Hello there,
How are you? How is your life? Your heart? Your friends? Your love? Are you living life and letting life live you? Well there are days I am living life and there are days that it's living me, both have had their experiences.
I'm still in Pune, even though I was to leave, with train ticket in my hand on Friday but I must have manifested something great. Friday morning I woke up and asked myself "do I want to leave" with no "reasons" given to stay, just what is the answer, yes or no, not, if I stay I could do this or that, just Yes or No.
Wow, how lovely to look at it as a want and not look at a result of why I should do something. While living in LA I got so result oriented and here I'm learning from Osho that doing something from the heart,the passion, with no reason, no result in mind is what brings us to bliss state. So I knew that I wasn't quite ready to leave Pune but wasn't willing to go through and cancel my ticket, so I said "I leave it to you Universe and I let go". Well long story short, I got a phone call from my travel agent telling me my TRAIN has been canceled. Talk about manifestation! I wasn't sad at all. So now I'm here.
Part of the reason I wanted to stay was I was invited to perform tonight in a variety show as a belly dancer. So that is what I am doing. Osho says "if you were born to be a dancer and you decide to be a book keeper instead and wonder why you aren't a dancer. It's because the dancing jobs and gigs are being sent to your dancing address, and you are not there. You are a book keeper and not at the dancing address so it can't get to you". Well this hit home since all my life I have known to my core I'm a dancer, singer, and that I've always wanted to act and write as well and love nature. So I opened myself up to dance and here it came. Twice in a week I was offered to dance on stage. I would love to send photos or video it but it's not allowed in the resort. So can't do that. I'm learning a ton, it would take me a long time to tell you all of it.
So I'll go on to nature, this is one of many that I have written about and in nature these past weeks being here where it's lush and green, rivers flowing and birds chirping:
Watching a tree as it dances in the wind above my head. the branches moving, bending, flowing. The leaves shimmering, moving with the current of air rustling through them, just being. Trees all always in movement, maybe even very still movement but movement is still there-like humans sleeping-we still breathe which causes movement. What's fascinating about trees are they are always letting go. Something is dead on it or from it and it just let's it go.
I lay there underneith it's branches and it drops all kinds of presents on me from it, just letting go. We humans have things die and we hang on to them, we begrudge them, drag it around, dig them up later and think about them. We don't go with the flow of now but live in the past. When will we let go? Cut the past, let it die and let it lie? Nature shows us so much. No thought, no accumulating, no money. Just dancing and the birds come and sing in them. The trees sing having their own song to sing if you listen closely.
Beautiful, full of air, leaves whisping around. Nature is happy, peaceful, in bliss state. As Osho says "Nature is happy, not that they have a choice in it, but us humans do" so what are we going to choose today, tomorrow, and for our life? Breathe in and let it go!
I can't tell you what I've been through in the past weeks of being here. It's been so beautiful to connect with nature, myself, gorgeous, open hearted people on their path. Meeting two glorious Brazilian girls to laugh, touch, share and play with has been lovely, they are two of my neighbors and my other neighbor from Jordan he has the most beautiful heart. He finished his thesis on deaf and dumb people. He is writing a book on how to teach them from his computer program he's made. How wonderful! He is a great inspiration for me! And it's wonderful giving him inspiration for newness in his life, family, etc-as he has two gorgeous twins at home!
Another thing I wrote since I've been here:
When was the last time you danced in the rain? I mean really danced in the rain, TOTALLY!
To play, dance, splash, be a child, be a child adult! Get wet and wild. Get your hair wet, your clothes wet, maybe even a little dirty or a lot dirty! Not to think of getting ill or cold, just being in the rain. Seeing it feeling it, smelling it, tasting it. Seeing each rain drop fall until one lands right in your eye! How lovely! It's as if the Universe is asking you "Are you watching"? Splash, right in the eye! "yes you are watching, good, great! you see me, feel me and I love you. I bathe you and we are one. We dance and sing together. Thank you for seeing and feeling me. I feel you too".
When do we stop and feel the rain, really feel it and love it, dance and be EN-JOY with it! EN-JOY!
Another one:
Watching a Butterfly in it's Eratic flight
It's like a human. it's always buzzing around all over the place, doing, doing, doing. Going here, not there, not here but there, never stopping more then moments at a time. It eats gets nourishment and flits off. Who knows if they actually stop to even release what they've eaten. Even though they are gorgeous in fight, so stunning and captivating to watch, they are never still for very long. Isn't that like us? Creatures of the doing, letting go of the being. Yt for us it's about money, career, fame, etc. For them it's about survival. We think we ned these things to live but what do we need? We need love, good friends, fresh air, nutritious food and laughter to have a beautiful life. But even a few of those things we can excits without. But it makes life more full to have. What do you need today, to live, to exist? What do you need to be BLISSFUL?
This is one of my first ones I wrote here in the pond outside of the auditorium:
I watch the rain drops on the water outside Osho's Auditorium and how they ripple like sound waves, so quickly. They just hit the water and before you know it the ripples are their and gone before you can hang on ore really see or feel them. They are so quick, like life. If you don't see it or feel it, be aware of it, slow down to be with it, it's gone.
Just like a falling leaf. If you don't pause you don't see it's dance floating down to the water or the ground. or how it lands. there is so much we miss by doing. We do so much-for what?-money, things, power, society, family-why the doing, when do we let go of it. Even in retirement when you ask a retired person how they are they reply busy and they haven't a clue how they worked and did what they do now.
So when do we stop, pause, look, listen, enjoy and celebrate this moment? When....Not tomorrrow as it's not here and this moment is gone. Our children grow up so fast, we don't say, I wish I would have worked more, we say I wish we were there more for them, to see them grow, laugh, walk, talk, play and learn from them-as they are truly our teachers, in the moment, full of life, laughter and love.
So when, when do we pause? when we have to-death or when the doctors say lay down or/and die?
There is so much to see and feel why do we continually do do do? This is the question I ask myself I unwind from still the doing of life.
Ok, well I could write so much more. But this is part of what I've learned, grown through and going through and I wanted to share my writings with you.
I send you love. I hug you. What do you want to do with this day of your life?
Love, Heather
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Mysore to Pune-WOW! What a Journey!!!!!
Hello there,
Yes, I know it's been a while. I guess life has just taken me away. But you are never far from my thoughts. So I guess the last time I wrote was when I left Kerala. So let me back up to Mysore. Mysore was this great city that had an amazing Palace that they lit up with thousands of lights on Sunday nights.It was magical, breath taking, stunning and like a fairy tale castle at night. By day, well let me just say this, taking a walk around this place, I thought "Oh this will take an hour" well the glass ceilings, edges of the walls and ceiling that were painted with angels, birds, peacocks and designs just left me thrilled and after 3 hours of stairing upward toward the painted ceilings and the colored glass I was blown away and pooped! My chiropractor is going to love me-literally, as he tells me looking up is a good thing for the neck as we spend so much time looking down it screws up the spine.
But anyway, I met Christine, which I think I told you about and she made sure I did some touristy things, like going to ruins, temples, etc. Not my thing really but honestly after taking over 300 photos of all the tiny intricate details of these relics of shiva, shakti, and many other Gods and Goddesses, I was done with being a "tourist". We ran around a few cities, missed our last bus out and had to go to another city to get another bus to the city we needed,which is the same city we forgot to get off at early that day-I suggested we jump off the train as it had just started moving but she wasn't all that keen on it and if you knew how heavy my bag was you may not have jumped either-I'll be sending some of those 14 books and new clothes home soon!
But we got to the city we needed, had an incredible dinner for something like a dollar or two and then sat at the train station-almost took a "retiring room" which is a room with a bed in it. But instead I took my comfy yoga mat, threw it down on a bench, put my head in Christine's lap and rested. There was no sleep with all the loud speaker things being screached across the train station. So our train got in only a half hour late at something like 2:30am and we were off to Hampi.
Hampi, OH, Hampi. A town I LOVE. Did I say LOVE, yes LOVE. I felt at home there, I felt at peace there. It was lovely, no traffic, no horns,no cars to dodge. Just venders trying to sell you things but other than that peace, beauty and fresh air.
Sitting next to the river in the morning after my yoga practice I'd watch the locals come and bath in their shorts for men and full on saris for women. Then they'd do laundry by smacking the clothes against rocks and concrete of the steps. Then once a sari was washed they'd go and lift it up to dry some in the wind,just blowning in their arms. Then they'd lay it down on the concrete railings to dry in the sun. So colors were every where!
The little kids would run around naked brushing their teeth with their grand father trying to get them to bathe in the river. They'd finally get there. It was stunning.
Then there were the huge banana fields amongst all the brown desert with green bushes growing amongst all the dryness! There were a ton of ruins there, I spent a whole day by foot exploring and it was just glorious to be out on foot for the whole day, with the sky threatening to rain. But just before it was to rain a rickshaw driver with already 3 people in it stopped and did the most incredible thing. He told me to get in, he was going to Hampi. I asked "for free" he told me to get in, knowing I was going to get drenched and didn't charge me a thing. I was grateful! The kindness of these people at the perfect time just opens me, reminds me to trust and to really just be and I am fully taken care of in so many ways. How have you been taken care of this week? It's nice to look at and appreciate those moments. I've had many on this trip and I lay in gratitude for these people!
So I went shopping for gorgeous clothes in Hampi, first time I felt like shopping. I think it's because it had the Rajastan feel and they have the most incredible clothes there! So it was nice.
I left there as I wanted to see Christine one more time before she left Pune and this is where I have spent my time the past days. But first I have to tell you about the woman I met on the train. Her name is Chandra, from India and she shared some lovely stories of Yoga with me, she shared food with me and she shared about her family. She gave suggestions on where to study yoga and she was my "mother" while I was on that train, making sure I was safe and sound. She knew I had to get off the train at 2am and she made sure she was awake to make sure I got off the train and that she kept her eye on me until I was off the train. I felt her heart, she was beautiful and I was such in gratitude to meet her and share such special hours with her.
I got to Pune a week and a half ago to see Christine, I stayed at a friends house here in Pune and met up with Christine. We walked around what used to be a sweet,fairly quiet Koregeon Park where Osho's now Resort is. Well nothing quiet outside the gates of Osho's,it's crazy with cars and people now. I thought to not go in but would think about it.
Well I got sick again with a fever. Thankfully Christine's friends who are all part of an organization to take in homeless women and to give them shelter and train them in something where they can work and be empowered as self suffient women. Luckily they were there. Long story short I was in the so called "hospital", with 6 beds on a drip for my dysentary and they finally were able to tell me what I had-it's the same thing as last month. Some bacteria got in my blood and they call it a blood infection. Well what ever it was it's dead now. As much as I told them "no anti biotics" wellI got them anyway,they snuck them in when I slept, when I'd go to the toilet they'd put them in my drip. I'd tell them to change my drip bag but they'd still do it later. Well after two days I was all well, walked out with the bill of $36.00 for 2 days in the hospital! It was a fun experience and I'm grateful that bug is killed now!
I'm now at Osho's, yes I changed my mind and happy I did. Though my first day was intense starting at 5:30am and going to Dynamic Meditation at 6am, having a full on day of meditation, walking around, eating and meeting a new friend or two along the way and a few old ones! Did the Aum meditation that night and went to bed finally at 4am. Yes I was up a long time. a very long time. And if you don't know much about Osho's work, most all his meditations are active, sweaty and aerobic and full of dance. Well for someone who hasn't danced since Sivanda and never for hours out of a day you can say I was pooped! So I took my maroon robe off, washed it, hung it up to dry and rested the whole next day! Shew!!!!!
Now I'm used to the program. My lungs have been stretched, my heart has been worked, my calves are getting used to all the jumping around in the meditations and so I'm getting in shape as well as I can now hold my arms up for the full 10 minutes of the Who, who, who in Dynamic meditation! Very exciting! I think that first day I dripped out about 4 liters of water including the Aum meditation. It was intense and cathartic and grilling but very much worth it!
Being here I miss my lil' sis, Renee,who was here with me the last time. She and I traveled 3 months together in India and we shared a space for that whole time and now at Osho's the memories flood me-I miss you Renee. Now she's in San Francisco with husband and baby,taking care of life! And then there are a whole mess of other people I reflect on here that I made such deep connections with and just smile in gratitude. You know who you are, I miss you too!
So I'm enjoying my time here, yet it's not the same, not as warm hearted, not as connected. It's low season so very few people and the energy of the people is less connected but the meditative energy of the resort is still beautiful, fulfilling and grounding. I'm happy about that. I feel my mind focusing, finding and feeling stillness. It's having me crave Vipassana again- as they do a one hour vipassana each day! Nice memories. So I'll be here a few more days, but since there is a missing link some where in this space I feel I'll be leaving soon,possibly see my friends at the center- the friends that fed me at the hospital,made sure I didn't leave their place until I was fully well and made sure I was comfortable and fed.
These women took me out to their villages-I don't have the website now but I'll get it to you, they do fabulous work for these women in these villages. They have 3 or 4 villages, some for children, some for older people, some for not mentally functional and they take care of them all. These people were all so full of love, so giving, so generous and all heart. I got to see even deeper the true India here with these lovely people. No one wanted anything from me,just to say hello, offer food and show us their creativities and work. It was really mind blowing and heart opening to be with and near them. The real India behind the tourist areas.
So I can go on and on, but honestly I'm sure this is enough. I'm sure there is so much I've forgotten to tell you. But how can I put them in words and I don't have the 36 hours to sit here and write to you all that I have to share.
Know that I miss you,I love you and wish you a peaceful heart, loving friends and family all around you and plenty of laughter (I did a laughing meditation-wow, intense, hard at first but after a while it came out. So incredible! One hour of laughing, or a little less actually).
I'd so love to hear from you. Remember what Osho's says, which I'm trying to implement- speak from your heart. I love that line!
Much love and many hugs to you, Heather
Yes, I know it's been a while. I guess life has just taken me away. But you are never far from my thoughts. So I guess the last time I wrote was when I left Kerala. So let me back up to Mysore. Mysore was this great city that had an amazing Palace that they lit up with thousands of lights on Sunday nights.It was magical, breath taking, stunning and like a fairy tale castle at night. By day, well let me just say this, taking a walk around this place, I thought "Oh this will take an hour" well the glass ceilings, edges of the walls and ceiling that were painted with angels, birds, peacocks and designs just left me thrilled and after 3 hours of stairing upward toward the painted ceilings and the colored glass I was blown away and pooped! My chiropractor is going to love me-literally, as he tells me looking up is a good thing for the neck as we spend so much time looking down it screws up the spine.
But anyway, I met Christine, which I think I told you about and she made sure I did some touristy things, like going to ruins, temples, etc. Not my thing really but honestly after taking over 300 photos of all the tiny intricate details of these relics of shiva, shakti, and many other Gods and Goddesses, I was done with being a "tourist". We ran around a few cities, missed our last bus out and had to go to another city to get another bus to the city we needed,which is the same city we forgot to get off at early that day-I suggested we jump off the train as it had just started moving but she wasn't all that keen on it and if you knew how heavy my bag was you may not have jumped either-I'll be sending some of those 14 books and new clothes home soon!
But we got to the city we needed, had an incredible dinner for something like a dollar or two and then sat at the train station-almost took a "retiring room" which is a room with a bed in it. But instead I took my comfy yoga mat, threw it down on a bench, put my head in Christine's lap and rested. There was no sleep with all the loud speaker things being screached across the train station. So our train got in only a half hour late at something like 2:30am and we were off to Hampi.
Hampi, OH, Hampi. A town I LOVE. Did I say LOVE, yes LOVE. I felt at home there, I felt at peace there. It was lovely, no traffic, no horns,no cars to dodge. Just venders trying to sell you things but other than that peace, beauty and fresh air.
Sitting next to the river in the morning after my yoga practice I'd watch the locals come and bath in their shorts for men and full on saris for women. Then they'd do laundry by smacking the clothes against rocks and concrete of the steps. Then once a sari was washed they'd go and lift it up to dry some in the wind,just blowning in their arms. Then they'd lay it down on the concrete railings to dry in the sun. So colors were every where!
The little kids would run around naked brushing their teeth with their grand father trying to get them to bathe in the river. They'd finally get there. It was stunning.
Then there were the huge banana fields amongst all the brown desert with green bushes growing amongst all the dryness! There were a ton of ruins there, I spent a whole day by foot exploring and it was just glorious to be out on foot for the whole day, with the sky threatening to rain. But just before it was to rain a rickshaw driver with already 3 people in it stopped and did the most incredible thing. He told me to get in, he was going to Hampi. I asked "for free" he told me to get in, knowing I was going to get drenched and didn't charge me a thing. I was grateful! The kindness of these people at the perfect time just opens me, reminds me to trust and to really just be and I am fully taken care of in so many ways. How have you been taken care of this week? It's nice to look at and appreciate those moments. I've had many on this trip and I lay in gratitude for these people!
So I went shopping for gorgeous clothes in Hampi, first time I felt like shopping. I think it's because it had the Rajastan feel and they have the most incredible clothes there! So it was nice.
I left there as I wanted to see Christine one more time before she left Pune and this is where I have spent my time the past days. But first I have to tell you about the woman I met on the train. Her name is Chandra, from India and she shared some lovely stories of Yoga with me, she shared food with me and she shared about her family. She gave suggestions on where to study yoga and she was my "mother" while I was on that train, making sure I was safe and sound. She knew I had to get off the train at 2am and she made sure she was awake to make sure I got off the train and that she kept her eye on me until I was off the train. I felt her heart, she was beautiful and I was such in gratitude to meet her and share such special hours with her.
I got to Pune a week and a half ago to see Christine, I stayed at a friends house here in Pune and met up with Christine. We walked around what used to be a sweet,fairly quiet Koregeon Park where Osho's now Resort is. Well nothing quiet outside the gates of Osho's,it's crazy with cars and people now. I thought to not go in but would think about it.
Well I got sick again with a fever. Thankfully Christine's friends who are all part of an organization to take in homeless women and to give them shelter and train them in something where they can work and be empowered as self suffient women. Luckily they were there. Long story short I was in the so called "hospital", with 6 beds on a drip for my dysentary and they finally were able to tell me what I had-it's the same thing as last month. Some bacteria got in my blood and they call it a blood infection. Well what ever it was it's dead now. As much as I told them "no anti biotics" wellI got them anyway,they snuck them in when I slept, when I'd go to the toilet they'd put them in my drip. I'd tell them to change my drip bag but they'd still do it later. Well after two days I was all well, walked out with the bill of $36.00 for 2 days in the hospital! It was a fun experience and I'm grateful that bug is killed now!
I'm now at Osho's, yes I changed my mind and happy I did. Though my first day was intense starting at 5:30am and going to Dynamic Meditation at 6am, having a full on day of meditation, walking around, eating and meeting a new friend or two along the way and a few old ones! Did the Aum meditation that night and went to bed finally at 4am. Yes I was up a long time. a very long time. And if you don't know much about Osho's work, most all his meditations are active, sweaty and aerobic and full of dance. Well for someone who hasn't danced since Sivanda and never for hours out of a day you can say I was pooped! So I took my maroon robe off, washed it, hung it up to dry and rested the whole next day! Shew!!!!!
Now I'm used to the program. My lungs have been stretched, my heart has been worked, my calves are getting used to all the jumping around in the meditations and so I'm getting in shape as well as I can now hold my arms up for the full 10 minutes of the Who, who, who in Dynamic meditation! Very exciting! I think that first day I dripped out about 4 liters of water including the Aum meditation. It was intense and cathartic and grilling but very much worth it!
Being here I miss my lil' sis, Renee,who was here with me the last time. She and I traveled 3 months together in India and we shared a space for that whole time and now at Osho's the memories flood me-I miss you Renee. Now she's in San Francisco with husband and baby,taking care of life! And then there are a whole mess of other people I reflect on here that I made such deep connections with and just smile in gratitude. You know who you are, I miss you too!
So I'm enjoying my time here, yet it's not the same, not as warm hearted, not as connected. It's low season so very few people and the energy of the people is less connected but the meditative energy of the resort is still beautiful, fulfilling and grounding. I'm happy about that. I feel my mind focusing, finding and feeling stillness. It's having me crave Vipassana again- as they do a one hour vipassana each day! Nice memories. So I'll be here a few more days, but since there is a missing link some where in this space I feel I'll be leaving soon,possibly see my friends at the center- the friends that fed me at the hospital,made sure I didn't leave their place until I was fully well and made sure I was comfortable and fed.
These women took me out to their villages-I don't have the website now but I'll get it to you, they do fabulous work for these women in these villages. They have 3 or 4 villages, some for children, some for older people, some for not mentally functional and they take care of them all. These people were all so full of love, so giving, so generous and all heart. I got to see even deeper the true India here with these lovely people. No one wanted anything from me,just to say hello, offer food and show us their creativities and work. It was really mind blowing and heart opening to be with and near them. The real India behind the tourist areas.
So I can go on and on, but honestly I'm sure this is enough. I'm sure there is so much I've forgotten to tell you. But how can I put them in words and I don't have the 36 hours to sit here and write to you all that I have to share.
Know that I miss you,I love you and wish you a peaceful heart, loving friends and family all around you and plenty of laughter (I did a laughing meditation-wow, intense, hard at first but after a while it came out. So incredible! One hour of laughing, or a little less actually).
I'd so love to hear from you. Remember what Osho's says, which I'm trying to implement- speak from your heart. I love that line!
Much love and many hugs to you, Heather
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