Hospitals, Yoga and Challenges!!!! ; )

Dearest Ones,

Wow, wow, wow, the ups and downs of India! Everyday there are challenges and beauty. I see the beauty in the Indian faces I pass by more and more. I am staying in Varkala right now it's been over 2 weeks now. It's been a crazy time. I showed up with two glorious gals from Sivananda Ashram. The connection was gorgeous! I taught a few yoga classes while they were here and then I've taught a few others to some locals-my landlords, which was great they were open to it!

The coconut trees, the ocean and air just lulls me to sleep at night and swings me into restful state in my hammock by day. One of my landlords wants me to stay here, teach yoga, do hair cuts and teach dance to the tourists, as high season starts in a month here. It is very tempting, I could actually make quite the salary here but I'm not sure, so I'll live in the moment and see what happens. It's great to have options!

So since I've been in Varkala I've been to a few hospitals some are Ayurveda and Siddha healing centers and some are medical hospitals. Let me tell you if you ever need to get some treatment done, this is the place to do it, they are good and really cheap. I went in for a ultra sound for the fibroids and the whole thing with check up was $12.00 and they checked all my organs inside as well-liver, kidneys, spleen etc. So it was very thorough as well as they were so gentle, much more gentle then in the US-which for me was very traumatic to my body. I know what I am dealing with now, I am knowing my options, if I need surgery I know it's cheap- only $1000.00 but I really am looking for natural cures which I'm finding step by step!!!

I was so happy that a woman, Marie came with me with my landlord to the hospital for support, they were incredible waiting for me and just being there in the city of Trivandrum-the capital of Kerala. OH, something you may want to know, Kerala is the only place that has been voted in a communist state (I think in the world, not sure though), and it's the richest state in all of India. It is also half Christian here, a lot of Muslims and then Hindus. There are some fights between them, like some Hindus mades some commotion with some Muslims and got them thrown in jail and as they were in jail they went to their restaurant-which is all open air, not a 4 walled place, like most places here, and they threw all their things over the cliff into the ocean-television and all-pretty crazy, so now it's time for them to start redecorating again, now out of jail.

I went to a Siddha/Ayurveda hospital, they claim to be able to heal everything but 1st stage Diabetes and so I start the medicine tomorrow. I went 2 weeks ago and got the medicine but I got a fever for 3 evenings-crazy thing as I haven't had a fever in ages and I was hallucinating and thinking of things I hadn't thought of in years going in and out of consciousness. But luckily only a little cough is left. I am back to yoga and ready to start the Siddha medicine. I'm excited about all the options I'm finding-this world is truly fascinating, when you ask and open it brings a plentiful and variety of options. It's not always easy but it is truly wild what it brings and shows you. Especially with all the challenges of India on top of things.

I was just talking to my gorgeous freind Helene this morning about how people come to India and we are tested like crazy, from the dirty toilets, to the "the train will be here in 30 minutes" and it comes in 2 hours, to them saying maybe which means definately, to the head wobble from side to side (ear to ear) which means "maybe/yes", to the not being able to use a credit card as they can't get the phone line to work, to going to order a chai and since the cook is having breakfast you have to wait for them to finish first-you really get to see it's not all about "me" any more, it's about the whole, about people, about patience and being relaxed at all times, not being in a hurry or eating when they want you to eat at your hotel and not eating when you want to eat. The tests are here everyday but it's fun too.

Last night I went out with some girls for chai, one being my friend Helene from Australia (which I'll see once I am there!!! YES!), and it had been raining and I got up to go to the toilet. Let me say when it rains here it pours down so much the soil can't hold it so it causes huge puddles. The toilet it basically outside but with a door. I stepped into the toilet and walked up to the toilet and there was this deep puddle and I slipped and fell into this big puddle of water. At first it's like, "yikes, what am I laying in" as I get up, then it's they choice to get mad or laugh or both? So then I brushed myself off, went pee and laughed at it a moment later, thinking what a funny thing life, fall down, get back up and brush yourself off. Do we laugh or get mad? Sometimes I do both.

The Universe has been testing me lately. It's put me in this gorgeous place, with amazing healthy and loving dogs-that I've come an aunt to 4 pups lately, but then it puts me alone and then with people non stop, then all the 3 way friendships of how everyone interacts, one moment two talks, ones silent, 2 go off together, one is left alone, all the emotions that come up with it all. All the lack of communication when it would be so easy just to say/write "I'm going off to the beach see you later". I sometimes feel I come from a different planet. As I leave notes for people saying where I am and when I'm coming back-I guess my moms down home training is still in me, but others not being that way and being left dangling, it's a huge lesson, one of letting go of what I am used to.

Since when did we all become so independent, feeling like we don't need each other, feeling that we don't need to say something to another? I don't know, I sometimes feel like an alien, but it's ok, it just shows my differences, but I like that I'm this way. Talk about testing self acceptance, everyday there is another test in it. I know I've gotten quite independent at home and don't feel a need to explain where I am, but here I am starting to go back to my childhood, feeling it more powerfully and liking it as it seems much more human.

Here the Indians are always asking "where are you going? What are you doing? What's in the bag?" It comes across as nosy but at least they are interested, and sometimes it's irritating, but other times it feels so connected and human. So the tests go on. So some things to ponder, how are you in 3 way friendships-comfortable, uncomfortable, how do you respond to them? Where are you at with telling people where you will be? Does it feel like checking in with a parent or like freedom? How is your heart with change and difference with others? How are you challenged with the differences and the samenesses of others?

So here I am, healing, researching healing, growing, resisting, letting go, pushing, pulling, relaxing, straining and hopefully growing from all of it. Relaxing in the flow-hopefully anyway. Trying to let go of the future, the plans, the monkey mind that keeps chattering. But happy to feel how lucky I am to be here right now and feel grateful in life, even with all the challenges. How do you face challenges and the chattering inside?

I am learning to let all my sides come out lately. I'm not always comfortable with hanging out in 3 ways friendships, but lately I'm learning more and more to make people laugh and finding that the laughter really supports everyone. The two people I've been hanging out with here has commented on how everyone is so serious and how nice and refreshing it is to have me laughing and making them laugh-the feels so wonderful to know I can make them laugh. It is a balance to my serious side!!! ; ) Thank goodness!

Oh, I have to share a drink with you, take water, ginger and lemon and put them in a blender, mix them with some honey, strain it and drink it, it feels like pure energy and aliveness going down. I love this drink, it's not the same just squeezing it into a cup. It's so simple and yummy!

Another crazy thing happening here, there is a woman at the place next door, this is so India, her flight to Bombay is at 3:45am, she gets to the airport the first night, "sorry you are not on this list so you can't go as it's full", next day she spends the day trying to get a flight to Bombay, she gets some sleep, the next night she goes back, "sorry, it will be late and you will miss your flight to Paris so you might as well not go", she missed it again last night, I'm not sure why but I think this is India telling her not to go as she doesn't want to go. These are the crazy things of India.

Once India has you she doesn't want to let you go. I know when I had to leave India the first time-and I had to as my visa was to expire, I left and then cried and made myself sick wanting to come back. It's as if she gets right into your heart and doesn't want to let you go. Even as hard as it is at times, you are never the same and you always want to come back.

I'm have finally got a cell phone number here!!!! I'm so happy to be able to have some freedom to call places without having to look for a call box, and I feel blessed to be recieving phone calls from friends, so if you are interested in giving me a shout, my Indian cell phone number is 9995569611, if it's from the US you need to dial 011-91 first and then the number from what I've been told.

Ok loves, take care, I miss and love you. I send you hugs. Let me know how you are and what is up and new with you? May your heart be wrapped in a blanket of the softest love and lay upon a pillow of comfort, beauty and safety from within. Everyday we must learn to have self love and acceptance, enjoy the journey and know you are not alone. Your pain is all of our pain, as none of us have a pain someone can't relate too, even if it's different, we are all connected. Your joy is everyones joy, so lets share who we are in full-with all of our emotions, pain, laughter, etc. Love and bliss to you, Heather