning I was on the beach, people really looked me in the eye, stopped me to talk with me...this is LA, it hasn't happened in a bit. So my life within me is lightening up. I'm making room for my "life" to come through, for people in my life, for strangers who want to talk, ask me questions, not that I didn't before, it's just different, with a flare of freedom that I haven't had in a while.
So maybe wondering..."is she leaving NOW for South America, it's going into winter"? Nope, I am going to go to nature, some where in Northern California, then in a few months- September or October, I'll be taking off for Argentina. Starting in the place I'm most excited about.
I'll be going to many of the Contact Improv Festivals to connect with people and locals, taking more Spanish lessons, hoping in a years time I'll be close to fluent and allowing myself to stay if I make work for myself. Yes that is right, if I find "home" there, I'll stay. I feel I have a lot to offer South America that it doesn't have already- Ecstatic Dance first (they only have step dance from what I have researched and been told) and massage- not a whole lot of that there. Plus I can do hair, which of course they have there. On top of many other movement classes I can teach- Contact Improv, Body Awareness, Conscious Touch/relationship skills, personal training and who knows what else.
So I'm dreaming big and the Universe is supporting me so much that I, being self employed mostly last year, am somehow getting a refund on my taxes (I worked in a salon for a few months), something I didn't expect....but it's enough to get me to South America.
Anyone wanting to join me. You are welcome to come. I'd love to see you. If I can inspire or support you in any way to live your dreams and goals, please let me know how I can be there for you. Know that the only way we can do something is to dream it.
When I get sad about selling my things, or having to give up my kitty (if my friends can't take her) I think of the big dream, the dream of being wide open, being free.
My last trip was very internal, this one feels like it's about being out there, loving, connecting, being in nature, meditating, learning a language I'm passionate about and so much more.
Let me know how you are? Where you are you now? Where do you want to be in a year?
I hope it won't be so long since I write again.
Also there is some poetry I've written, you can see it below here. If you'd like to read it.
Sending you much love, Heather
