YES! My Kitten Dances!!! Goals & Dreams!

YES! My Kitten Dances!!!

What a wild, amazing and great month! Right now I’m in integration and recovery from so much love, healing and opening! WOW WOW WOW! It’s been a passionate month of growth, dance, connection and energy sharing!

Not sure how many read my last blog, I didn’t post it but it is here later on this page. But I have under gone some glorious Tantric healings that have completely opened me up to myself and released so many fears and opened to so much pleasure, joy and bliss that wore myself out. Sharing energy with people on the dance floor, shaking, vibrating and flowing in the bliss of connection, I found myself laughing, going in deep and coming out peaceful. Oh yes, life is so very good.

On top of this my birthday was last week, odd week for me in one way as I was so introverted, wanting to be inside, feeling and just to be with myself. But then having planned a party for myself and because of a certain internet networking group so many found out it was my birthday and so much love was outpoured on me. I had to reach out and into receive a deepening of receiving to take in all the love that was there, for me. There was a sharing of such gorgeous stories of my relationships with all of the people at my party as well as how they feel about me in their lives. It was an exercise of opening, expanding and allowing all of this in. I feel everyone should experience this at least once a year. We have no idea how we touch people.

And then of course on the day I got to got to go to dance and be celebrated by the lift, I was high on life on top of being in their hands, being held by their arms, hearts and legs. All I could do it laugh and celebrate in the bliss of all these loving being surrounding me, supporting me and celebrating me. WOW! YES! YUMMY! BLISS to the max! And then right after that a girlfriend depants-ed (how do you spell that, goodness) me! Yep, and of course what do I do, I squeal! One guy came up to say thanks for the squeal, as it drew more attention to you!

I have been doing dance classes at my home for the past few months and Monday I decided to step it up and actually teach some of the aerial contact, stretches and trust exercises, it was so fun. I loved it! What was even more fun is to find that my kitty loves to dance too! Yes she dances and now even more so. I will be walking around the house and she’ll come out and grab my leg and swing around, no claws just dancing. She’ll walk under us as we dance, go through our legs, rub up against us and I’ll pick her up from time to time to include her more in the contact dance. It’s so great! I love that she is so social, so willing to join, very confident with everything and knows she won’t get squashed.

So this time alone, I’ve been really feeling gratitude for so much in my life, the people, my health, my ability to dance, to teach my passion and to share this with the people in my life. Though my biggest thing I’m grateful for is my community, of dancers, of tanticas, my friends that touch me. My life is full, my heart if full, I am touched my the ones close to me, the ones that I touch and how we move, grow, laugh, cry and expand together. I finally have best friends to share my life with and that has been a long time. If you remember all those months ago, my first month in Thailand I put my intention to have more females in my life and have a best friend that is female. Well I have that now and then some!

That brings me to intentions for the coming year, which I am so very excited for as I feel so supported. It’s so easy to run from our dreams. Though my dreams have never really changed, maybe shifted but not changed since I was 4 years old. The main one is “I am a dancer” that is and has been and always will be my truth. So this coming year, I’m creating a life where dance is the base of my life. Performing, teaching, creating, opening to more and expanding in the light of dance, which is my soul. I want Dance to be the center of my life and will be and so it is! It’s time, at 39 years old, though I feel 26 years old, it’s time to live this dream. How about you, what is your dream, your unlived dream? Something to think about, feel into and go for.

I spend my days now listening to music, dancing, filing music, working out, thinking of new ways to teach, looking at how to shift my space I teach in now and make it bigger-some new redecorating is in order! It’s time, commitment and a little time and it will happen! What is even more incredible is how much support I’m getting in all of this. I have people wanting to support me in giving me more ideas on how I can expand my work. So I’m thrilled to be creating with people on this project of dance, living, supporting myself and creating a life of dance.

On top of all of this, I am getting the chance to support others in their dreams with possibly being in their videos, etc. More on that later.

Life is good here, still a bit internal at times, but it feels good, healthy and very self loving.
Thanks for being in my life, thanks for being the precious soul you are. I appreciate you.
Much love to you, Heather

PS. Remember to tell the ones you love, that you love them, as you may not get a second chance! XXXOOO

A Real Day Off!!!

November 18, 2008

A Real Day Off!

I woke up this morning from a very blissful yesterday. I had a great work out yesterday, I did some Tantric work with a friend that was so healing for both of us. I was the giver but man oh man, you really heal on both sides, being the giver and receiver in this glorious work. It opens one up to all the issues at hand, our blocks, fears and has us go in deeper, dive in, feel, sense, eyes open….fully awake, incredibly conscious we grow, let go and go through our stuff. It is so magical to be doing such deep work, so consciously. I can’t tell you how fulfilling it is to be touched consciously, to touch consciously.

It doesn’t matter if it’s sexual or arousing, non arousing…it’s the fact that you can feel love coming into your body, or going out into another’s body. That bring a certain centered, energy rising, relaxed feeling within. It is so comforting to the soul to know that the one who is touching is touching out of love, not need, not wondering about the next step or if we are going have sex…..as it’s all healing….there is no sex, there is no next step, it’s conscious loving touch, it’s raising the energy and letting it expand and open and then spreading it through the body and then raising, relaxing all over again. It’s expansion like I’ve never known and all in safe hands of a friend, not a lover, just a loving friend.

So after this Tantric afternoon I went to a friends place to dance amongst friends. Through opening to give this work earlier it opened me to really give and receive energy in the dance and Pow, Boom, Bang!!!! Passion, love, heart opening experiences happened. The fear of “what if….this or what if that” left the building, my energy was open, everyone felt it and thank goodness it was contagious and we all just took off in sensual delight of a dance. I raised my friends into the air, I taught the dance I love so much through flying them into the air, having them laugh, melt and fall in love with the dance even more. Honestly it just cracks me up to lift someone and have them immediately laugh, look at me and the feeling that pours from them is love, love of the dance, love for being there and the love for the dancer holding them, that would be me-it’s powerful. One guy that showed up that night, new to energy got so opened, he was vibrating for some days afterward, very powerful stuff and so healing.

Since it was my friends birthday and after a lovely delicious and intimate night of dance we all gave him a clothed massage until I broke out the ice cream…..we used him as beautiful tray and ate the ice cream off his back….well at least the women did, the men weren’t too into that with another man. He laughed with joyous bliss and we closed in a very intimate hug of the group.

This morning, after 8 hours of sleep, waking up at 9am, I curled up, snuggled and cuddled with Sukhi, she purred and just drank it in. Then I was up to check emails, get some breakfast going, just being in the moment. It was lovely. I decided to give Sukhi her first bath for no reason but to get her used to the water. I went into the tub with her. I put her down into the tub and she turned in fright and hung on to me, no claws-amazing how she can do that. She was so scared…I just held her, let her move, let her cling to me and then when she realized I was there, she wasn’t going to drown she relaxed and sat there with me. She allowed me to put water on her as she looked up at me checking in with me. I think making sure she was ok. I feel since I was in there with her she felt safer. It was a bonding moment for us. I grabbed her towel, wrapped her up in it and took her into the living room, rocking her like a baby, drying her slowly as she gazed up at me knowing she was ok and feeling safe in my arms.

After putting her down I walked into the other room, I sat down and picked up one of my Tantra books to read more on the subject. Reading about women and Tantra, and how important having our own practice is and how our bodies respond to stimulation, orgasm, sex and pregnancy. It was so powerful to read about. It got me very centered, very here and now. It woke something up in me even more powerful then it was just yesterday, a centeredness, an awakening to do the practice and go to share the energy with others.

As the day moved on, I drove down to the beach and took a walk. The beach beckoned me like a moth craving that flame. I needed to be outside, I needed the fresh air, the sound of the sea and the sand beneath my feet. As I walked something told me to stop, stop here. So I did. I lay down on my sarong and went into this deep place of the now. My mind of course left and came back but honestly there wasn’t a whole lot of attachment to the thoughts, the thoughts just passed. So gorgeous to just feel my body on the sand, to be present, to feel my body pressing into the sand, the perfect temperature of the sun radiating on my body, the breeze was just at the right speed for comfort and presence.

I stayed there for I’m not sure how long….all I do know is two things, one is I usually get off the beaching saying “I have to do this or that” pushing myself to leave, but today there wasn’t that, I was just in bliss for having this glorious time there, I felt very full and not rushed. As I stood and walked to my car I felt, now this is a day off. No plans, no where to be, just being present, reading, writing, being in nature….opening, seeing the thoughts, feeling my feelings and moving forward. I learned so much in the time of relaxation, no stressful thoughts-well one, when this man yelled at me on the road, but oh well….: ) I moved on. I got back to my car and the second thing I noticed was that I’d been out there for 2 ½ hours, WOW, how lovely. Then it really felt like a real day off.

Last week I went with a girlfriend to Deep Creek. This is a magical place the people drive 2- 2 ½ hours to hike down to this river about 45 minutes to let go of the city. You strip off. No need for clothes there, there were a few locals there as it wasn’t the weekend. And we all sat in the numerous natural hot springs, then dip in the ice cold river and back to the hot springs. Laying on the earth was just lovely, feeling the warmth, the cold, all of it was so lovely. It was a hard decision at first to go, I felt like I was playing hooky from school, which I didn’t even do in school…but I had no clients that day and said “what the heck” and went for it. I’m glad I did. I came back to dance with friends until midnight and then passed out.

That relaxed feeling from the hot springs stayed with me through out the next day.
I see everyone around me, including myself going through so much lately, so much is being worked through. I think it’s partly the holidays coming up, the new year coming up pressing on them that another year is here and the reality that dreams want to come out of all of us and they want to be looked at, felt and manifested. I can feel them all happening.

I know for me I am being requested more and more every week to teach dance so I feel I’m weeks away from that, maybe sooner. I teach it to people anyway, so why not have a class with it. How fun! We might as well enjoy what we do for work, it allows more success into our lives and passion for others to see, feel and grow from.

I’ve been thinking about success and what it takes to be a successful person. And what I have really gotten is not that they have made a lot of money, the dollar amount doesn’t make someone successful. It’s the amount of joy and happiness they get from their work and the allowance of love all around them. This is what makes one successful. So if we can just remember to do what we love, what we are passionate about we will grow in success, as people will see you love it and they will come to you. We’ve all seen the opposite, why not choose the other way, it really is the easier path, for the heart and soul that is and sometimes even for the body.

That night, last Tuesday I received another Tantric Healing session and it was powerful, the tears, the tenderness, the passion, the ecstaticness, sadness and so much that came up to be seen, felt, embraced, breathed through and to be held in the light of love no matter what. Such beautiful, healing work. I am grateful for this time, for this work and for the power to grow.

May you be healing, may you find success in all areas of your life and may you be surrounded by love always.
Love and blessings, Heather

Mommihood, Dreams Coming True & On International Radio!

Hello there,
How are you? I hope you are finding fun, play and exploration in your life everyday! For me Sukhi is keeping me on my toes. I really have gotten a small taste of what it would be like to be a mommy. And oh my goodness the motherly intincts that kick in are powerful- to protect, to clean, to nurture, to care for. I was driving her in my car and I was extra aware of her being in my car and driving more safely.

In the photos above are a few of her favorite places to be-in the window for fresh air and light, next to my computer when I am working and then a few with me. She will also lay in the bed of a plant I have too.

I have a funny story, this happened this morning. Now Sukhi has a fascination with the bathroom. I'm not sure if it's because the door is always shut and she can't get in there all the time or what, but she loves to play with the little hair catchers and fly them all over the bathroom. She loves to study, sit, lick and play in the sink and the tub. She has even gotten so curious whilst I'm taking a bath that she fell in. Oh the poor thing didn't know what hit her. I wrapped her up in my towel and cuddled her up until she was ready to come out of the towel.

Well this morning beat that. She heard me in the bathroom, she came flying around the corner and without knowing or thinking she flew up onto the toilet, where the toilet seat was up and in she went into the toilet-YIKES!!! To make it worse what she didn't know was it wasn't clean water-not that you wanted to know that.

I realized the next step and chased after her, hoping she wouldn't get on anything, I grabbed her, put her in the tub and she officially had her first bath. She did so well...so much that by the end I didn't even have to keep my hands on her. She just sat there and got bathed, rinsed and then let me wrap her up, dry her off until she was ready to lick herself off and go off to play again.

I have to say she has really changed my life, opening my heart, showing me how to just cuddle with her in the mornings, she makes me realize there is more to life then to focus on work, though I almost feel that there is space for me to really go in and dream my dreams, and now they are manifesting.

Firstly, about 3 months ago I realized day and night I started really dreaming of the dance the I do with Rob, which we call Aerial Contact. We tend to dance and create more and more of it 3-6 times a week. It so thrills and excites me. I actually get depressed if I don't get to do it for a week, my whole system is just so happy when I'm flying. But something shifted about 6-8 weeks ago with it. About 2 months ago I started having dance in my home every Thursday and once I started that I started lifting and flying people. I have no fell in love with flying people, lifting them into the air and just allowing them to float, fly, flow and dance, swing or what ever they need to do.

I love doing this especially with people who haven't flown before as once they come down off me they look completely blissed out. It's as if they had a little peice of heaven, one of my friends told me it was as if he went back to the womb or being held by his mother, very safe and held so warmly.

Men have a special reaction to it especially when a woman lifts them. First none of them can believe me, being around 125 lbs, can lift them being 165-185 lbs. But after some practice and time I can do it and it's so fun. Now I can't take them to my shoulders but it's so delicious to take them around my waist and as high as I can,sometimes to my chest. It's so much fun and they are just completely in heaven to be held, flown and slowly moved.

Even some of my female friends are just so excited they can't get enough. I keep getting people asking me to teach it, so I am teaching it more and more in my home and will probably make it more of a class soon instead of just friends coming over. One of my next steps is to start performing this work. It's so powerful and intimate. It teaches people balance, slowing down, strength and how to be in relationship with another and it truly is a meditation. It takes me to God or Spirit higher and faster then anything I have ever felt in my life.

I have been turned on to something in the past few weeks that involves lifting and I had never thought about. But it combines Acrobats with Yoga and after watching these people lift people into yoga poses with their legs and arms, I just had to be a part of it. I took two classes. The second one sold me on it. I was in an odd mood all day-it had been a hard week with work, etc, but I went the class and came out high as a kite and my business turned around the next day!

So the following weekend I went off to their 3 day workshop and explored some really fun work of Acroyoga. What I really loved about it is how community oriented it is, how you stretch with others and really get to connect with people.

Life is really taking me in a direction I love. I am getting ready for another change that has to do with dance, but it is still brewing and I can let you know when it is manifested.

The other HUGE thing that has happened lately was I was on International Radio the other day. This has been in the plans for months and it finally happened. It went out to over a million people world wide. This woman who does a radio show dreamt of interviewing someone that teaches Tantra/Sacred Sexuality and her name was Heather. So she went into her computer, punched that in and came up with me. We got along great. Deborah is an amazing spirit, the woman who interviewed me. We just really click. So we put it into action, it got postponed several times and then finally Thursday we had a great one hour session and she wants me back for Valentines. It will be up on the internet for uploading for free for 3 months in 2 weeks. So I'll let you know about that.

That interview really lifted me, I was so excited. This week with the whole president election, I think with astrology, etc everyone is in an emotional state. Most everyone I know are really inward and having breakdowns and break throughs whilst spending time alone. I have felt this hugely. Firstly on Tuesday as the election was going on and the day went on I could feel people starting to breathe. It was as if all of of the US or LA had been holding their breath and when they realized we were about to have the change we needed and it was here everything started to relax.

So then by that night everyone exploded in tears, laughter, the fear was released. On Wednesday is when it really hit me and I just let the tears flow, finally, the change has happened. I could feel the Universe around me breathe and my shoulders could come down and I could melt into my life. The moment I released all the pent up holding, pain, fear, angst and the relief came into me, knowing the business would be looking up and soar. Sure enough, I got booked Wednesday. I was blessed last week with some great new clients that I've already had repeat sessions with.

So the US is calming. I'm very excited by this. Finally, we had a real election, got a real life family president, no cheating on the ballets, no fake president, a real person and for the first time an African American President for us, but more importantly is a real family man. WE need that for America.

So between dance, friends, my kitty, working on an invention for people to help their dance, hiking, working out, lifting people and back writing, (started my writing class again!!!!) I am busy, though some slow times here and there. Actually starting to buddy up with people to get projects done. As us self employed people can really get un-action oriented so we are really reaching out and starting to feel a need to keep one another on track. It's very exciting.

May all your loving heart dreams come true. I would love to hear what you are up to. Even if it's the struggle for getting out of the struggle. I've been there, I'm there almost every week at times. Life has it's ups and downs, we just have to keep thinking the next higher vibrational thought. The thought that supports us to be more positive, go further, reach higher. We all need support, so reach out, the pain we all have is a shared pain, we are never alone and maybe someone will inspire you to look a little more positive, give you a hand with a loving word and then life will brighten up.

I've been listening to Esther & Jerry Hicks lately and they just blow me away. I love it. I use their work so often now within my life. I highly recommend them. She channels a spirit named Abraham who is actually several spirits but has much to teach and share with us about moving into a higher frequency.

I send you love and many hugs, Blissfully, Heather

Here is a poem I wrote about Sukhi the other day:
November 5, 2008

Sukhi in the Morning

I woke to her in the curve of my neck
Yes, nuzzled in there
Nice and tight
Warm and softly breathing
I nuzzled her with my chin
She took her arm across my chest
Pressing in closer
Relaxing deeper
More contently
Ever so sweetly
As I petted her with my chin
She started purring
Yes it got so loud with love
So in love
It made my heart sing
After minutes she rose to face me
With her sleepy little face
Her golden eyes not quite open
Her half black, partially white and orange face
Looking at me sleepily
And I knew,
I knew
I am her mommy
This is Sukhi in the Morning with Me

It's a GIRL!!!! Sukhi!!!

Hello there Blessed Ones,
How are you? Much is going on recently, lots of yummy things. But firstly, I have added a member to my family!!! Yes that is right, I have a baby now. She is gorgeous, lovely, soft, sweet, gentle and purrs me to sleep at night. Yes she is a kitten. She was born the last week in July and she has been a HUGE light in my life for the past month now. Her name is Sukhi, which means "to be happy". I first heard the name in India, and I fell in love with it. And she is a very happy one too.

My first night with her sleeping with me, she put her forehead on mind and vibrated my head to the sound of her very loud purring. As sweet as it was and ever so delightful and wanting to stay there forever in that delicious space, I couldn't sleep with that motor of hers going. She sleeps right up against me every night and cuddles and purrs and is just a love every morning now. At first she just wanted to play as she was used to her 3 siblings which were in the other room with my roommate. But after they all moved out Sukhi completly calmed down the mornings, well until I get up that is. Then it's time to play with me, my foot, knee, claw up my pant leg to sit on my lap. Yes I have tons of little holes in my legs now. Not very good for shorts, but if it's hot enough everything-scratches and all show.

She is a life send though. I feel she has bonded me to something more then just myself. It is such a beautiful thing to take time out each day to love on her, play with her, talk with her. I feel like my life has so much more meaning now after I committed to taking her on as my little one. I watch her grow every day and she seems huge now. I tried to convince her to age but in a small body but she seems not to be listening.

She is such a treat in my life. I have had some fun talking to people about the best way to care for her and feeding her raw food such as meat and veggies and flax seed oil for her gorgeous coat. I feel like a mother really.

Though the only thing I can say I don't like about being a parent is, how many times a day do we adults say no to the little ones. It drives me crazy. I want to just say yes to her. But now I know why we as humans hear no so many times by the time we are 3 years old. It's probably the most popular word and repressive. But with a kitten, what other word can I use, so I try sounds and other little things. Finding ways of showing her not to do this or that-like eating the plant or climbing up the curtains or wall hangings.

She has taken to sleeping in the pots in the cabinets....makes you very aware of washing them before you go to cook, though it is precious. She has all kinds of lovely things that makes her unique. She loves to play in the tub-no water of course, unless it's after a shower, she likes being in there. She crawls in between the glass and the screen in the windows and she crawls up the glass, not the screen. It's like she is rock climbing on glass. I love it, as long as it stays on the glass. She loves to hang out in the corner of my home where I have a little shrine with photos of Amma and the Dali Lama. That seems to be her favorite corner.

She loves to eye gaze at times too, which I love. But then it gets a little intense for her at times and when it does she wiggles closer and closer to me and then reaches out and WHACKS my nose. The last two times her claws were not in, so my nose is just now healing. Not used to all the scratches. But honestly when you have so much love for a little being you don't really think about it. Like her breaking part of my lotion holder I have had since I was 16 years old and love so much, it's beautiful not to get mad, it's just a thing and I can fix it really.

So I'm in love, if you can't tell. There is so much more to my life right now. It's explosive and beautiful. It is the most intense time for me of feeling I'm FINALLY coming into what I am really to be doing in this life to fulfill the rest of my life. Though I don't have time right now to expound on that. But it is GREAT! I look forward to sharing it with you. Maybe tomorrow if I get the chance.
I send you so much love and so many hugs, Love, Heather

More Photos of Rob's Birthday!

Yes! So much love, happiness and joy here with our gorgeous dance community of friends. The bond of dancers is powerful and can light a fire like nothing else!
Much love, many blessings and many dances left in all of us! I'll see you in our dance of life! Love, Heather

Rob's Surprise Birthday Party!!!!

And YES it was a surprise! Thank goodness! I love these photos, show so much love. But what I find funny is the one me, that looks like I'm 3 years old waiting for the balloon to come down so I can "get it" hit it back up. But look at the bliss Rob was in on his special day, nothing beats that!
Love it! Great to give back to someone who gives so much, so thrilled so many showed up! Much love and thanks to everyone for showing up and all your lovely gifts by your presence and words. Love, Heather

Dancing at my house! First night!

so were all mushed together
slow, softly, cuddling
dog piled, moving slowly
stretching, pushing, rising
falling, blissing, smelling
feeling, touching, tasting,some even sweating
sweet nectar of life
3 boys 2 girls, a pile of love
a pile of love
mashed in with each other by choice
through love, the the softly lite room
of life and dance
yes, life and dance
dance is my life
life is a dance

-Heather Rhea Dawn-

mmmmmm...oh, you. August 22, 2008

yes, my sweet friend
thank you for last night
so delicious to have you here
oh oh oh.....to hold you, dance with you
be near you, what a treat
love love love....oh yes love
i loved our melting pot of friends
moving differently together
yes moving differently together
like life really, yes life
life is good my friend
so happy you are back in my life
in my playground
my childhood friend, play play play
let's feel, play, grow, expand, cry, be in joy and
bliss-out together, bliss-in together
my childhood friend, yes childhood friend, you, that's you
my friend
I look forward to more of this, Sunday, next week maybe
you are always invited to move with me, in my home
on the streets, in a car, on a trail....yes move with me
beautiful!
you me, moving, dancing, in words, no words
in joy and bliss, yet in tears and sorrow
it's all good, oh it's all good

I hug you, yes I hug you, I hug your soul
your soul
your soul has been hugged
I like that, "like pouring milk", yes like pouring milk you said
so is love
love is like milk pouring over you, sometimes slow and soft and flowing
and sometimes fast and almost shocking
And then sensuously falling...like laying back on a bed of feathers as milk pours over you
love pours over you

and then there is
sex on a stick.....Oh I like this one too...you said it....oh that can be taken so many different delicious ways
yes so delicious, or de-lick-sious
get the visual? I'm sure you do my sensuous, luscious one
licking......ummmmm...yes you thought I was going to say it
nope, you know
you know.

-Heather Rhea Dawn-

Love, Focus, Creativity and Passionate Living!

Hello there,
Wow it's been a month since I've written. I had no idea that much time had flown by!!! How are you? How is life for you? For me life is like it has never been before. There is a peace within me. My heart seems to be opening more and more. And ask that happens my creativity, independence, my need to ask for what I need, make a stand for a boundary or need or desire. It's a powerful feeling to feel so much love and to be able to have it to give, not only to others, but to yourself.

I'm still learning this and also learning to own the power in the love within me and not crawl down out of my heart when I do something that I feel is making as stand for me and my needs and having to disappoint another through it. I get that we will always disappoint someone, maybe hurt someone by our choices of loving ourselves, but we have to live with us for the rest of our lives and it shows the world how to stand for themselves in the mean time. Not an easy thing to do sometimes, but to give space, permission to just love and love the people being triggered in their process of it all.

I have gotten to open my eyes hugely this month of how to care take with so many and to change that is a shock either to them or for me. My time I spend alone is so much nicer now. It's really quality time doing what I want to be doing. And doing it with such passion and vigor that I didn't even hear the phone ring.

I'm getting closer and closer to the goals and dreams I want to expand on. They are just lovely and feels so good to be working toward them. I can share a few but the other ones are brewing and need to be held for a bit time still.

I am in the process of making my garage a creative space, ordering everything to do batiking and now just looking for the right table. I'm looking at buying a serger to do the sewing I want to do. To make the creations I dream of. Who knows all the ideas that can come out of this. I'm actually considering taking private sewing lessons, since I've basically taught myself to sew since I was 16 years old.

I went camping for the first time in my life alone! I drove up to Ojai, about 1 1/2 hours away if you go the freeways. It's lovely, ever so lovely up there. I turned off the main road to the tiny road to get there and all of a sudden a whiff licorice filled all my senses as I drove up the windy road to my camp site. I hung in my hammock, played in the river, took a walk and fixed some dinner that night.

The next day was the best. I took off onto a trail I'd been recommended and met up with some locals and they said "you don't want to go on that one, all the people go there, we are going to the best place". So I tagged along and who knows what eye candy was held and the other spot, but as we went up this trail, turned on this one, curved over here and went boulder hopping here, river crossing there, off the trail and around the rocky path there, we came to the most awesome swimming hole!!!! Wow!

Not knowing I was going swimming off came the clothes to underwear and t-shirt and SPLASH I went in! These girls were great, early 20's, really peaceful, fun, down to earth, wanting so share this place with me. Though told me I couldn't tell all of LA about it! We swam, played, ate fruit, watched the water snakes, I watched them screech away from them and have these tiny things keep them from being in the water. But after a bit, realizing they weren't attacking me they realized they could go in. But what was so hilarious to watch them not take their eyes off of the snakes. The snakes were probably much more scared of us as I see it, we are HUGE! But then I've always been the crazy female that loved snakes, ever since I can remember.

I was so grateful they showed me this place, so very very grateful. When their group of 6 male friends showed up to go for a dip and then for them to continue to the next swimming hole and up to a waterfall-only 5 more hours, and it was already 4pm, I declined. I hugged them good bye and thanked them and slowly made my way out, taking in the view of the trees, river and trying to remember which way was out. Luckily I have a good sense of direction and got out. It was a little piece of heaven back there. How lovely to be taken under a locals wing and shown the way to a fabulous place to be in nature. They also had directed me to the most adorable cafe in the next town over.

I got there and it was a inside and outside cafe, it had a chai bar, so you go up choose your size, pour it and pay for it and have a sit, yes have a sit as I say!!! Free wireless services and some groovy band beat to go with it. So nice to sit outdoors and have a chai!

The next morning I woke up in dire need to dance, I went further out looking for a flat space, danced for a half hour and just cut loose only to realize now I just wanted to dance more. So running back to my camp, throwing everything in my car as I fixed breakfast and driving just at or a smidge above the speed limit I got myself down to my dance class. Leaving at 11:06am, when class started at 11:15am, I drove the 1.5 hours and got there with 1.5 hours of dance left to get my groove on. It was PERRRRRFECT! I had the best dances with everyone I came in contact with and got to dance out all the dances I needed to dance.

Afterward I went to hang with everyone from dance and just had a blast connecting with them. It must have been 5 or 6pm by the time I made it home to unload my stuff and then head to the airport to pick up Rob since he'd been out of town-I wasn't supposed to come back until Monday, but I had a feeling I may come back Sunday so I went to pick him up.

That weekend I started writing poetry and it still fills me, it's so nice to create such pieces of art. Just to sit down and have it flow out, not being work at all but just letting it spill forth.

This past week I must have danced 11 or 12 hours. I got back into doing some Dance Alive classes, got together with friends a few times to dance, went to a friends party, danced there as well as my Sunday class. Just lovely! I may start having dancing at my home every week too....so many wonderful ideas flowing out of me right now, it's the time to embrace our creativity and just go for it. I see it all around me too and it's so inspiring. Watching people I have known for years just blossom into full, complete and grown up people. But still embracing their child like self as well, so passionate and alive!

I had to get really focused on what I wanted when it came down to going through the colon hydrotherapy training...it was a challenge but I got that I am just a curious sort that loves that kind of info but it's not for me to be doing, I just love the knowledge of it all.

Then in canceling Canada, the class wasn't coming together and I really got how much I just needed to be home, nest some, feel my roots and stop "going" so much. So it was a relief though I miss seeing my girlfriend up there. I know it was the right choice for me.

So this month has been about focus, creativity, love, seeing what I'm passionate about, getting more into my own-ness, my one-ness, independence and dance and explore within that as well as be true to myself.

May you be finding and living your creative life, may your heart come alive with everything you do and may you bring power and abundance to that which you love. Be the light, be your love, and allow every part of you to shine and life will fall into place beautifully. As someone told me once, "we don't have to know the, how, we just have to know the, what, and go for it." Meaning we don't need to know how we are going to get to where we are going, we just need to know what we want and allow for that intention to blossom and after many baby steps we will get there.

Much love and many hugs to you, Heather

My love....

Hello my gorgeous, spritely and going through the muck of life Goddess!!!

Like that title? I made it up just for you, just this second, oh yes, yes, just for you! Say it 5 times fast and keep a straight face, oh yes, oh yes, do, please do......I hope that lifted your heart up and out of your chest to beam as brightly as we all, the world, see you. And still it's ok to be exactly where you are too. And still it's ok to be exactly where you are. Yes.

I love you, you are great, special, no one can replace you, your dance, your light, your breath, your talent, your scent, no one, no one, no one.......get it....you are one of a kind.....precious, like a rare gem, precious! YOU, yes YOU, YES YOU! YOU YOU YOU YOU!

Oh my love, I hug you, I really HUG you. Funny, I can see myself at your place, all cuddled up together after sharing a glorious meal and just eye gazing, maybe sharing, laughing, possibly tears.....quiet...yes quiet. You and I....You and I.

Being, sharing in the silence of isness, what is, beingness, Being, yes being, You and I.

Bliss! Thank you!
With Radiant Love,
-Heather Rhea Dawn-

This is to you, you know who you are!

I Cannot Make You Safe, August 7th, 08

I cannot make you safe
You have to find that within you
I can tell you everything I know
Everything I said
Everything I felt
But you……You and only you can make you safe
You have to trust
Finding that path of trusting you, your choices
That is all of our paths
I cannot give that to you
So what ever you need to know
What ever you need to do
I can hold your hand
I can lend you my ear
But my love, you have to go alone and find your truth
Trust and feeling safe comes from within
I know, I have looked outside too
I have asked your questions
I have feared the answers not being true
I have feared the answers, period
We are in need of the truth, but the truth is within
It starts with us, our inner higher being
Our heart tells us

So I won’t change for you
I’ve done that, it does not work
I will be me
I’ll do this not only for me but for you
As for me being me, will help you grow and if I can do that, it’s what I wish
So I will not change so you will feel safe, please don’t ask, though you have, I will not
And please, you don’t change so I can feel safe
As I too need to feel safe within me and that is embracing you being you
Our growth will be much stronger & more powerful in just accepting & embracing each other
Not fearing each other, by asking each other to change
So I will not change and will not ask you to change

If you have a question, ask, I am here
I have nothing to hide
My hiding is over

Do I still feel fear, oh yes, but I feel it, face it and go through it
I pray I stay uncaged and lift the curtain to show all my flaws, my fear, my vulnerability
All those soft, tender areas that are painful to touch and are sensitive to even look at
Those little pink parts in me that scream to be healed, to receive love
And I pray that you will not fear my sensitivities or pull away, but embrace them
As I am you, you are me, and together we are one
Please, don’t run from my imperfections, my vulnerability….as mine are yours too
And yours are within me
We are all each others teachers, healers, students
Please don’t run, we are learning, if you allow it, we are growing, together
I am not perfect,
We are not perfect
But the need to be with each other, within community
This is where we grow, expand, heal and see each other in the bigger sense of the word
Please take my hand, let’s walk together as one
Let’s heal together, support each other
When the ground gets loose with soil and you start to fall, I’ll extend my hand and help you back up
I am not perfect, I pray you can forgive and have compassion for my imperfections, embrace them and see that I too have tripped and fallen
I too have lessons to learn and need a hand from time to time

So…..I will not change for you
I will grow
I will honor you
I will listen and share what ever I can to support you
But….. do you want a teacher or just someone to hear you?
Someone to show you the way or someone to just support you and not show you the truth?
If you allow me, I can be your teacher as you are mine
Will you allow me in?

I cannot make you safe
Safety comes from within
Safety is within

I cannot make you safe
-Heather Rhea Dawn-

A Poem for You- Dance with God!

For you my love, thanks for being an inspiration to me. For as I dance with you I find, see, feel and smell God, through you-

Dance with God!

When I dance with you
My heart sings
Yes it sings
To the heavens above
It sings the most beautiful music
High, clear, crisp notes
The notes float as I dip and soar
Within your arms
Your hands that hold me so securely, so safely
It is there that I fly
It is there with you
On the dance floor
In your loving embrace, that is where I melt, float & explode open
To meet God, the God in You
Within your eyes, I see God
Within your soul I feel God
Within your touch
I know, I know who I am, who you are, who God is
We become one, you and I
And together we are Oneness, Flow, Universal Love, Passion
We Glow
We Are God
In our dance, We Are God
Let’s continue our song, our flight, our explosion of life
On the ecstatic floor of life
Let’s flood the earth with our love, our light
And dance our Hearts desire
You and I and God, as One
We Dance
Dance as God
-Heather Rhea Dawn-

Dance is My Heart!

I Dance

I dance because it's who I am

I dance as it shows my soul

It bares my soul.......to me, to others, to you

I share my dance as it gets me closer to You, to God, to Me

My dance is who I am, it's what I breathe, I eat, I feel, I see, I cry, I laugh and I play

Without it.....I am nothing

It's who I am

It saves me from my mind-the chatter

It saves me from going crazy

I meet you there...yes I meet YOU there, as it's where I meet ME there and it's the only place I can meet anyone truly.

Well, there and in the breath, but where is dance if there is no breath and where is there breath with no dance?

They go hand and hand

I dance you in, I breathe you in, and as I do I breathe me in, I breathe me in fully

As it is my flow

It's my heart

Dance is my breath

Yes, my breath

Without it I die

Yes without it I Die

Do you feel that? Hear that? I die without it.

I've died before, it's painful, it's lonely, there is anguish

The heart beat continues but I am not there, I am dead, I did not dance

But now I do, so I breathe, I live, I feel and I DANCE

It's my life....what is your dance, what is your life?

My life is dance, my dance is breath, my breath is life and that....is my HEART!

It's where I meet You..... Me..... & God

DANCE is my Heart, Dance IS my Heart, Dance is my HEART!

Dance is who I am.

Dance!

-Heather Rhea Dawn-

When will you follow your Heart?

When will we wake up?

When will we wake up and only do what our heart wants us to?

When will we take the chance and follow our heart?

Our Heart, it is the one true thing that wants to be listened to

What is it saying?

What is your Heart saying?

What is Our Heart saying?

The One Heart

The Heart beat of life

When will we follow our Heart?

Today? Tomorrow? When?

When will you follow your Heart?

And when will I?

The Heart Knows!

-Heather Rhea Dawn-

Compassion

Compassion: Universal Panacea

Only compassion is therapeutic, because all that is ill in man is because of lack of love. All that is wrong with man is somewhere associated with love. He has not been able to love, or he has not been able to receive love. He has not been able to share his being. That’s the misery. That creates all sorts of complexes inside.

Those wounds inside can surface in many ways: they can become physical illness, they can become mental illness — but deep down man suffers from lack of love. Just as food is needed for the body, love is needed for the soul. The body cannot survive without food, and the soul cannot survive without love. In fact, without love the soul is never born — there is no question of its survival.

That’s why I say compassion is therapeutic. What is compassion? Compassion is the purest form of love. Sex is the lowest form of love, compassion the highest form of love. In sex the contact is basically physical; in compassion the contact is basically spiritual. In love, compassion and sex are both mixed, the physical and the spiritual are both mixed. Love is midway between sex and compassion.

You can call compassion prayer also. You can call compassion meditation also. The highest form of energy is compassion. The word compassion is beautiful: half of it is passion — somehow passion has become so refined that it is no more like passion. It has become compassion.

In compassion, you simply give. In love, you are thankful because the other has given something to you. In compassion, you are thankful because the other has taken something from you; you are thankful because the other has not rejected you. You had come with energy to give, you had come with many flowers to share, and the other allowed you, the other was receptive. You are thankful because the other was receptive.

Compassion is the highest form of love.

The greatest anguish in life is when you cannot express, when you cannot communicate, when you cannot share. The poorest man is he who has nothing to share, or who has something to share but has lost the capacity, the art, of how to share it; then a man is poor.

The sexual man is very poor. The loving man is richer comparatively. The man of compassion is the richest — he is at the top of the world. He has no confinement, no limitation. He simply gives and goes on his way. He does not even wait for you to say a thank-you. With tremendous love he shares his energy.

This is what I call therapeutic.

Unless compassion has happened to you, don’t think that you have lived rightly or that you have lived at all.

Compassion is the flowering. And when compassion happens to one person, millions are healed. Whosoever comes around him is healed. Compassion is therapeutic.

Osho

Photos, Mexico!

This is the lovely Lab, Macho, I met on the beach with his owner. The purple outfit is the one that was loaned to me for Bling Bling night-as it had little sparkly things on it. The third one is of two men walking up the beach playing music, probably on their way to work or maybe it was their work. This is the pharmacy that sells Viagra, right there, on the sign and a list of a number of things can get drugged up on! And then there are the swing bars, the customers just sit on these swings as they drink themselves silly or just enjoy the view! They had these in town and the resort on the "dark side".
Enjoy! Love, Heather

Playgirl, Beach, Peaceful Within, Inspired

Hello there,

Photos: they are from places I went snorkeling, I went up in that big sail and jumped out into the ocean. In one place you can see the fish from before you dive in to go snorkeling, the one photos is from the octipus they got out there and inked everyone, fun fun, and then there is the ocean, the gorgeous ocean that speaks so beautifully!

How are you? How is life? I am good, I’m back in LA again and readjusting.

Just imagine, waking up from a great night sleep of 8 hours, it’s 6:30am. You stretch, from the tips of your fingers to the absolute ends of your toes. The soft cotton sheet surrounding you, in the perfect temperature of the room. Your first thought is, “life is amazing”…opening your eyes only to confirm that, with the white soft curtains surrounding the bed draping down and bound in each corner. You get up slowly, walk to the curtains that hold the sunlight out and pull them back. The warmth of the day that was held back even at 6:30am nudges in, you smell the warmth and it softens your sinus cavities and your shoulders relax even more. Pulling open the other drapes of the oval shaped window area that opens to the bathtub on the otherside that looks out over the ocean. Stepping to 3 feet to the window, opening the window and the screen, to unblock anything from really seeing the shocking view of the light blue to dark blue ocean, the gorgeous sky with a few white puffy clouds, the sun hasn’t quite made it up yet but it’s on it’s way, almost there…..looking down the clear blue swimming pool with it’s alley of water that goes to each ground floor room below, as I stand the 3rd floor looking at the whiteness of the resort glow from the sun coming up and showing it’s light onto it, awakening it to the day.

Seeing one or two couples starting to stir down there, reading in a chair, or the hanging lounge beds made for two. Smelling the soft ocean breaze, “Life is good”, yes it is, “all the time” as I hear Michael Beckwith in my head and the congregation. Sitting, breathing it all in through my nose, skin, eyes, mouth and even more peace flows over me, feeling ever so lucky to be here now. How fortunate. Just taking it all in, a clear mind, a passionate draw to be there now.

Taking up a book and reading on what ever your choice of the day it-health, Tantra, India, Love, etc. Then grabbing your durable sandals, short shorts, no shirt needed, your key, hat and sunglasses and off you are to your morning walk. You walk out of your room, “can I be nude here……? Yes, oh yes, I can”, such freedom, the sun shining on your skin and it warms to it with a little wetness coming to the surface, it illuminates, shines and shimmers in the light as you walk toward the beach. You skin that is already bronzed with the sun, used to the light of it all, the ocean breeze touching your breast and having you feel so alive, so awake and thrilled.

Walking over the coral beach and large sand pebbles, up over to the hard coral that is exposed, taking in that you are walking over shells that used to have living critters in them, some still do. Hermit crabs that jump back inside when you kneel down to them or the snails that are sucked up to a rock or another shell or smooth surface of some kind. Picking up a few gorgeous pieces of coral on your way, watching the waves come and splash upon the coral, high into the sky at times, the blue turning white in the sky and falling into the blue foamy ocean all over again.

The ocean taking taking away any worry you may have, cleaning your mind and allowing you to just be present with it. As if it was talking with you silently, collaborating with your soul and your desire to be here now, present. Your mind wants to kick in but then it lets go. Finding an amazing place to take in the view of the ocean, watching the sun come up, just taking in mother nature at her finest.

Walking back seeing the ocean in a completely more colorful view as you are looking in the direction of the sun this time around, seeing what the sun sees and you notice that the sun always sees the most colorful view of things as it shines light on everything. Wouldn’t that be nice to shine light on everything and everyone we look upon. Such beauty.

Going back, sitting down to a breakfast of fruit, granola, and yogurt looking out over the pool, the waiter bringing green tea and pineapple juice without even asking as they already know it’s what you love.

After breakfast, I’d teach 2 hours, then take some alone time or hang out with some of the guests and talk about their relationship or life it’s self. Then by that time it was lunch time and eating at the buffet of any kind of meat or fish on the grill, guacamole, homemade salsa, chips, salads, sushi on some days, and then some.

At two there was water volleyball-my favorite activity of the day. Wow that was a blast, it is such a group bonding thing. In the evening having dinner of salmon or lobster fettuccini, or a number of other things, with an avocado and crab salad and possibly some amazing soup.

At night there would be sometimes band that would play at dinner or after dinner in the “disco” an outside area that is covered, comfy couches, a Jacuzzi, fabric hanging from the ceiling blowing in the wind. Or there would be some Flamenco performance or Mexican performers, dancers, gymnasts, dance lessons or the perfect couple contest, all kinds of things offered.

So those were my days, they were gorgeous! The last Saturday I was there Playgirl sent a couple to interview me for their magazine. This couple was amazing, so full of love and life and so much fun. We talked for hours just really enjoying each others company. They came to my morning Body Awareness through Movement class. We had lunch together, then at 4pm I gave them a private session that was so heart-warming to witness and feel. Afterward they allowed me to take photos of them for my website and she realized she still hadn’t interviewed me so we met for dinner and had dinner and did the interview, it went great. Very simple and fun. We’ll be keeping in touch, having so much in common with food, receipts, etc. So look out for the Jan/February issue of Playgirl, I’ll be in there! Funny, they are putting me right next to an article on Guatemala-which is what I’m writing about.

All the couples I met this past month blew me away, opened my heart, inspired me to know love is so huge and so amazing. Working with couples that were married from anywhere from 15-39 years, still very much in love, and how they gave me so much hope to know there are couples out there that can still love after so many years together and know that some of them didn’t find their life partners until they were 40 years old. Also to know how much I helped them grow closer, that was pretty amazing, but they taught me a lot in just their beingness with each other. One couple in particular that I just loved said “friendship first then the relationship”, I could feel that, really feel it. There were the ones the most grounded, in love and felt the most healthy of all couples there. The inspired me the most, just the way they really liked each other, treated each other, interacted together and respected and accepted each other. Such touching beauty.

I have already been asked back by several guests and by the manager of the resort. Some guests are going to arrange their next trip to when I’ll be there. All that will need to be worked out. But it feels good to be asked to come back and wanted back there.

I’ll see where the journey leads me. I know this, as much as it was amazing and beautiful there, I missed home. Since I’ve traveled so much this past year and a half I am loving being home. Next time I hope to take someone with me. It would be great to have a friend to hang with on the off times and to share it with.

Last night I went to a dance performance, if you have never seen a performance of nude dancers doing contact dance, being lifted into the air you must see it. It pushed some peoples buttons to see that much of people, but I felt it was lovely, courageous and healing. On Monday night they are having a class for nude performing if I am back from an appointment I may go. It sounds incredible! If anyone in the Santa Monica area wants to go to the performance it’s still playing tonight and next weekend at Highways!
Much love to you all, many hugs, Heather

Hermit Crab Delight, Snorkeling, Home in 1 Week!!!

Hello there Loved Ones,
How are you? How is life treating ya? For me something shifted this morning for me….I was teaching a class and I was asking them to let go of what ever didn’t serve them…and man oh man if it didn’t work, not only for them but for me. The past 2 days I’ve felt a great desire just to come home, to my friends, my dance community and be where everything is known to me. But honestly it’s just people overload. I’m not used to being around so many people so much. Today it cleared though. So now I’m back strong in my happiness, in my appreciation of this life, this world, the gifts and many chances and choices I’ve been given in this life right here and right now. Yet I'll be seeing some of you in just one short week, oh how time flies!!!

Yesterday was a lovely day, it was my day off and a day I didn’t leave the resort but for a long walk out to the highway, up the highway and back again, dodging a few dead animals and getting my heart pumping with lovely, much needed exercise.

Today as I walked through the tropical down pour of rain through Playa del Carmen to pick up a few things I needed, get some gifts and have some delicious Mexican food, I felt the rain, each drop on my skin, clearing and cleaning my senses, opening them up for taking in the fresh air, the humidity that draped the inside of my body and outside. It felt magical to just walk slowly through the rain, celebrate it, not fear it, not run from it, just let it be, on me. Of course just like the movies I was wearing a white shirt and realized this isn’t the best place to be in a see through shirt in the rain. Luckily bathing suit tops work really great as bras and then I could go back to bring present and soaking up the rain and delight in it. I found a little street vendor that had something wrapped up in a banana leaf, she told me “tamale”, oh I was hungry, I hadn’t had breakfast and it was worth the wait. It was hand made, chunks of corn in it and oh so delicious!

This evening I had a blissful experience with a little hermit crab. Oh I just love them. I picked him up, went inside. But determined to come out again he came out, crawled up my arm, down my other arm, over my leg before I let the little one go on it’s merry little way. I felt I was a child again playing with such a precious little life.

I have been snorkeling twice in the past week, once was just amazing as we went out on a catamaran that was so smooth and relaxing, it could have lulled me right to sleep. We dove into the clear blue green water and the fish were going crazy even before we got in. There were hundreds, maybe even thousands of them swishing around here and there. I saw 2 barracudas and 1 green eel and 2 yellow and black spotted eels and a few lobsters, and a octopus that was taken onto the boat and inked a few people.

The guide would take food from a water bottle and squeeze the bottle into the home of a eel and then the fish would go crazy to eat it and the eel would come out pissed off and then go back in, I swam down and he must have been 1 ½ feet from my face, he was gorgeous for an angry little living being. Once when he did that, the fish went crazy and then as quickly as there got there they were gone and back again. It was so quick it took a minute to realize the barracuda had swam through getting food and the fish do not mess with them. It’s amazing that they can live just out in the open like that, living together in peace, possibly a little fear of being eaten but right there, no one is hiding out, they know he/she is there but they all live and give everyone distance…..hummm…..

The other snorkeling trip I went on my own down to a cove that connected with the ocean. There wasn’t a ton of fish but enough of them that were so beautiful, and glowing fluorescent greens, orange, red, yellow and a mix of rainbow colors that blow your mind and you try to imagine how such a lovely creature can glow and shine so brightly with just a little sun light. Maybe us humans are the same way. As the people here seem to come alive when the sun is out.

I actually got to teach every class this week as people are talking about my classes and now people are showing up every day, wondering if I am coming back and sharing with me their growth and it is making me so happy to add something to their lives and relationships. Asking them to slow down, to be present and honor each other….as much as they seem to fight it at first they seem to delight in it after only minutes.

I’ve been doing more private sessions and they are going so well, it’s a beautiful thing to watch two people ever so in love open up even more to their true nature together and expand in love, joy, bliss, truth and pleasure. I’m happy I am here.

I am loving the humidity here, it feels so good and I am actually getting a nice base tan-no tan lines!!!! This weeks group of people were truly amazing, I really connected with all of them on such a deep level. Most nights I had people I ate with, went over to the “dark side” to eat dinner with and talk to about life. I was thrilled to be talking with a Colon Hydrotherapist that absolutely loves what she does, we talked nutrition and colon talk, wow wow wow, how much fun. Of course her husband, who was just a great guy would come over and tease us about the conversation, they were the greatest couple, very fun, playful, flirtatious and alive. They invited me out to see them, which I may just do.

So I’m sitting here, outside in a gazebo on a great comfy couch writing this to you as the ocean wind sooths my skin and wakes up my senses even more. Smelling the salty air with just a hint of fishiness to it, but ever so lovely. I’m looking through palm trees and a huge basket full of colorful fruit that is being set up for dinner, as we having dinner at the beach tonight.

I got to work with a couple from Brazil who has studied Tantra before, such a beautiful couple! I’ll be seeing them in Brazil one day, I know that!

Ok, I need to go. I hope you are well, may all your dreams come true and may life hold you ever so lovingly in every moment, every breath and each heart beat. Much love to you, Heather

Can I be Naked Here?

Dearest Amigos,
How are you? I hope this finds you well and happy, your heart filled with passion for life and the chatter within our minds calm a little more each day and bring us presence. I noticed last night walking on the beach the difference between walking on how my mind can go and go, and then stopping and how my mind pauses for a while before chattering on. But then yesterday morning I noticed that in the being active I could direct my mind to the ocean, to my foot steps, to the coral and the present much easier as I walked and that my mind wasn’t so present when I stopped, but in hibernation or some kind of strange halt, not the present pause of beingness.

So what can I say, it’s beautiful here, I wake up each morning around 6:30am, I draw back the curtains to see the amazing ocean before me, the sun coming up, the palm trees blowing in the wind. I have a glass of juice as I sit and read or write, and prepare for class. I step out of my room and within a few steps a halting thought comes over me, “am I dressed properly? Is it ok to be topless (nude) here? Is this ok here?” As I look around and confirm “yes you are at a nudist resort, it’s ok to be nude. You are fine, go”. It’s so funny, how even after almost 2 weeks I’m still checking in and making sure I’m not walking out into my front yard nude or something. Or what even funnier is before I cross over to the “dark side”, that is what they call the clothed side over here, I step through the gates and immediately look down to make sure all my bits are covered. Though I just spent 10 or 15 minutes getting dressed, there is still the fear of being in the wrong place with no clothes on and thinking I am in the right place, YIKES! So funny!

I leave my room, go for a walk over the coral beach, not a barefoot kind of beach, I come back to breakfast, which all the waiters now know what I like and they just confirm it and bring my drinks of juice and green tea and I go get my breakfast from the fruit buffet.

It’s time for the Rowdies to leave, I will miss them, they’ll all be gone by tomorrow! Half of them are already gone. Man oh man, I have grown so accustom to them being here, how much fun they are, such happy, loud, loving people and all so very connected. They have all known each other for 5-7 years mostly. Every year coming down at the same time to play together-do karaoke, have cowboy night, cross dressing night-which was one of the best night, imagine this-men in their late 50’s to 70’s in 4 inch stiletto heels with stockings, tight form fitting pants, or mini skirts, wigs of bright blue or bouffant, little crop tops to show their bellies, fake boobs that feel real (that some of the got caught at the airport with and embarrassed some of the inspectors!!!!) and make up. It was hilarious to see these men walk in these shoes, they had to walk with their wives so they didn’t fall forward most of them. They have lingerie night for the ladies and I think it’s called leather night where everyone wears leather, in this humidity, good luck getting the leather off!

One night was bling bling night, after a day of Mardi Gras festivities and real Louisiana gumbo made fresh from one of the men from there. Well I didn’t bring costumes for being here, never thought about it really. One woman decided I wasn’t bling bling enough-which is anything sparkly and bright or that blinks with lights. So she offered to loan me her extra bling bling outfit of a blue mini skirt, that has a slit up to the elastic that holds it on, with a clear, 1 ½- 2 inch gab between the front and the back flap and a top low cut and covering the essentials with costume jewelry here and there blinging for everyone to see. Of course I didn’t bring any 4-5 inch heals so I was barefoot with man Mardi Gras beads from the day of flashing people as they went by. But since we were already naked we had to cover our breasts and then show them to the people as they went by in the pool! So we got throw loads of beads. At the party I was given light up beads, it was fun as we gambled the night away with fake money, putting down our smallest bills of $500.00 at a time. There are things you can win at the end of the night by how much you won, I just gave mine to this man who desperately wanted to win.

The last few days I have taken on a few private sessions, how nice to work with couples on specific things! So beautiful. It has been even more opening for me to coach people that are ultimately in love with each other. It’s like working with honeymooners they have been together for up to 27 years. Wanting to know what else they can learn about their relationship through Tantra, what can they heal and do to even closer, to be more open, loving with each other, and to have more pleasure. I have to stop and think from time to time “this is what I’m getting paid for”, it’s so beautiful, I almost cried watching a few couples together in my classes together. It was just so heart warming.

Ok, get this, something so mind blowing, I’m still excited and wowed by this. Some how Playgirl, yes PLAYGIRL heard I was down here. How they found out about me I haven’t a clue. But they did and they contacted the resort and want to interview me and whilst doing that they want to interview them as well and publicize it out of their circulation of people of 90,000 people. I asked the manager, how they found out about me and he said “I assumed you told them”. I giggled at that as I have no contact with them. He said “they found you somehow and it will be good for the resort if you want to be interviewed”. I agreed to it of course, what fun. But man oh man, open and the Universe comes in and takes you by storm. I told him I think I’ll be teaching with my clothes on that day. You know, just in case I run for president one day it wouldn’t look good for me to be naked in Playgirl. ; ) That will happen in July. They’ll be sending a couple down to take my class and take photos. I’m excited, what an amazing year this is turning out to be.

I went into town earlier this week, and it was pretty funny in some aspect, oh town is Play del Carmen. I hopped off the bus and found a little hole in the wall place and had a lovely lunch of beans, rice and tortillas, just want I wanted, nothing like that at the resort. I love Mexican food, I think I must have been Central America in a past life as man oh man I love their food! Yummy!

Walking down the street seeing a pharmacy that sells all kinds of things but the main thing I remember is Viagra, right there on a permanent sign on their building, along with several other things. A retail seller said this woman as she passed by, “ok it’s now my turn to rip you off” she just giggle off. I went down an alley way to see this huge sign that said “Night Club, Gay”, well at least you can’t mistake that, not like you can accidentally walk in there thinking it’s a straight place and find your same sex coming onto you, could be exciting though, yet unexpected!!! I like how clear and blunt they are down here. Like this other man I have met, “I can be your husband while you are in Mexico and then you go home and when you come back I’m your husband again”. So funny, of course there would be no ceremony, but I’m sure the consummation of the marriage I’m sure would be rather encouraged! : )

Some man on the street came up to me saying “I’m from Guatemala” and put his hand out to greet me, now this really freaked me out, if you know anything of my history with Guatemala you will understand, if not, well you can read more about it one day in book form, when I’m done with it. I kept walking, thinking that maybe the travel guy down the way told him I’d been there, as we’d had a long conversation about travel and in some places they tell everything to people so by the time you hit their shop they know everything about you, it’s freaky.

I walked on to see all kinds of American food places, McDonalds, Burger King…..and then Dairy Queen, oh yummy. Well I couldn’t resist it was hot and it was calling. I had the best Blizzard I’d had in years, but then I haven’t had one of these in hummm….maybe a year, some time in Thailand I know I had one. A rare treat for me! When I finally got to the point I could be in any city any where in the US I turned around and headed back, the Guatemalan still tried to pull me in to his shop and others did too.

I went for a walk on the beach that was just beautiful, very crowded with people from all over the world but still just stunning with the clear and clean blue-green water that was nice and warm to the skin. I plopped my down beside a German girl and had a chat, went for a swim which was heaven, laid out for a bit talking some more to the girl, just relaxed, it was nice to be away from the resort for several hours and even more great to be on a beach I can walk on, our beach at the resort as coral and it can be a little rough on the feet, yes even my feet that are used to being naked and worn a bit!

Today is my day off, I’m off to go snorkeling at one of the locals favorite spots, so it should be a nice day in the water. I may do some kayaking as well on the “dark side”. It’s pretty amazing to me, that they can have all-inclusive places like this, you pay nothing, for anything, you snorkel or kayak, it’s free, you drink 20 drinks a day, it’s free, you order anything on the menu and it’s free. The other side is so much cheaper then this side, but I’m not sure if they drink as much as this side does. As they have lots of honeymooners and families, but it’s 18 or older over there.

I noticed when I went over to the dark side for dinner last night for a few times now in a row….what is it about people with clothes on that they wet the toilet seat, but when you have no clothes on the toilet seat stays dry. I think the clothed people are so scared of germs they pee above the seat and spray every where and the unclothed just don’t even care about that. And I don’t see anyone breaking out in any kind of disease on the naked side! Anyway, something to think about I guess. One man said to me the other day, “you can’t be stuck up and be naked, that is why everyone talks to one another”. That is true, haven’t met one stuck up person yet here, maybe shy but not stuck up.

I am loving the calmness the ocean brings to my soul. Walking yesterday morning was a delight to my being. Truly a special thing happens at the ocean for me.

I am off to go play on the beach and in the water. Have a gorgeous day and may your heart be happy and healthy.
Much love and many hugs, Heather

More photos!

Yummy photos of the critters all about, the beaches, ruins and me! Mucho Amor, Heather