Walking At Night

Walking At Night
Walking last night under the trees and the grey lit sky from the city lights, I watched the trees barely moving with the lightest of breeze. The smells awakened every sense in my nose, which then took that to my body. Though the night felt so very still, the air so quiet, I felt it’s aliveness, it’s breath breathing on me inside and out.

I looked down at the trail, seeing the cracks and crevaces, realizing they are so much like life…it’s starts here, twists and turns there, stops there, makes a U turn there and continues. Some places the cracks were deep and wet, others just barely showing and mostly dry.

I pondered these cracks….how my life has taken one form, then another, to another in careers, relationships, travel, countries, dreams, hiking trails, friendships and how sometimes I come back to visit a path again, I connect with it again, heal from it, get alivened by it just by being near it or on it again. Our lives take so many shapes, paths, breaths, but it’s all ours.

Which path will I take next is the real question? I’m opening, pondering, shifting my thoughts, opening my heart, asking questions, going within, and feeling the joy each day in life and feeling blessed, grateful and full-filled in who and what I am and have. I’m bringing in more pleasure in my life every day and say a prayer of thankfulness in that. Asking the Universe, how can I shine brighter today, what is my calling and which path will I be taking next?

Embracing my life, change, different thoughts, feelings and people into my life and where there once was fear, there is excitement now. For I no longer have to know all or be perfect like I felt I had to before, I can be me, in all my imperfections and though fear will come up, I can feel it and do it anyway. One step at a time, on my path, here I come.

Making money while getting a massage!

Hello there,
Yesterday I woke up in an odd internal space, trying to push myself to be creative, the things I "should" want to do. And then I let go. I focused my energy on "how can I be of service". I breathed in and out, sat with this for a moment and all of a sudden a list of things I needed to do came to me.

I knocked them out one by one. I got a phone call from this man who wanted to do a massage trade...ok, I'm used to this, but then he said something very different, "you give me an hour massage, I'll give you $50.00 and 1 1/4 hours massage as a trade". I was surprised at this...I repeated it to him, a bit surprised and he said "yes, that's it", since he is Korean and English is a second language I wanted to make sure of this. I thought a moment and said "let's meet first" as I only do trades with people I know.

We met up at a cafe, talked a bit, he is a accupuncturist and felt genuine. So whilst the trade was going on, I had this thought "I can make money and relax"...I was literally getting paid and getting a massage. And the massage was AMAZING.

On top of that, in the switching over, I booked another client, one I hadn't seen in a year, that I love to work on. So relax and the money will come was what I got from this experience yesterday. "Relax, the money will come". I love it.

Much bliss to you, Heather

Photos of us Dancing!

Moved & possibly on the Road

Hello there,
Wow, it's been since April since I've written, I had no idea. How are you? I hope life is going really great for you.

So let me see if I can scrunch 5 months into short note to you. In April I went into deep meditations and both times they told me to leave LA or get ready to leave LA June 1st. Well June first came and my roommate give his notice. Something in me told me "this is the sign". I first resisted it and then relaxed into it.

All in one day I found a subletter for my place, a house to live in in Santa Rosa (Northern Cali) and got a job there. Let me back up a little, at first I was going to get rid of my apartment but my landlord never got my notice, and subletting felt more relaxing to my heart. My apartment has been my home for 8 years. I love it.

So after a few more dance performances, the last one being 2 nights before I left-which was the best one I ever did. We showed up to dance to live music in this gorgeous church and the muscians tell us we'll be performing for 30-45 minutes. My dance partner had never done that, and I'd only done that in front of one of my friends once....I danced for 2.5 hours from him as a birthday present for him. It was a great performance, I brought out one of the muscians and played with him and the music and danced to it. The muscians were amazing, my dance partner too.

July 14th I drove out of LA, filled with love from friends of a great going away party and dance, the performance....left in a BANG.

I was wiped out, packed up my Sukhi girl, she'd never been in a car longer than an hour, but the drive up north was good, she did great, the great little puss just laid next to my thigh until she found a little cave to sleep in and that is where she stayed on our way up. I stayed with a friend in Mountain View, THANK GOODNESS. I just was so tired from packing, being emotional. Leaving my best friend was so hard and my home.

I got up to Santa Rosa and found that they have a Farmers Market with lots of music, dance and food every night of the week in a different town near by. Wow, that was great. Outside music and dancing and food, all within 20 minutes everyday. How wonderful.

My first weekend in the dance community I had a great connection with some people. A girlfriend was up from LA and we all went out for Indian food at the Farmers Market in Sebastopol, laying on a blanket, relaxing, touching, sharing. It was lovely.

Then we went to listen to live music else where. One man offered to us all to fix dinner at his place and we all went there, ate together, went in the jacuzzi. It was so filling for my soul. To be in such community.

The next weekend I will filled with community in Sausalito of food with dance people, movie, fixing food and sharing. It was great. I love this.

I got a job doing hair, my first "job" in 9.5 years, at first it was GREAT! Now it's a little hard. Taking tine off or actually wanting to choose my days off isn't going so well.

My great housing situation went from being, I LOVE THIS HOUSE, still do, but the roommates not so great. I realized shortly into it I was living with an alcoholic, smokers, TV addicts that slept with the TV on, which I couldn't sleep through and not so healthy people. Plus the last few days of living there I realize they were going to start growing pot in the basement. No thank you. So I moved out Sept 1st.

A few things have happened and I've thought...maybe it's time to be on the road, Ashland, OR is calling me. The idea of buying a van and going across country getting a job here and there, writing, sewing, reading and being free sounds great to my soul.

But then the other option is a friend of mine and I are considering starting a community home. So that is another options. More options coming my way are to keep my apartment in LA or not? I love it, my subletters are moving out Oct 1st. I'll see. It's all good. It's good to sit with these things, feel them out and go from intuition with it.

I'm loving the hiking here in Northern Cali. I am living in Fairfax with a friend of mine. Deer in my backyard, little birds and animals here and there. Sukhi is loving this house, running all over loving the space. She and I were having a great moment today of me loving on her and her purrring away, I was loving it, feeling very mommilike. Loving her purr and smelling her.

The smell of nature is making me very happy and all the differences of life here. So many amazing things going on, but I'll save more for later.

May this life be treating you so beautiful. Know that we only live in the body once, see what we can do today that makes living really worth living today.

Today I took a great hike and writing this makes living really a great place for me. I love writing...it feels so good. I love catching up with you.

I'd love to hear from you. Sending you so much love and many hugs, Heather
Bliss to you!

In My Element!

Hello there,
Wow, has it already been over 3 months since I have written...man oh man, time flies and so much has happened in that short time.
Firstly, how are you? How is life? Is your heart living out loud and soul beaming from the inside out?

About two months ago I got this amazing massage client that through just listening to him, his life, his experience I got something huge about myself. And I want to share it as it has changed my life...maybe it can help you and others in your life too. I love being inspired and I love to inspire people to live life fully. I know how hard it can be when we get in that rut. But once we commit to doing it anyway...the stuff that is scary then it gets easier to do it next time and so on.

What I got out of talking with this lovely man, was he follows his heart, if it doesn't want to do something, he doesn't do it. I realized that the past few years of my career, I stopped only doing what I wanted, and started feeling obligated to do things-take late appts, or on my day off or deal with energies that weren't healthy for me. The words that came to me was "to thine own self be true". I must say it to myself everyday. How am I being true of not true to myself right now and how can I change it or embrace it more? It's been a lovely journey. Not always easy. But amazing. It so amazing to feel proud of yourself, and I do, I feel proud of myself.

I've put this into play in so many areas of my life, not allowing things to happen or do things I don't want to, or doing things, when I'm tired because I know I really do want to and not letting the mind or body to change what I wanted to do and allow myself to be inspired to do things I really do want to do. Like the other night, a friend was having a birthday party, I was tired, didn't want to leave home, but then I realized, "I love this woman, I want to be there, tired or not". I got in my car and I went. I am so happy I went, as it was honoring the true desire and not the temporary want.

My commitment for this year was to make my life about dance, create an income from dance, perform and facilitate classes. My intention I got was I want to do workshops all over the world, travel with my work, as well as make dance clothes, write more and a few things are brewing within as well.

Thus far this year has proven to hear and act upon my intention. Just last month, 3rd month of the new year I started my own ecstatic dance class. I call it The Ecstatic Soul! Ecstatic Dance for the Soul! My gift to this work and to the world is to create community through connection. To play, to honor the child within and be where you are fully within yourself. If that means you need to curl up in a ball, so be it, if you want to be wild or dance with another, honor where your soul is at. So that is my intention for my work.

I'm loving promoting it and putting it out there as it feels so right for me, my soul. There is no shyness around it, it's what I'm to be doing, I feel it. And my classes, though only 2 thus far(this year), are getting better and it feel so natural, in my element.

In these 2 classes I have learned so much about myself. I have seen where in the past that I have tried to teach "like that person, or that teacher", but it didn't feel right. So now, I'm realizing what my thing is, it's being me, in my laughter, joy or being inward...dancing with all or going in deeply and being with me, even while teaching. I see that there isn't any other way to teach but this way. As all other ways are not mine, they are others...and they are already out there, so why be another "them", the Universe already has them, the Universe is asking me to be "ME" and it's amazing and so very easy to just be me, instead of being someone else. My goodness, what a concept. You mean all I have to do is be me? That's it! Wow, that's beautiful. I'll do it, and I'm doing and being me...it feels so free.

It was only 24 years ago when I heard myself say "I want to play my own music to dance too. To be a DJ". Well that wish has come true. I'm so thrilled by this. I bought the DJ music, I'm getting to know it. I'm looking at speakers...I'm organizing my music and thrilled to be on my path. I get to do something I love everyday, listen to music. That's a beautiful thing. And then 3 times a month I get to facilitate my class and give people a new place to dance, connect in and with others. I feel like I'm giving something that I've been wanting to give for years now.

On top of this, in January I talked to this man who is a professional dancer about doing a performance group, he announced it to a dance class 3 days later. 5 weeks ago we started teaching together and May 1st and 2nd we are performing the peice we have been working on. I've been stretched through this and learned a lot about myself, teaching with other, how to put together a performance peice and thrilled that he loved my ideas so much that my ideas are the basis for the whole performance.

Here I've never taught a performance group, nor taught with another person for a whole series or put together a performance peice with people that are doing the work we are creating together. Wow. And now performing again. I see life presenting me exactly what I am wanting and asking for. And I'm feeling really blessed by all of this. I love how we can create our reality. We just need to make sure our soul is aligned with what we are asking for.

Last month I started training in RC CoCounseling. It's powerful and really healing work. Here I've been feeling the past 7-10 months I've been coming into myself, letting of things on a rapid pace and loving my life more and more and healing so many things within. And now...with RC it's just boosted things up a notch or two. It's a process of learning how to listen, not to interrupt, but possibly coach the person, if they want it, and to fully be LISTENED to! Do you know how healing that is...I didn't realize how healing it was until this work. It's powerful. I highly recommend it for anyone out there who wants to learn how to just listen and to give yourself the gift of being listened to, hearing yourself speak about the things you appreciate about yourself, the good things of childhood and then all the other stuff, always starting out with some good things, to see the good in my life and then going into everything else. So we can see what the good stuff is. It's miraculous!

I just went on a trip up to my old stomping grounds in Santa Rosa, I lived there 11 years ago for 5.5 years. I never remembered it being so green. It was gorgeous and glorious. My best friend, Rob, and I went up to be filmed dancing in nature by a friend of ours. But because of circumstances we had to film inside mostly. But we got some amazing footage.

It was an awesome trip full of dancing with new people, sharing time with new friends, hiking, being filmed dancing and just opening my mind to the possibility of...huummmmm...could I live here again? Not sure. But I certainly love that they have a dance community up there now and I see how I can bring my gift there as well. So nice to feel that and get out of town.

Ok, that is probably enough for now. I have attached my flier, so you can read on a little of what I'm doing, or you can go to my website for more info: www.theecstaticbody.com and to see the creation of my flier. It was so much fun to make.

I know life is busy, but I'd love to hear from you. Even if it was a line saying how you are doing.
Sending you love and bliss, Heather

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Hello there my Sweet Friends,
I know it's been a while since you have heard from me. Much has been going on. How are you? How your dance, called life, on this planet we call earth? I trust your heart, health, mind and spirit are well. I'd love to hear from you.

I thought I'd give you a brief outline of my 2009, since it's been over 6 months since you've heard from me. But I'll start at the beginning. The highlights of 2009 were:
-I started out the year very abundant.
-I got stitches in my finger from a deep cut from a mirror. First stitches since childhood, but only the first of 2 sets of stitches for the year.
-I fell in love, I mean, head over heals in love, wildly and passionately. More about that later.
-I taught Aerial Contact in my home for 6 months- which is teaching people how to lift people into the air while dancing.
-I took my first Contact Improv Classes. I figured I'm teaching my version of Contact, I might as well see what Contact Improv is...it was nice to take some workshops and classes and learn how others teach this work.
-I was gifted a surgery that I had postponed doing for 11 years-second set of stitches.
-10 weeks after surgery I performed a dance peice I created to a paying audience.
-I started regularly doing Scar Tissue and Lymphatic Massage on clients and being able to teach them this work to support their health.
-Hit the big 40!
-One of the things I'm very excited about is that I taught my first Ecstatic Dance class and it was a great success with many people asking for the next one!
-I started back with my meditation practice and studying Buddhism, which is making me very happy, balanced and feeling so much more well rounded internally.

I have made some powerful intentions this year and I'm very excited about them. Just to share a few:
One is to support myself through my art of dance, sewing, performing, creativity and facilitating classes.
Opening to be with my life partner.
Heal and empower myself more in all areas of my life. I love that work Empower.
Spend more time in nature
Possibly start my journey to South America.

This past year has been a good one, full of newness, love, passion, big AH HA'S and scariness of decisions. But it was a great year for growth and perspective.

Falling in love was the most amazing thing of this year. Funny how you sometimes your don't know you are in love until after it's over. As beautiful, passionate, fun and alive as it was, sometimes self caring is the more important thing. The biggest lesson was that sometimes to get what you want (the end goal), you have to choose the opposite of that in the moment to get it in the future.

Mine was realizing this man had just gotten out of a 10 year relationship, 1 week before we met (I didn't know that for 2-3 months, I thought it had been 3 months-wordage is a funny thing), and 4 months into being with him, he had taken me to his town, introducing me to everyone he knew. I realized he needed to be a free man and I needed to care for myself by getting out of it, as I wasn't getting what I needed. So good to know what you need, ask for it and then honor it. It doesn't always look like it's what you want but it truly is...to love the self.

And then in August I gave birth to a fibroid the size of a 4 month old fetus. Ok ok, not a birth, but a surgery, a surgery that is the same as giving birth surgically, meaning it wasn't a natural birth.

Back 11 years ago, a doctor told me I had fibroids in my uterus and immediately wanted to take me into surgery. I was not having any of that. I realized I didn't believe in surgery. I got in touch with why the fibroids were there. I did a number of things, that honestly looking back at it is the most funny thing and would make a great one woman show if I shared with you all the craziness that I did to rid them of my body, any where from having my lover pouring olive oil up me, to taking disgusting tasting herbs, rubbing all kinds of things on my body, taking hormones that at first caused me extreme bliss, to suicidal thoughts. Yikes!

The pain got worse, I wasn't able to dance as well. I felt as if I had HUGE testicles on the inside of my belly bouncing around. Very unsexy.

It was pretty profound how it all happened. I thought about surgery, told a friend about is, she saw this info where I could get the exact surgery I needed and Voila! Within 4-5 weeks I was in surgery. It was scariest and hardest thing I ever had to decide in my life. But I had such amazing support and so much love around me. All that, on top of being at one of the top hospitals, with one of the best doctors, all for free-that doesn't happen often in the US. So I felt very taken care of and healing was great. I have the whole thing documented on video, my friend will be publishing it for scar tissue massage, which I am now doing.

I am actually considering putting together an organization now to support women through surgeries. No woman or man for that matter should go alone. I am so grateful I had people all around me, laying in bed with me all day the first day out. So healing. I learned so much through this and would love to give my wisdom on this subject to others.

Anyway, 10 weeks after surgery I performed to my first paying audience. Which was a blast. I got to put together my own work, I designed, dyed and sewed my own outfit for it. Everyone involved were amazing dancers.

OH, on top of that I turned 40 this year, yes, that is right, I'm 40! The best shape in my life, very strong, fit and full of life, energy and dancin' my bootie off. I've been wanting to be 40 since I was 16 years old, so I'm happy for this. I know this decade is going to be amazing.

In December I put on, as my birthday gift for me, and ecstatic dance class. It was amazing, so much fun. I got some great feedback and reviews. I am planning on my next class, I want to do something more regular. There is something amazing about giving people a space to dance to great music. What magic happens!

In December I went back to Meditation classes and sits, it's been amazing. I am loving it.

I have tons already in the fires starting for next month. I'll share those later.
I look forward to hearing from you. I'd love to catch up.
I'd love to hear your high lights from last year and if you have any intentions for this year.
Much love, Heather.

My Clothes Designs!

I have been a busy little bee sewing recently and LOVING it! So I thought I'd share some of my creations with you.
I went to dance in a pair of my pants this last weekend and I had at least 4 people want to buy my pants off of me and one even wants me to make a pair specifically with material he has. This thrills me!
I get to be creative, have fun and clothes people with nice things!
HAPPY NEW YEAR! May all your dreams come true! Love and Blissings, Heather