Hello there loves,
How are ya? What's up and new in your world? How is everyone? I keep hearing about the brush fires out there, I hope all is well? I have been in OZ now for 1 week, jetlagged, in culture shock but here. Man oh man it's so different from Asia and so very the same as the US. I'd say Sydney is Los Angeles, San Francisco, Portland,OR and Seattle all mixed together!
The first few days I just wanted to go home, and still have those urges. I miss everyone. But now I get why I crave home, I'm used to working when I'm in western like places. Plus with the dollar plummeting it's more expensive then the US. We need to get that US Dollar back up there!!!! You work on it ok!!! : ) So I'll be finding volunteer work or work soon-actually made my first $25.00 yesterday in doing a haircut at a hostel! It was great to be around that atmosphere!
At present I am staying in North Sydney in Dee Why-kind of sounds like Dee Way but it's the accent, it is Dee Why. I am at Kristi's and Beenies place and it's lovely, so gorgeous, decorated in things they have collected on their world journeys, just stunning. Beenie, my friend isn't here but Kristi has been lovely to be with and around, intruding me to her friends and taking me to BBQ's and tonight we will be having a girls night in of food and possibly massages! She has been great!
She and I are off to the Blue Mountains this weekend to get away, get some rest from the city craziness-which I find it's beautiful but not for me. I really get I am so not a city person. We will be going up to her family's home and then hike in the Blue Mountains. I'll get to meet some more of her family up there this weekend which will be nice.
I have to say it will be interesting how I'll fit in to everything here in the way that they love to drink and smoke here and if they are doing it they love to talk about it or they talk about it as they do it. And I don't do either so it will be a great witnessing sport!
Ozzies are so friendly! You are never really alone, if you reach out and talk to someone they talk back, every once in a while surprised but so open to chatting and telling you anything and everything, it's so lovely! And sometimes they start the conversation which is so beautiful! I've hiked to the next beach over, met some terrific people on the way over, got caught in a bit of a rain storm on the way back but not too bad.
Oh the weather, I thought I was coming to Sunny Sydney where it would be warm, well just think of San Francisco for weather here, sometimes gorgeous but other times freezing. My first two days I couldn't get warm. But we've had some stunning days of blue skies and lovely beach weather to go walking in! The beaches are stunning.
Say on another note there are elections going on here and since everyone is talking about them and the TV is non stop talking about the US, I was wondering does anyone know for sure is Hillary Clinton running next year or not? I haven't heard for sure and everyone out here seems to be pro Hillary, which I think is great! What a lovely idea, perfect timing to get Bush out, if he doesn't try any tricks, we'll see AND finally have a woman in office! I'd vote for her!
So I got to the city and after wandering around the Harbour with all the boats and all I got to the Opera house at sunset. What a stunning sight! Something I've wanted to see for years. It's like two things happen, I fell in love with her and I could see her for what she was, just a structure. But what a fabulous structure, and after about 25-35 photos of her, walking across the bridge and just taking in her gorgeous archetecture I got home at night. The city lights were grand and the harbour with all the boats, lights, buildings, all of it just breath takingly beautiful!
I'm adjusting to all the accents, all a little different yet all Ozzie. Then all the shortening of words, they don't seem to like words that are long or if they can shorten them they do. It's funny but not to easy for the new comer.
I was talking to Rob from home the other day and had a great memory of India that I just had to share. I remembered watching the cows walking around and seeing their tails go back and forth and I got that they use their tails as shit wipers, to spread the crap from one side to the other side of their butts, as they also hit you with them as well. I laughed so hard remembering that.
Anyway, soon I'll be looking for some work either in hair or wwoofing-organic farming, I volunteer my time on the farm for free room and board! I'd love to work in the gardens and with cows. I miss my cows. I want to milk a cow! YES that would be fun! Maybe also find some work in a hostel up north and get some hiking in.
I've been really getting in touch with why I am here. I just wonder sometimes why I am where I am at this place or that place. Especially when I'm craving to be creative-painting, singing, dancing, ceramics, and batiking. I think I'll be buying a song book soon to learn some new songs, I am craving to sing, hopefully in front of people one day. I'm really getting in touch with what I want to do with my life more and more on this trip. So I'm happy abut this. But as far as being here I know I'm here to hike, to get to know the people, to see if one day I'd want to live here, create a retreat center, teach movement, see if I can do anything with singing or dance, etc. I'll see what the Universe has in store.
One great thing that maybe coming through is there is a book I started writing last year and wanted to continue it here in OZ with Beenie. I just had a woman in LA email me interested in possibly making this dream a reality of making it a movie, as that is how I've always seen it, I'll see what happens. I'd be thrilled to see this happen.
Ok, that is all for now. I send you all hugs, let your hearts fly high! Listen and it will tell you what you need to do next. Much love, Heather
PS. Oh, the OZZIES love the word Absolutely! It's great and such a lovely positive word, just like them.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Last letter from Asia for Now!
Hello loves,
Well my last days here in Thailand has been incredible, all the wonderful food, smiles and loving way I watched a few people prepare my food with so much love I could taste it!!!!
I love watching the way the Thai people are, so soft, passive and non violent. Even in the way they drive, no horns unless really needed. If someone stops to get some food and double parks, no need for horns, just wait or move around. No yelling, screaming, anger, nothing, just a fact. What a great way to live, very Buddhist if you ask me. LA could take some lessons. I just love watching them.
I met a guy in a shop the other night that just let me watch him batik, he was so amazing. I wouldn't mind studying with him. Well especially his teacher, but he died in a motorbike accident. But his teacher did things I've never seen done with batik. But watching this guy the other night I was just mesmorized by him, the way he did his work and fixed it with such easea and so quick. I love batiking. The creative bug really wants to come out more and more.
I noticed the other day that the pack of cigarettes here actually have something interesting on them. I can't imagine this in the west but since I don't smoke I don't know. They actually have photos have bad lungs, organs, lips with holes in them and all kinds of not so fun things that happen to ya when you smoke. And then the photos of the parents smoking around kids too. I guess they are cracking down.
So I'm getting on the airport shuttle in an hour for the airport. It's raining so I'm in here with you. Not knowing when I'll get to write again. I really love sharing with you. I really got in touch with why I was so sad over losing the photos, besides the physical memories, was because I am not able to share them with you. I just love sharing. I really wanted to send them too you, but instead you have my descriptions. Plus if I ever do make a book on this, who knows how they could have helped. Yes, I said book!!!! Fun fun, one of these days I will get a book out and actually it's in my chart that I will publish a book, and easily it says. Don't know how that reads out but that's what they say!
Ok, well I'm off for now. I miss you a ton and love you lots. I send you huge hugs!
Oh I'll leave you with this, a yoga teacher said it once, "Freedom is not doing everything you want, but being in control of your mind to do what you need" Something like that. I really like that quotes, keeps everything balanced some how.
Ok, love to you, Heather
Well my last days here in Thailand has been incredible, all the wonderful food, smiles and loving way I watched a few people prepare my food with so much love I could taste it!!!!
I love watching the way the Thai people are, so soft, passive and non violent. Even in the way they drive, no horns unless really needed. If someone stops to get some food and double parks, no need for horns, just wait or move around. No yelling, screaming, anger, nothing, just a fact. What a great way to live, very Buddhist if you ask me. LA could take some lessons. I just love watching them.
I met a guy in a shop the other night that just let me watch him batik, he was so amazing. I wouldn't mind studying with him. Well especially his teacher, but he died in a motorbike accident. But his teacher did things I've never seen done with batik. But watching this guy the other night I was just mesmorized by him, the way he did his work and fixed it with such easea and so quick. I love batiking. The creative bug really wants to come out more and more.
I noticed the other day that the pack of cigarettes here actually have something interesting on them. I can't imagine this in the west but since I don't smoke I don't know. They actually have photos have bad lungs, organs, lips with holes in them and all kinds of not so fun things that happen to ya when you smoke. And then the photos of the parents smoking around kids too. I guess they are cracking down.
So I'm getting on the airport shuttle in an hour for the airport. It's raining so I'm in here with you. Not knowing when I'll get to write again. I really love sharing with you. I really got in touch with why I was so sad over losing the photos, besides the physical memories, was because I am not able to share them with you. I just love sharing. I really wanted to send them too you, but instead you have my descriptions. Plus if I ever do make a book on this, who knows how they could have helped. Yes, I said book!!!! Fun fun, one of these days I will get a book out and actually it's in my chart that I will publish a book, and easily it says. Don't know how that reads out but that's what they say!
Ok, well I'm off for now. I miss you a ton and love you lots. I send you huge hugs!
Oh I'll leave you with this, a yoga teacher said it once, "Freedom is not doing everything you want, but being in control of your mind to do what you need" Something like that. I really like that quotes, keeps everything balanced some how.
Ok, love to you, Heather
...For Heather
This is a gorgeous poem from a friend that I will keep annonomous for now, you know who you are my love! Thank you, you took my breath away. She wrote this back in May for me and I'm finally posting it. Much love, Heather
There are women who never meet...who have the same dream of distance,
the
same language running parallel with the same speed which does not
change...they circle the earth raised by distance into the sky and pass
each
other, touching everything, as if it was simple geography or patterned
roads
moving slowly from their eyes to their hands....they lay awake at night
speaking to ghost stars and gaining wisdom from coral locomotives with
lions
feet....windows with a million and one homes to miss... having violet
avenues running like doves in their veins a merging of voices in a
procession dour with tambourines...and this procession, this merging of
voices with their little pink hearts un-caged, enter softly, our
doorways
like paper doves...and these woman...THIS woman that I know...she comes
beautiful, to me, in the moments between work and life...where all her
victories swallow red ribbons and kiss each other to death and dress in
white against her good heart... the shape of ivory hidden beneath a red
star... though right now, I imagine, she is sleeping.... somewhere on
the
shores of a land with invisible winters she is sleeping..... tomorrow's
sun
hanging it's lips just about a mile above "Grand Central
Station"...where
she will wake...and follow the clumsy grey fingers of geography until
she is
home... and I wonder if she is somewhere catching tigers in red
weather,
where a loud pulse of feet and hands fill the streets...I wonder if her
movements are still drinking fame through a camera like jealous
stars...I
wonder if she knows her little hands are missed
...you know....I still hold her, here, like a flower... just in case
she
didn't know....
There are women who never meet...who have the same dream of distance,
the
same language running parallel with the same speed which does not
change...they circle the earth raised by distance into the sky and pass
each
other, touching everything, as if it was simple geography or patterned
roads
moving slowly from their eyes to their hands....they lay awake at night
speaking to ghost stars and gaining wisdom from coral locomotives with
lions
feet....windows with a million and one homes to miss... having violet
avenues running like doves in their veins a merging of voices in a
procession dour with tambourines...and this procession, this merging of
voices with their little pink hearts un-caged, enter softly, our
doorways
like paper doves...and these woman...THIS woman that I know...she comes
beautiful, to me, in the moments between work and life...where all her
victories swallow red ribbons and kiss each other to death and dress in
white against her good heart... the shape of ivory hidden beneath a red
star... though right now, I imagine, she is sleeping.... somewhere on
the
shores of a land with invisible winters she is sleeping..... tomorrow's
sun
hanging it's lips just about a mile above "Grand Central
Station"...where
she will wake...and follow the clumsy grey fingers of geography until
she is
home... and I wonder if she is somewhere catching tigers in red
weather,
where a loud pulse of feet and hands fill the streets...I wonder if her
movements are still drinking fame through a camera like jealous
stars...I
wonder if she knows her little hands are missed
...you know....I still hold her, here, like a flower... just in case
she
didn't know....
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Counting down now for OZ!!!!
Hello my sweet Beloved Ones,
Wow, Thailand has been a beautiful recovery place from the third world of India. But honestly I miss India a ton. I love the dirt, the craziness of it all. I mostly miss Rishekesh, the people I met there, my great yoga teacher there, CHAI, the river and chanting on it and my chai place as well as my samosa place. It's a special place India. As nice as it is to have a clean toilet here, India is in my blood and will never leave. It's a passion inside of me. I look forward to my next trip there.
Yet I'm thrilled to be going to OZ, man oh man, a dream come true. It's coming true. Only 1.5 days left and I'll be on Australian soil. I'll be being picked up by my friends fiance, as he was wisked off to England for a family illness for 5 weeks, but I'll see him later. It gives me and his fiance a chance to get to know each other. So sweet to still be able to stay with her! What I'm actually surprisingly excited about is to get a job-doing hair or in a hostel, how fun to do some work and to play. It's a good way to get to know people as well.
But on the now point, I have met with so many authentic smiles here in Thailand this time. I think my attitude has calmed and changed as I am loving the people this time around and getting their hearts again. Pretty amazing how change your mind and everyone seems different.
I left Bangkok for Ko Phangan, well to say the least, I really missed Bangkok, I love that city. As much as I love the ocean, Ko Phangan is crazy now, even in wild and wet season. Everything turned moldy within 2 days and I think I was soggy inside and out. My bones were cold. So 4 days was one day too much, but thankfully I'm here in dryer and definately warmer Phuket where I am grateful to be. I am eating at the local eateries with all Thai people for less then a dollar for a meal, catching up on a million emails I've some how lost track of, trying to find a good dentist here to get a cleaning and just getting ready for my next leg of my journey.
Yesterday was a crazy day, my 7 hour travel day with a 2 hour break to go to the dentist didn't quite happen as planned. I got the boat at 7am and then bus to Surat Thani, was supposed to leave at 11:00am for Phuket or go to the Dentist and go on the 2pm bus. It was pouring so I chose to do the dentistry in Phuket. Well the very slow, 60 year old primping bus driver was 1 1/2 hours late picking us up, looking in the mirror making sure his hair was good or running his fingers through it, stopping one other place for no reason and then taking off-in which I had plenty of time to go to the dentist, oh well. Well on the way he picked up fish for his family, went shopping, dropped his stuff off at his family and then refused to drop us any where but some where in the middle of where we didn't know where we were and wouldn't tell us! I love traveling I do, it just cracks me up. My western mind was just a little baffled by all the things he did for himself along the way, making it a 12 hour jouney instead. I was wiped out!
But I'm happy to be here, in a great little place with a real mattress and a working fan that has high medium and low and a sink and a wooden couch! Very nice for $6.00 a night. Better enjoy this now, OZ won't be so cheap. A little scary going west now, yikes! No cows in the streets-which I miss terribly! No monkies to come bug me or eat from my hands. Yet lots of things that can kill ya-box jelly fish and sharks and spiders that look like they are steel. But mostly these are rare or only in seasons.
On top of being thrilled about being thrilled about OZ, Rob, from home, and I are planning our trip for NZ as well for Dec-January and I'm just so excited to be there in nature as well. We will go to a B&B first which the photos are incredible. If you know of any great places around Christchurch let me know as that's where we will be flying into.
I am loving being here having chocolate milk-yikes! My Thailand addiction. Mango Sticky rice and now I've gone off soymilk, it makes me spit up. Not that you needed to know that but it's the truth!
Oh, my in the skin dirty feet from India are gone. The beach cleaned them and my toe nails are actually white for the first time in 6 months. It's so nice to see the actual color of my feet, so nice. I love sand and beach water!
Ok I can go on and on, you know me. But I'm doing great, life is thrilling and always changing. So tomorrow at 10pm I'll be off to Sydney, for now I'm just enjoying this town of Phuket-it's "Poo ket", not "fuck it" by the way.
Oh I did go shopping for jeans but honestly I couldn't quite fit in them properly as Thai women as gorgeous as they are don't have legs so if I didn't mind sitting I looked great in them. But since I have muscle on my legs I just couldn't get them. So I'll have to wait. But it was a great shopping experience!
I have to say the book I was reading of Osho's was talking about misery and happiness and how people don't tend to like happy people, they don't support others happiness. I found this sad, yet I have experience it as well. It's pretty crazy, us humans. And then there is the flip side, I was talking to a friend about tears and anger, how as children we are told not to cry, not to be angry and then as adults we don't know how to express these emotions so we are repressed or just fake we are ok. How do you express your feelings? For me I have always hated crying but in the last year I'm embracing it more. Thankfully as I cry all the time-well at least weekly anyway, at least it gets expressed, happy, sad, angry tears, all human.
This morning I got angry as I couldn't find my list of things to do, here I do this to save time and now it's disappeared. Well I got upset and remarkably enough within moments I was calm, felt relieved and happy. What was odd was if anyone was around I would have felt embarrassed, anger is not an ok emotions was the message inside me again-how odd, so human. Why not? Many gurus say anger is a great emotion to heal, to make things happen, to know what you want or don't want. But some how we have been told it's wrong and so is happiness. Don't be to happy as you will make others uncomfortable. The message from others is:"Don't cry as you will make me uncomfortable as I don't know what to do to make it go away or heal it so just stop it so I'm comfortable." Humans are crazy, why can't we just accept our unhappiness when it arises and embrace our happiness when it comes up and all others emotions as well? Fear I think it is, fear of being out of control of ourselves and others and of how we'll be seen.
I think I scare people with all my emotions and truths of what I'm feeling, but that's ok. As the people that stay around are great people that accept me and we can handle each others emotions! At least I have found balance in it over the years with the tears and all! It's all good learnin', as I like to say! Ok Big Squeezes!
Keep your heart open, keep dancing and listen to your soul! I am thinkin' of ya!
I'd love to hear from you! Ok I'm off, love and hugs to you, Heather
Wow, Thailand has been a beautiful recovery place from the third world of India. But honestly I miss India a ton. I love the dirt, the craziness of it all. I mostly miss Rishekesh, the people I met there, my great yoga teacher there, CHAI, the river and chanting on it and my chai place as well as my samosa place. It's a special place India. As nice as it is to have a clean toilet here, India is in my blood and will never leave. It's a passion inside of me. I look forward to my next trip there.
Yet I'm thrilled to be going to OZ, man oh man, a dream come true. It's coming true. Only 1.5 days left and I'll be on Australian soil. I'll be being picked up by my friends fiance, as he was wisked off to England for a family illness for 5 weeks, but I'll see him later. It gives me and his fiance a chance to get to know each other. So sweet to still be able to stay with her! What I'm actually surprisingly excited about is to get a job-doing hair or in a hostel, how fun to do some work and to play. It's a good way to get to know people as well.
But on the now point, I have met with so many authentic smiles here in Thailand this time. I think my attitude has calmed and changed as I am loving the people this time around and getting their hearts again. Pretty amazing how change your mind and everyone seems different.
I left Bangkok for Ko Phangan, well to say the least, I really missed Bangkok, I love that city. As much as I love the ocean, Ko Phangan is crazy now, even in wild and wet season. Everything turned moldy within 2 days and I think I was soggy inside and out. My bones were cold. So 4 days was one day too much, but thankfully I'm here in dryer and definately warmer Phuket where I am grateful to be. I am eating at the local eateries with all Thai people for less then a dollar for a meal, catching up on a million emails I've some how lost track of, trying to find a good dentist here to get a cleaning and just getting ready for my next leg of my journey.
Yesterday was a crazy day, my 7 hour travel day with a 2 hour break to go to the dentist didn't quite happen as planned. I got the boat at 7am and then bus to Surat Thani, was supposed to leave at 11:00am for Phuket or go to the Dentist and go on the 2pm bus. It was pouring so I chose to do the dentistry in Phuket. Well the very slow, 60 year old primping bus driver was 1 1/2 hours late picking us up, looking in the mirror making sure his hair was good or running his fingers through it, stopping one other place for no reason and then taking off-in which I had plenty of time to go to the dentist, oh well. Well on the way he picked up fish for his family, went shopping, dropped his stuff off at his family and then refused to drop us any where but some where in the middle of where we didn't know where we were and wouldn't tell us! I love traveling I do, it just cracks me up. My western mind was just a little baffled by all the things he did for himself along the way, making it a 12 hour jouney instead. I was wiped out!
But I'm happy to be here, in a great little place with a real mattress and a working fan that has high medium and low and a sink and a wooden couch! Very nice for $6.00 a night. Better enjoy this now, OZ won't be so cheap. A little scary going west now, yikes! No cows in the streets-which I miss terribly! No monkies to come bug me or eat from my hands. Yet lots of things that can kill ya-box jelly fish and sharks and spiders that look like they are steel. But mostly these are rare or only in seasons.
On top of being thrilled about being thrilled about OZ, Rob, from home, and I are planning our trip for NZ as well for Dec-January and I'm just so excited to be there in nature as well. We will go to a B&B first which the photos are incredible. If you know of any great places around Christchurch let me know as that's where we will be flying into.
I am loving being here having chocolate milk-yikes! My Thailand addiction. Mango Sticky rice and now I've gone off soymilk, it makes me spit up. Not that you needed to know that but it's the truth!
Oh, my in the skin dirty feet from India are gone. The beach cleaned them and my toe nails are actually white for the first time in 6 months. It's so nice to see the actual color of my feet, so nice. I love sand and beach water!
Ok I can go on and on, you know me. But I'm doing great, life is thrilling and always changing. So tomorrow at 10pm I'll be off to Sydney, for now I'm just enjoying this town of Phuket-it's "Poo ket", not "fuck it" by the way.
Oh I did go shopping for jeans but honestly I couldn't quite fit in them properly as Thai women as gorgeous as they are don't have legs so if I didn't mind sitting I looked great in them. But since I have muscle on my legs I just couldn't get them. So I'll have to wait. But it was a great shopping experience!
I have to say the book I was reading of Osho's was talking about misery and happiness and how people don't tend to like happy people, they don't support others happiness. I found this sad, yet I have experience it as well. It's pretty crazy, us humans. And then there is the flip side, I was talking to a friend about tears and anger, how as children we are told not to cry, not to be angry and then as adults we don't know how to express these emotions so we are repressed or just fake we are ok. How do you express your feelings? For me I have always hated crying but in the last year I'm embracing it more. Thankfully as I cry all the time-well at least weekly anyway, at least it gets expressed, happy, sad, angry tears, all human.
This morning I got angry as I couldn't find my list of things to do, here I do this to save time and now it's disappeared. Well I got upset and remarkably enough within moments I was calm, felt relieved and happy. What was odd was if anyone was around I would have felt embarrassed, anger is not an ok emotions was the message inside me again-how odd, so human. Why not? Many gurus say anger is a great emotion to heal, to make things happen, to know what you want or don't want. But some how we have been told it's wrong and so is happiness. Don't be to happy as you will make others uncomfortable. The message from others is:"Don't cry as you will make me uncomfortable as I don't know what to do to make it go away or heal it so just stop it so I'm comfortable." Humans are crazy, why can't we just accept our unhappiness when it arises and embrace our happiness when it comes up and all others emotions as well? Fear I think it is, fear of being out of control of ourselves and others and of how we'll be seen.
I think I scare people with all my emotions and truths of what I'm feeling, but that's ok. As the people that stay around are great people that accept me and we can handle each others emotions! At least I have found balance in it over the years with the tears and all! It's all good learnin', as I like to say! Ok Big Squeezes!
Keep your heart open, keep dancing and listen to your soul! I am thinkin' of ya!
I'd love to hear from you! Ok I'm off, love and hugs to you, Heather
Monday, October 15, 2007
Left India with a Bang! What a Train Ride!
Hello there Loves,
Wow Wow Wow, India, a great memory, yet happy to be in Bangkok! My last week in Rishekesh was heaven, getting up and scraping my tongue, cleaning my eyes with an eye cup, cleaning my nose with a neti pot, then with my finger cleaning my teeth with Ganga Salt for getting all the bacteria out-This was my start of my day every day. If I stayed longer in the Yoga course I'd be vomiting by now and maybe even swallowing gauze and eventually doing enemas, who knows, my morning process was already a half hour as it was.
Then there is grabbing my steel cup and heading for chai of all milk with my favorite family and to the beach to chant. This last day was the greatest, I filmed myself chanting and did a whole film of the surrounding mountains with silence and song in the back ground. As well as watching the horses getting loaded up with sand and rocks and stumbling off to carry it to some house they are building. It was a great last morning. I chatted with a beautiful friend from Japan at the Ganga, then off to say good bye to a friend leaving that morning, so nice to get one last hug, as who knows how long it will be for my next hug.
The great thing about staying in a place for weeks at a time is I can start hugging everyone and that's the best!!!! So I did my last things and got on the train at 10:15pm. I slept great on the train the first night!
Have you ever been on a train, stood at the door way, closed your eyes, a voice comes in and says "be the wind", I felt the wind all around me, brushing around me, my hair moving, but becoming the wind, I didn't become. I realized the wind went around me, it didn't go through me, it touched me, but it didn't really feel like it touched me. It was as if it stayed close enough to change my feathers, my hair, my skin, but didn't touch me really. I felt as if I was flying, I was a bird flying, flying high, the wind all around me, carrying me but not really touching me as it stayed a few inches away just holding me. I got caught up in it, feeling it, becoming total with being up in the sky, I could feel the clouds, see the sky all around me and feel the ebb and flow of the wind whipping around me, changing my directions, pushing and pulling, taking me up and down. It was heaven to be there.
I open my eyes to find I'm on a train, there are Indians watching me, who knows if they could feel what I felt but man oh man it felt great. I think I was vibrating. Later I put my Ipod on to listen to some Amae-if you don't have her music you have to get it, she is the most uplifting person I know to get cha out of a bad mood or in an even greater mood, powerful music and I love to sing to her. Well here I was busting out singing to her on the train, which I normally don't do, but something told me to do it. I got a little attention but mostly smiles and approval, which was a sweet. I love it.
I then walked to the door and was listening to some other dance music, singing at the door way, putting my whole body out of the train but my feet and my hands holding the rails and my stomach out to the world, I look out at the landscape of greenery, farm lands, looked up at the sky, saw the shanti shacks the people lived in a they would wave at me as I went by. I'd wave back. It felt so great to be welcomed so lovingly and briefly. I felt like a kid again, playing on the train, waving at strangers, dancing a little gig at the doorway of the train. I just can't stand still with music.
Well I stood there for a long time, at least an hour and then when I went to another door way a man asked for me to dance. I was not sure what to do, the whole thing of dancing on demand, especially since I hadn't really danced, I was more like bebopping around, not REALLY dancing, but they didn't know that. I wiggled my way out of it.
I talked to a man that had fallen in love with a woman but the parents didn't approve as he is Muslim and her Hindu, so sad. It's hard to fall in love and then to have to split because of such reasons.
Well the dancing thing came back to me though, another group of men asked me to dance. I said "you notch" (you dance) one man got up and shook his hips so I did the same and another said "no music". I got my speakers out and he danced for a second. So finally I danced for only 2 minutes for them at their request of western music-Prince was the thing that came up so there I was half the train watching and I danced for them but tried to pull them into the dance but they weren't having it. It was great fun! New experiences left and right in India.
That night was another first experience, I ordered dinner and never got it, very strange. My neighbors I think they thought they were alone in the compartment as they just turned off the lights as I was reading and then woke up at 4:30 or 5am and started talking, turned on the lights and all kinds of craziness!!!! ; ) India, oh India.
And then there was one last lesson India had to give me while I was there, not a very nice one and I feel very stupid because of it. You know how you have these feelings something is going to happen yet you don't know how to stop it or you just don't do anything about it. Well that is what was going on with me. I kept saying "this is the most dangerous part of India make sure your bag is locked up. You have your one bag locked up secure but the one with the most valuable things isn't locked up properly, you should do something about this. It might get taken...." Well all my life of travel I've always locked up my things safely, I've always done everything very safely in travel.
Well I didn't listen to myself and though my bag was locked up it was locked to something that could be cut. It was the last 30-40 minutes of the day and a half train trip. I got my tooth brush out, I brushed my teeth, I went to the toilet, sat down. Something told me get my bag down, I climbed up, did you ever have the feeling like you were looking at something and it wasn't real? I had this feeling before, when my car was stolen, I walked out 18 years ago to my car, walked back inside the house, walked back out to where my car was expecting it would be there, but some how it just wasn't. Well same thing happened, I went up the ladder, came back down, went back up and it was gone, my bag was gone. YIKES!!!
Heart raced, it's gone, it's gone. I knew it, it was gone, it was going to happen.....What to do, acceptance, let it go...heart racing, both Ipods, all the recordings, 3 months of photos, my camera, diary, speakers, prescription glasses and so much more....I felt my belly, yes I had my passport, yes I had my money. That's what's important, I have my documents, I can still leave, no hassles. Now what to do...I looked up and down the train, I let go...it's gone, it's ok.
Then I remembered 2 little girls distracting me at 2 stops back and remembered my friend telling me how quick the kids are at getting things and they do it invisibly, right in front of your face and you don't know.
I was good, well until I ran into the police on the train and then they made a mess of everything. I had to say things over and over again, they weren't listening, it got messy with telling the story and wish I hadn't, as you shouldn't have had to relive this so many times. It made it painful after a bit.
I got to Calcutta and made a report, I won't even tell you how much a crazy mess that was. But I did it and finally left in shock, not sure to be happy to be relieved of the weight and burden of protecting all those electronics or to cry as the loss of photos.
So I have felt both, I'm sad about the photos. But honestly the greatest thing is I ended up in Calcutta, where I could replace a few little things for dirt cheap-like my steel cup I love so much-I know I don't need it, but I love it and I used it quite a bit for all the cleansing stuff and well in India for chai.
I met some great women in the dorm room and that felt good. Calcutta is a city of a million photos and with no camera that was hard, but it was beautiful really to be there. My last day was up and down, mostly good, found what I needed. But the best was I was flying out the next day and my last morning there I just wandered the streets and found a little place that this man said "what do you want" I took it as an invite and sat down for a chai in my cup-divirginizing it. It had to have chai in it before I left India, it just had to!!! And it was a good chai, not as good as Manju's my mamma friend in Rishekesh but it was good. I bought some samosas for the plane ride and walked on.
I found a man cutting hair on the street. Being the hair stylist I am I dropped into deep fascination of how he was cutting the hair and was hypnotized by it all! I was taken in. I loved watching how close he could get with such crazy huge ass scissors, clink clink clink, opening and closing. Then with a straight razor he cleaned up the mans neck and around his ears and then proceeded to shave him with a straight razor. I had to laugh as the Indian men can be so rough with each other, positioning his head here and there and then back there and again there, as the man had moved. It was fascinating to watch the man go around with the shaving cream around his lips with his hands first, so intimate and then with the brush for the the foaming and man the foam that came from it and then he shaved him twice. So clean, simple (looking) and quick, only 30 minutes, all for the great price of 30rs which is less then a dollar.
I bowed in nameste and walked off to see all the street venders open, get and fresh squeezed orange juice and then head back passing the homeless sleeping on the street. Meaning these people had beds on the streets-matresses and frames and sleeping on them. Going in one direction one man was on the matress, coming back it seems to me there was a different man, but I'm not sure on that.
I was heading back to my chai place I had had chai earlier, why there, because he was nice, he had kind eyes and felt like he really cared and said "come back some time" and since I said I would, I did. He didn't really speak english either but he knew those kind words. So I came back, order puri with sambar or sabji-not sure, but all I knew was it was the best puri and sabji I had in ages!!!! He made the puri different from anyone else, a little lighter, yet thicker and less grease, the taste of the sabji was heaven, not too spicy either. With my right hand I ate my last street meal in India. The chai was even better this time. Everyone stared at my steel mug. One as I walked down the street even said "that your mug" and I proudly said "yes", so happy to have one back!!!!
So my cup got devirgindized twice and I had a great meal, watched a great haircut and shave, and watched Calcutta, my favorite big city in India, wake up. I got tons of Hellos and such gorgeous greetings as I walked to and from my hotel. I met the guy I was taking the cab with and off to the airport we went through the thick exhaust that you can cut with a knife, if you can find your knife, no just joking!!! It's not that bad, but I did have to roll up my window as it was palpable and making me a little dry and nauseous. A sign of being ready to go I guess.
I was at the airport, tiny airport really and everything went quickly at first, the people with Jet Airways were so sweet. We got to the place where they scan you and your bag and well, I guess I didn't lose both of my swiss army knives as one was still in my belly pack. And since it was a beautiful gift I couldn't just let them take it. They let me go back down stairs, Jet Airways found my bag, let me put it in my bag and then told me I had to go get it scanned again. YIKES! I was a bit nervous about boarding. But there was no problem, I scanned it, handed it to them and got up stairs in time for a chai 4 times the price of a normal chai and 10 times the price of a chai in Calcutta, crazy! Yet chai in Calcutte is only 2rs.
During the flight I had this great feeling of relief, I realized for the first time I was really happy to be leaving India. I was happy, giggly and excited for this next leg of my trip.
Now in Thailand, I feel so at ease. Firstly you can get everything done in a timely matter, the airport was a real airport with A/C and clean floors. It's all so clean and the big thing-I'd say to my new friend from the plane "listen" he said, it's so quiet. Yes it's so quiet. I didn't realize how loud India had been, all the horns every 5 seconds. Thailand is so quiet, even in the loud areas. We heard one loud horn the whole first day. I got to show him around the city as he only had that night here as he was leaving the next morning. He got a camera and books, etc all in the matter of 2 hours. It was great.
The next day I proceeded, after some thought, to start replacing the things I had stolen, not realizing how much there was but the biggest thing was how replaceable everything was. That was amazing! I almost didn't replace things but I chose to. I got everything basically back within one day except my Ipods. But even with that, one of my friends is giving me his with all my music on it! Shocking how easy it is to just replace everything, especially here in Thailand. Thank goodness it happened then.
This whole thing really left me with a feeling of "trust thy self, listen to yourself and listen to your own advice" as well as let go. I am still sad with losing the photos, email addresses and diary but the good thing is I have my life, my health and no one was harmed. So it's a good lesson.
This morning over a huge bowl of musli, fruit and curd I watched a man start to abuse this dog, I won't go into it, but I was so relieved to get the courage to walk over and tell him to stop, that he was a living being. He didn't like stopping but he did, thank goodness. It's hard to see people harming animals. There were a few people that was grateful that it was stopped, but man I just couldn't handle it any more.
I feel great here in Bangkok, I'll stay an extra day and leave tomorrow. But the greatest thing is I'm wearing my first pair of shorts I have worn in a year or more. What a relief! My legs are happy as it's been so hot and it's the first time I have felt cool in so long. And not to be stared at is nice too.
I will have my prescription glasses back as soon as I walk over and get them, only in hours and only for $79.00. And with red frames I'm very happy with them, they are really nice ones!
Bangkok has changed so much in 6 months since I've been here. It feels more like India with all the homeless, lepers on the street, the locals sucking on and spitting their red stuff they put in their cheek, the constant "tuk tuk" calls. Plus the buildings have totally changed and they are more pushy, but it maybe closer to India but not even close to it's intensity. I have never felt such a difference in leaving a place from 3rd world to almost western, well it is western here. I'm happy I did this transition time in Bangkok and going down to Ko Phangan tomorrow as going straight to Sydney would have been too much shock.
So I'm good, recovering from the incident in India and a little sad but doing well considering all. Lessons being learned around each corner.
So I'm off to the beach tomorrow night, excited to put my feet in the sand and hang in my hammock. And hang out in my shorts and sleeveless tops!!!! As much as I love India I was ready to be in my clothes again, but I can give up these things for short times, but it's nice to be back in my clothes again, it feels like my skin!
Ok loves, I hope you are well. I love hearing from you. I miss you tons and send you tons of hugs. Life is good, all the time-as Michael Beckwith would say! I love it! Happiness is a choice, what will we choose today! I love the quote from AA, not sure if it's exact but something like this "to be unhappy is inevitable to be miserable is a choice". I'd prefer to choose happiness myself, honor all feelings but still choose happiness.
I love and hug you, Nameste, The divine in me honors the divine in you, Heather
Wow Wow Wow, India, a great memory, yet happy to be in Bangkok! My last week in Rishekesh was heaven, getting up and scraping my tongue, cleaning my eyes with an eye cup, cleaning my nose with a neti pot, then with my finger cleaning my teeth with Ganga Salt for getting all the bacteria out-This was my start of my day every day. If I stayed longer in the Yoga course I'd be vomiting by now and maybe even swallowing gauze and eventually doing enemas, who knows, my morning process was already a half hour as it was.
Then there is grabbing my steel cup and heading for chai of all milk with my favorite family and to the beach to chant. This last day was the greatest, I filmed myself chanting and did a whole film of the surrounding mountains with silence and song in the back ground. As well as watching the horses getting loaded up with sand and rocks and stumbling off to carry it to some house they are building. It was a great last morning. I chatted with a beautiful friend from Japan at the Ganga, then off to say good bye to a friend leaving that morning, so nice to get one last hug, as who knows how long it will be for my next hug.
The great thing about staying in a place for weeks at a time is I can start hugging everyone and that's the best!!!! So I did my last things and got on the train at 10:15pm. I slept great on the train the first night!
Have you ever been on a train, stood at the door way, closed your eyes, a voice comes in and says "be the wind", I felt the wind all around me, brushing around me, my hair moving, but becoming the wind, I didn't become. I realized the wind went around me, it didn't go through me, it touched me, but it didn't really feel like it touched me. It was as if it stayed close enough to change my feathers, my hair, my skin, but didn't touch me really. I felt as if I was flying, I was a bird flying, flying high, the wind all around me, carrying me but not really touching me as it stayed a few inches away just holding me. I got caught up in it, feeling it, becoming total with being up in the sky, I could feel the clouds, see the sky all around me and feel the ebb and flow of the wind whipping around me, changing my directions, pushing and pulling, taking me up and down. It was heaven to be there.
I open my eyes to find I'm on a train, there are Indians watching me, who knows if they could feel what I felt but man oh man it felt great. I think I was vibrating. Later I put my Ipod on to listen to some Amae-if you don't have her music you have to get it, she is the most uplifting person I know to get cha out of a bad mood or in an even greater mood, powerful music and I love to sing to her. Well here I was busting out singing to her on the train, which I normally don't do, but something told me to do it. I got a little attention but mostly smiles and approval, which was a sweet. I love it.
I then walked to the door and was listening to some other dance music, singing at the door way, putting my whole body out of the train but my feet and my hands holding the rails and my stomach out to the world, I look out at the landscape of greenery, farm lands, looked up at the sky, saw the shanti shacks the people lived in a they would wave at me as I went by. I'd wave back. It felt so great to be welcomed so lovingly and briefly. I felt like a kid again, playing on the train, waving at strangers, dancing a little gig at the doorway of the train. I just can't stand still with music.
Well I stood there for a long time, at least an hour and then when I went to another door way a man asked for me to dance. I was not sure what to do, the whole thing of dancing on demand, especially since I hadn't really danced, I was more like bebopping around, not REALLY dancing, but they didn't know that. I wiggled my way out of it.
I talked to a man that had fallen in love with a woman but the parents didn't approve as he is Muslim and her Hindu, so sad. It's hard to fall in love and then to have to split because of such reasons.
Well the dancing thing came back to me though, another group of men asked me to dance. I said "you notch" (you dance) one man got up and shook his hips so I did the same and another said "no music". I got my speakers out and he danced for a second. So finally I danced for only 2 minutes for them at their request of western music-Prince was the thing that came up so there I was half the train watching and I danced for them but tried to pull them into the dance but they weren't having it. It was great fun! New experiences left and right in India.
That night was another first experience, I ordered dinner and never got it, very strange. My neighbors I think they thought they were alone in the compartment as they just turned off the lights as I was reading and then woke up at 4:30 or 5am and started talking, turned on the lights and all kinds of craziness!!!! ; ) India, oh India.
And then there was one last lesson India had to give me while I was there, not a very nice one and I feel very stupid because of it. You know how you have these feelings something is going to happen yet you don't know how to stop it or you just don't do anything about it. Well that is what was going on with me. I kept saying "this is the most dangerous part of India make sure your bag is locked up. You have your one bag locked up secure but the one with the most valuable things isn't locked up properly, you should do something about this. It might get taken...." Well all my life of travel I've always locked up my things safely, I've always done everything very safely in travel.
Well I didn't listen to myself and though my bag was locked up it was locked to something that could be cut. It was the last 30-40 minutes of the day and a half train trip. I got my tooth brush out, I brushed my teeth, I went to the toilet, sat down. Something told me get my bag down, I climbed up, did you ever have the feeling like you were looking at something and it wasn't real? I had this feeling before, when my car was stolen, I walked out 18 years ago to my car, walked back inside the house, walked back out to where my car was expecting it would be there, but some how it just wasn't. Well same thing happened, I went up the ladder, came back down, went back up and it was gone, my bag was gone. YIKES!!!
Heart raced, it's gone, it's gone. I knew it, it was gone, it was going to happen.....What to do, acceptance, let it go...heart racing, both Ipods, all the recordings, 3 months of photos, my camera, diary, speakers, prescription glasses and so much more....I felt my belly, yes I had my passport, yes I had my money. That's what's important, I have my documents, I can still leave, no hassles. Now what to do...I looked up and down the train, I let go...it's gone, it's ok.
Then I remembered 2 little girls distracting me at 2 stops back and remembered my friend telling me how quick the kids are at getting things and they do it invisibly, right in front of your face and you don't know.
I was good, well until I ran into the police on the train and then they made a mess of everything. I had to say things over and over again, they weren't listening, it got messy with telling the story and wish I hadn't, as you shouldn't have had to relive this so many times. It made it painful after a bit.
I got to Calcutta and made a report, I won't even tell you how much a crazy mess that was. But I did it and finally left in shock, not sure to be happy to be relieved of the weight and burden of protecting all those electronics or to cry as the loss of photos.
So I have felt both, I'm sad about the photos. But honestly the greatest thing is I ended up in Calcutta, where I could replace a few little things for dirt cheap-like my steel cup I love so much-I know I don't need it, but I love it and I used it quite a bit for all the cleansing stuff and well in India for chai.
I met some great women in the dorm room and that felt good. Calcutta is a city of a million photos and with no camera that was hard, but it was beautiful really to be there. My last day was up and down, mostly good, found what I needed. But the best was I was flying out the next day and my last morning there I just wandered the streets and found a little place that this man said "what do you want" I took it as an invite and sat down for a chai in my cup-divirginizing it. It had to have chai in it before I left India, it just had to!!! And it was a good chai, not as good as Manju's my mamma friend in Rishekesh but it was good. I bought some samosas for the plane ride and walked on.
I found a man cutting hair on the street. Being the hair stylist I am I dropped into deep fascination of how he was cutting the hair and was hypnotized by it all! I was taken in. I loved watching how close he could get with such crazy huge ass scissors, clink clink clink, opening and closing. Then with a straight razor he cleaned up the mans neck and around his ears and then proceeded to shave him with a straight razor. I had to laugh as the Indian men can be so rough with each other, positioning his head here and there and then back there and again there, as the man had moved. It was fascinating to watch the man go around with the shaving cream around his lips with his hands first, so intimate and then with the brush for the the foaming and man the foam that came from it and then he shaved him twice. So clean, simple (looking) and quick, only 30 minutes, all for the great price of 30rs which is less then a dollar.
I bowed in nameste and walked off to see all the street venders open, get and fresh squeezed orange juice and then head back passing the homeless sleeping on the street. Meaning these people had beds on the streets-matresses and frames and sleeping on them. Going in one direction one man was on the matress, coming back it seems to me there was a different man, but I'm not sure on that.
I was heading back to my chai place I had had chai earlier, why there, because he was nice, he had kind eyes and felt like he really cared and said "come back some time" and since I said I would, I did. He didn't really speak english either but he knew those kind words. So I came back, order puri with sambar or sabji-not sure, but all I knew was it was the best puri and sabji I had in ages!!!! He made the puri different from anyone else, a little lighter, yet thicker and less grease, the taste of the sabji was heaven, not too spicy either. With my right hand I ate my last street meal in India. The chai was even better this time. Everyone stared at my steel mug. One as I walked down the street even said "that your mug" and I proudly said "yes", so happy to have one back!!!!
So my cup got devirgindized twice and I had a great meal, watched a great haircut and shave, and watched Calcutta, my favorite big city in India, wake up. I got tons of Hellos and such gorgeous greetings as I walked to and from my hotel. I met the guy I was taking the cab with and off to the airport we went through the thick exhaust that you can cut with a knife, if you can find your knife, no just joking!!! It's not that bad, but I did have to roll up my window as it was palpable and making me a little dry and nauseous. A sign of being ready to go I guess.
I was at the airport, tiny airport really and everything went quickly at first, the people with Jet Airways were so sweet. We got to the place where they scan you and your bag and well, I guess I didn't lose both of my swiss army knives as one was still in my belly pack. And since it was a beautiful gift I couldn't just let them take it. They let me go back down stairs, Jet Airways found my bag, let me put it in my bag and then told me I had to go get it scanned again. YIKES! I was a bit nervous about boarding. But there was no problem, I scanned it, handed it to them and got up stairs in time for a chai 4 times the price of a normal chai and 10 times the price of a chai in Calcutta, crazy! Yet chai in Calcutte is only 2rs.
During the flight I had this great feeling of relief, I realized for the first time I was really happy to be leaving India. I was happy, giggly and excited for this next leg of my trip.
Now in Thailand, I feel so at ease. Firstly you can get everything done in a timely matter, the airport was a real airport with A/C and clean floors. It's all so clean and the big thing-I'd say to my new friend from the plane "listen" he said, it's so quiet. Yes it's so quiet. I didn't realize how loud India had been, all the horns every 5 seconds. Thailand is so quiet, even in the loud areas. We heard one loud horn the whole first day. I got to show him around the city as he only had that night here as he was leaving the next morning. He got a camera and books, etc all in the matter of 2 hours. It was great.
The next day I proceeded, after some thought, to start replacing the things I had stolen, not realizing how much there was but the biggest thing was how replaceable everything was. That was amazing! I almost didn't replace things but I chose to. I got everything basically back within one day except my Ipods. But even with that, one of my friends is giving me his with all my music on it! Shocking how easy it is to just replace everything, especially here in Thailand. Thank goodness it happened then.
This whole thing really left me with a feeling of "trust thy self, listen to yourself and listen to your own advice" as well as let go. I am still sad with losing the photos, email addresses and diary but the good thing is I have my life, my health and no one was harmed. So it's a good lesson.
This morning over a huge bowl of musli, fruit and curd I watched a man start to abuse this dog, I won't go into it, but I was so relieved to get the courage to walk over and tell him to stop, that he was a living being. He didn't like stopping but he did, thank goodness. It's hard to see people harming animals. There were a few people that was grateful that it was stopped, but man I just couldn't handle it any more.
I feel great here in Bangkok, I'll stay an extra day and leave tomorrow. But the greatest thing is I'm wearing my first pair of shorts I have worn in a year or more. What a relief! My legs are happy as it's been so hot and it's the first time I have felt cool in so long. And not to be stared at is nice too.
I will have my prescription glasses back as soon as I walk over and get them, only in hours and only for $79.00. And with red frames I'm very happy with them, they are really nice ones!
Bangkok has changed so much in 6 months since I've been here. It feels more like India with all the homeless, lepers on the street, the locals sucking on and spitting their red stuff they put in their cheek, the constant "tuk tuk" calls. Plus the buildings have totally changed and they are more pushy, but it maybe closer to India but not even close to it's intensity. I have never felt such a difference in leaving a place from 3rd world to almost western, well it is western here. I'm happy I did this transition time in Bangkok and going down to Ko Phangan tomorrow as going straight to Sydney would have been too much shock.
So I'm good, recovering from the incident in India and a little sad but doing well considering all. Lessons being learned around each corner.
So I'm off to the beach tomorrow night, excited to put my feet in the sand and hang in my hammock. And hang out in my shorts and sleeveless tops!!!! As much as I love India I was ready to be in my clothes again, but I can give up these things for short times, but it's nice to be back in my clothes again, it feels like my skin!
Ok loves, I hope you are well. I love hearing from you. I miss you tons and send you tons of hugs. Life is good, all the time-as Michael Beckwith would say! I love it! Happiness is a choice, what will we choose today! I love the quote from AA, not sure if it's exact but something like this "to be unhappy is inevitable to be miserable is a choice". I'd prefer to choose happiness myself, honor all feelings but still choose happiness.
I love and hug you, Nameste, The divine in me honors the divine in you, Heather
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Cow Cuddling!
Hello there,
How are you? Life is great here! Though it's time to leave Rishekesh, a sad time but busy time getting everything ready to move on. I've been here for 25 days now and have only 2 1/2 more days. I've loved my time here.
One peticular moment stands out above the rest and that is coming out of yoga, sitting on a bench and having this beautiful cow come up to me and put her whole head in my lap to be cuddled and loved. She first tried to horn me but then once I started petting her, she just curled right up in my lap-her head that is, she stayed that for a good long while. She left and then came back for another loving session. Cows are such loves, so soft, especially around the necks-they have long hanging skin here, and around the ears. I have fallen in love with petting cows. Everyday I need to get my fill of cow petting and loving.
Yet you have to know which cows to pet, as one baby cow has made it his mission to horn you if you have something in your hands or if you try to pet him. He's an aggressive little thing. Well, little compared to the others.
And luckliy cows have 4 legs, because I have now found out that if a cow steps on your foot, it doesn't break it. I was a bit concerned when I found a cow on my foot, and being able to pull it out from under it. I will miss my cow filled streets, my cow cuddles and being able to touch them daily. Though I won't miss their crap covered asses and watching them clean each others butts, but the love, I'll miss the love of the cows and loving on them.
I went for a hike that lasted 7 hours the other day, it was gorgeous! First hike in ages and I got to stop at the top, have a chai and take in the green views with the river below flowing half muddy and half clean-where I guess another river joins it, a mountain was in the way of seeing how it got so clean in such a short distance. But I'll tell you my great highlights of this day. First I got to go to a cafe I went to 7 years ago where the man is so sweet and kind hearted and I got to have fond memories of my time there before. The on the way down I went to dunk my head in the river as I was hot and this young Indian boy-probably 18-19 came up and started helping me wet my hair and then next thing I knew he was washing my hair in the river. He sister and possibly father, just sat there laughing. It was beautiful.
Then I walked on to find a Sadu (a holy man-many here are fake) he showed me how to feed that blackfaced monkeys. So for a rupee I got some food for the blackfaced/Honoman monkeys, put my hand out and this one, she pushed the other one away and put her whole face into my hand and with her lips and gently scraping her teach on my hand took every last morsel I put in my hand bit my bit. She didn't hurt me, cut me, or anything. Just wanted the food and understood when I had no more. Wow, what an experience! I wouldn't have done that with the red monkeys but these ones are much more gentle.
My neighbor used to have them come in her room and they'd lean on her and just hang out, they are very peaceful hearted monkeys with people, yet can get a little upset when sharing food.
The same red monkey came into my room again this morning as I was organizing my stuff, turning around out of being shocked he was there I squealed and then told him out, and he went. Yes, getting better with these monkeys!
So my mornings are just lovely here. I get up around 5:30am or 6am, I go out to get my chai in my own big steel cup after 6am and go sit at the ganga chanting, taking in the nature, mountains and life surrounding me. All the men coming out to bathe in the river, bless themselves, put water in a cup and pour it out toward the sun with their arms reaching upward in the suns direction, giving thanks to the sun. It's amazing what these people do as ceremony, daily, as ritual. What is the west's rituals? I can't think of anything.
But this morning I chanted, then I sang, a danced in the sunlight and bathed in nature as I moved through it on it's rocky beach shoreline. I left when I drew too much attention. But for those moments of bliss, sharing, being in the sun, dancing, singing and laughing, it was heaven. Such little things make me happy. It was so nice to forget about everything else-what to pack, what to send home, what to take to Oz, etc.....and just be in life and with life. The moment is beautiful and breath taking.
If I were to describe a big part of India I'd describe to you a visual. See a dark skinned, wrinkled from weathering-sleeping out on the Ghats in all kinds of weather, hand reaching out, asking for baksheesh/money, food, chai. Visualize a coin being dropped into that hand, that is India. Someone always asking, always needing, always begging. It's not always nice, they aren't always in need, some are always in need, but there is never a moment when they don't want something from you in the tourist areas.
I realize it changed me since the last time I'd been here, always feeling, even at home, like someone wants something from me. Something don't want to give, can't give or shouldn't give. It give a head trip after a while as you start to think they just can't be your friend, they have no heart, you are only a paycheck for them and it leaves an empty sad feeling. It changes you. But then to remember the memories of all the ones that wanted to give and wanted nothing in return keeps you sane. As there are plenty of them when you are outside the tourist zones. So letting go of the "someone always wants something from me, will need to be let go" as it creates a wall, you don't look at people any more, you stop being friendly and start being inhuman after a time. This isn't the goal.
I go from the ghats and walk down the street with a line up of a hundred sadhus sitting here wanting food or money from you-luckily they beg from many Indians as well. They are all dark skinned, dressed in bright orange, with their pots for money, for chai, for food, a stick sometimes for walking, glasses, a orange sash around their heads and eyes that are so striking.
One baba/sadhu, his name is Sacha, meaning truth, he has traveled the world, lived in the US, Africa and many other places. He is filled with stories, yet lives with one set of clothes that gets washed on his body each morning, has one jacket so he doesn't get cold and a pair of hiking boots so his feet are protected. Sacha has dark brown eyes in the middle and blue edges around them, they are stunning. He knows so much. It's nice to sit and talk truth with him about life, how little we need and about being. I know he is safe and surrounded with love. I light up when I see him.
Another thing you get in India is the constant hawking of anything in the throat, no shame in that. In the mornings I hear them trying to get everything out for sometimes up to a half hour. And then they blow their nose into the sink or street with their fingers holding the other nostril-both of these things I learned the last time here in India and love it! Gross or not, I like it! And then at my little chai shop one family member just sits there doing nothing but talking and drinking chai and from time to time, he moves his hips, lifts one side and then squirts out a fart and then he laughs, yet sometimes he doesn't. It is funny though, bodily functions happen. Can you imagine in the west everyone being like this?
But India is evolving, more men and women are holding hands now, touching each other, spending time with each other alone. I never saw Indians touch 7 years ago. And the women are driving motor bikes now. It's ever evolving, is it good, maybe, yet it makes me wonder what it will be like in another 10 years, how western will it be then. How different will it be from the west?
I watch the buns, the milk, and everything being delivered to my chai shop each morning by a bicycle vendor, who rides around shop to shop selling their goods. No where to go, wé'll bring it to you.
So the time has come to leave India. I leave Rishekesh on Wednesday night, go 1 1/2 days by train to Calcutta. I fly out on Saturday for Bangkok for 2 days and head to the beach for 6 days of beach time before flying out to OZ. Which I'm very excited about going to. To where short sleeves, no sleeves, shorts-which I haven't worn in the whole time I've been away. I want to buy a part of shorts and jeans, Oh, yes, the west is coming into my being. and as much as I love India, the calling for not being stared at 24/7, wearing what I want sounds really great to me. I've been on a dress code for 8 months now, time to let that go. And then the real joy of seeing my friends again that I haven't seen in so long.
Well more later, this is enough for now. I wanted to let you know what's going on. Remember to stay in the moment, it's all we truly have, let tomorrow take care of it's self, and yesterday is long gone, so today, this moment is what we have, how would you like to spend it. For me, right now, I am sharing and I am grateful for it. I send you love and hugs, Heather
How are you? Life is great here! Though it's time to leave Rishekesh, a sad time but busy time getting everything ready to move on. I've been here for 25 days now and have only 2 1/2 more days. I've loved my time here.
One peticular moment stands out above the rest and that is coming out of yoga, sitting on a bench and having this beautiful cow come up to me and put her whole head in my lap to be cuddled and loved. She first tried to horn me but then once I started petting her, she just curled right up in my lap-her head that is, she stayed that for a good long while. She left and then came back for another loving session. Cows are such loves, so soft, especially around the necks-they have long hanging skin here, and around the ears. I have fallen in love with petting cows. Everyday I need to get my fill of cow petting and loving.
Yet you have to know which cows to pet, as one baby cow has made it his mission to horn you if you have something in your hands or if you try to pet him. He's an aggressive little thing. Well, little compared to the others.
And luckliy cows have 4 legs, because I have now found out that if a cow steps on your foot, it doesn't break it. I was a bit concerned when I found a cow on my foot, and being able to pull it out from under it. I will miss my cow filled streets, my cow cuddles and being able to touch them daily. Though I won't miss their crap covered asses and watching them clean each others butts, but the love, I'll miss the love of the cows and loving on them.
I went for a hike that lasted 7 hours the other day, it was gorgeous! First hike in ages and I got to stop at the top, have a chai and take in the green views with the river below flowing half muddy and half clean-where I guess another river joins it, a mountain was in the way of seeing how it got so clean in such a short distance. But I'll tell you my great highlights of this day. First I got to go to a cafe I went to 7 years ago where the man is so sweet and kind hearted and I got to have fond memories of my time there before. The on the way down I went to dunk my head in the river as I was hot and this young Indian boy-probably 18-19 came up and started helping me wet my hair and then next thing I knew he was washing my hair in the river. He sister and possibly father, just sat there laughing. It was beautiful.
Then I walked on to find a Sadu (a holy man-many here are fake) he showed me how to feed that blackfaced monkeys. So for a rupee I got some food for the blackfaced/Honoman monkeys, put my hand out and this one, she pushed the other one away and put her whole face into my hand and with her lips and gently scraping her teach on my hand took every last morsel I put in my hand bit my bit. She didn't hurt me, cut me, or anything. Just wanted the food and understood when I had no more. Wow, what an experience! I wouldn't have done that with the red monkeys but these ones are much more gentle.
My neighbor used to have them come in her room and they'd lean on her and just hang out, they are very peaceful hearted monkeys with people, yet can get a little upset when sharing food.
The same red monkey came into my room again this morning as I was organizing my stuff, turning around out of being shocked he was there I squealed and then told him out, and he went. Yes, getting better with these monkeys!
So my mornings are just lovely here. I get up around 5:30am or 6am, I go out to get my chai in my own big steel cup after 6am and go sit at the ganga chanting, taking in the nature, mountains and life surrounding me. All the men coming out to bathe in the river, bless themselves, put water in a cup and pour it out toward the sun with their arms reaching upward in the suns direction, giving thanks to the sun. It's amazing what these people do as ceremony, daily, as ritual. What is the west's rituals? I can't think of anything.
But this morning I chanted, then I sang, a danced in the sunlight and bathed in nature as I moved through it on it's rocky beach shoreline. I left when I drew too much attention. But for those moments of bliss, sharing, being in the sun, dancing, singing and laughing, it was heaven. Such little things make me happy. It was so nice to forget about everything else-what to pack, what to send home, what to take to Oz, etc.....and just be in life and with life. The moment is beautiful and breath taking.
If I were to describe a big part of India I'd describe to you a visual. See a dark skinned, wrinkled from weathering-sleeping out on the Ghats in all kinds of weather, hand reaching out, asking for baksheesh/money, food, chai. Visualize a coin being dropped into that hand, that is India. Someone always asking, always needing, always begging. It's not always nice, they aren't always in need, some are always in need, but there is never a moment when they don't want something from you in the tourist areas.
I realize it changed me since the last time I'd been here, always feeling, even at home, like someone wants something from me. Something don't want to give, can't give or shouldn't give. It give a head trip after a while as you start to think they just can't be your friend, they have no heart, you are only a paycheck for them and it leaves an empty sad feeling. It changes you. But then to remember the memories of all the ones that wanted to give and wanted nothing in return keeps you sane. As there are plenty of them when you are outside the tourist zones. So letting go of the "someone always wants something from me, will need to be let go" as it creates a wall, you don't look at people any more, you stop being friendly and start being inhuman after a time. This isn't the goal.
I go from the ghats and walk down the street with a line up of a hundred sadhus sitting here wanting food or money from you-luckily they beg from many Indians as well. They are all dark skinned, dressed in bright orange, with their pots for money, for chai, for food, a stick sometimes for walking, glasses, a orange sash around their heads and eyes that are so striking.
One baba/sadhu, his name is Sacha, meaning truth, he has traveled the world, lived in the US, Africa and many other places. He is filled with stories, yet lives with one set of clothes that gets washed on his body each morning, has one jacket so he doesn't get cold and a pair of hiking boots so his feet are protected. Sacha has dark brown eyes in the middle and blue edges around them, they are stunning. He knows so much. It's nice to sit and talk truth with him about life, how little we need and about being. I know he is safe and surrounded with love. I light up when I see him.
Another thing you get in India is the constant hawking of anything in the throat, no shame in that. In the mornings I hear them trying to get everything out for sometimes up to a half hour. And then they blow their nose into the sink or street with their fingers holding the other nostril-both of these things I learned the last time here in India and love it! Gross or not, I like it! And then at my little chai shop one family member just sits there doing nothing but talking and drinking chai and from time to time, he moves his hips, lifts one side and then squirts out a fart and then he laughs, yet sometimes he doesn't. It is funny though, bodily functions happen. Can you imagine in the west everyone being like this?
But India is evolving, more men and women are holding hands now, touching each other, spending time with each other alone. I never saw Indians touch 7 years ago. And the women are driving motor bikes now. It's ever evolving, is it good, maybe, yet it makes me wonder what it will be like in another 10 years, how western will it be then. How different will it be from the west?
I watch the buns, the milk, and everything being delivered to my chai shop each morning by a bicycle vendor, who rides around shop to shop selling their goods. No where to go, wé'll bring it to you.
So the time has come to leave India. I leave Rishekesh on Wednesday night, go 1 1/2 days by train to Calcutta. I fly out on Saturday for Bangkok for 2 days and head to the beach for 6 days of beach time before flying out to OZ. Which I'm very excited about going to. To where short sleeves, no sleeves, shorts-which I haven't worn in the whole time I've been away. I want to buy a part of shorts and jeans, Oh, yes, the west is coming into my being. and as much as I love India, the calling for not being stared at 24/7, wearing what I want sounds really great to me. I've been on a dress code for 8 months now, time to let that go. And then the real joy of seeing my friends again that I haven't seen in so long.
Well more later, this is enough for now. I wanted to let you know what's going on. Remember to stay in the moment, it's all we truly have, let tomorrow take care of it's self, and yesterday is long gone, so today, this moment is what we have, how would you like to spend it. For me, right now, I am sharing and I am grateful for it. I send you love and hugs, Heather
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