Sweet as a Cadbury!

Hello there,
How are you? Man oh man, or woman oh woman or Amma oh Amma!!! Well the train trip was great! 48 hours with being the only white one on the train! It really was so incredible and I get more and more the I am sent Angels to help me! Thank goodness. I am grateful for this. I met a few families on the train that were ever so sweet. I played with the kids, or more like became one of the kids, as all the adults stared at me, they weren't quite sure what to think, but they smiled at me and one family that wasn't so warm at first, through seeing me play with the kids, including theirs, I warmed their hearts and they ended up helping to know where to get off and where to go to get to Amma's instead of staying at a hotel for a night. It was such a relief to have such beautiful people help me! So I've been at Amma's now for 10 or so days now, luckily I came when I did as she stopped doing Darshans 5 days later. She is getting ready for Japan and the US. I've had some great moments here of doing Seva/volunteer work, my favorite though is Pizza doe rolling!!!! Yes, I've become the teacher of it and it's so fun, you have to do it this way, this size and then of course ad a dash of fun, playfulness, joking around and laughter and you got it perfect! Something about doing that Seva makes me so happy and giddy!!!
Life is good here. But it's not India, it has lots of Indian people but it's not India. I go across the bridge and you get a little piece of India, crazy loud music blasting out of a truck with huge speaker driving down the street with a truck in front of it with a loud speaker with some speech being screeched across to everyone. Mean while I'm walking down the street, only white one there looking up to dark skinned, dark eyed and bright whites around their eyes peering out at me, curious. Men in their dhoti's, which is a male sarong/skirt and women in their sari's. All beautiful, staring and not shy about it. It's funny to be in a culture that was never taught that staring may make people uncomfortable.
As I was at Amma's a little girl sat next to me just looking at me, I looked her, she didn't respond to it at all. I made a funny face at her, she just blinked at me, I'd turn away and then look quickly at her, no response, then I tried to tickle her, nope, no response, just blinking those big black eyes at me, hair pulled back into a braid and having no idea what to think or do with this white person next to her.
Amma has been in her room for days now and I thought I'd want to leave when she started her private darshans with people, but honestly it's been so peaceful without all the craziness of doing the darshans. As when she's out everyone, well no, the westerners are stressed, more rude then usual and stepping all over each other to fetch everything to do anything that makes everything go the way Amma wants it to go. These people have no love and respect for one another, very sad, it's like the Indians are pushy, but that's their nature to be pushy, so it's understandable, but the westerns have become just rude and crazed, no patience and they have no idea that you can laugh, play, hug and have fun and be spiritual. They feel or act like-to be spiritual you have to be serious and quiet if not with Amma, hummm......not quite how I want to live but if it works for them, go for it. I'd prefer the personal tone myself. So I am here making people laugh and of course that makes some people not so happy, but I'm ok with that! I'm here to laugh, I've been serious with my spiritual practice way too long, time to play, there is plenty of time to be serious, but not 90% of my time!
There are so many devotees that are making Amma a cult, following her at every moment and thinking she is higher than God, hummm......I just don't see this, I think she is a really amazing human that loves to laugh, joke, hug and love people for hours a day and that is fabulous (though her devotees don't do that, too bad). But some of them give away their power to her, it's a little crazy in my opinion to hear them say "if it weren't for Amma I'd be dead or in an insane asylum" which many feel they'd be insane not for Amma, some still are and don't know it. Everything is "Amma has given so much, etc". Pretty amazing! I'm not sure if I've been around this so much. Yet the great thing is that now that she hasn't come out for so long it's much more peaceful. There is much more time for alone time, healing, meditation or socializing. Which for me it's been very nice to connect with others. There has been a group of us hanging out the past week or so and it's like a great little womens group. I don't think I've experienced anything quite like this in my life, it's so much fun. Laughing, talking about travel, being so concerned with each other, taking alone time, talking about issues together and just being with each other. It's so fun and beautiful.
One of the women and I have just completely bonded like sisters, she's from Australia and we are doing healing together, it's so powerful, like nothing I've ever experienced before. It's so wonderful to let go at such powerful levels of deep emotional places and being able to support her as well. I feel like I'll see her again in OZ, who knows when though, she's traveling around the world on a one year ticket.
Yesterday was so wonderful, we met this gorgeous Indian woman from Kerala and she came with us on a canoe trip. We took the canoe up the river and saw these great villages of children on the side that we waved at, well, I went a little crazy and I'd wave crazy and then they'd copy, I'd move my shoulders and they'd copy, oh my gosh it was so fun to play with them even from the boat and watch them sing and dance along with us while we were in the boat! They were gorgeous to see them and play! The Indian woman, Shanani, she called me trouble as I'd be joking, teasing and making every one laugh or tickling her. She so ticklish, it's great. She gets so happy and loved it with I reached out and hugged her and then kissed her cheek, she just lit up and thanked me as she giggled. She and I have has some great conversations about Indian culture, marriage and touched on the subject of sex, there is much she doesn't know and she gets quite embarrassed about the subject but desperately wants to know about it-very shyly! Indians more learn about babies and the reproductive system more then about making love and the details of it-but then I don't many people know about the details of sex, especially before they have it. So we'll see how it goes the next few days with her on that subject as I told her she could ask me questions. She's happy and scared of that.
I went into a little cafe to use the internet and started talking to the woman owner of it and I turned and hugged her. Well she loved it, I don't think they do that much here but they love it. She responded with "you are as sweet as a Cadbury". I thought that was so cute and had no idea she knew what a Cadbury was. The women love to be touched once you get their walls down, it's lovely really lovely. They walk around with this serious face sometimes and then you smile or touch their arm in a loving way and they just light up, it's so brilliant! Being a woman we aren't supposed to talk or touch men. Well I still talk with them but man is it hard not to touch their arm, I've done it accidentally a few times but they mostly are the ones that around westerners and are used to it!
I really have to try to not touch but I love it. Some of my western friends are shocked when I touch the women but are surprised when they respond so lovingly. It's funny how the women can be so pushy, push through a line or crowd (no lines here, they just crowd around to the tea, well they line up and then at some point they just crowd around and push to get their tea). It's quite fun to be touched and touch others even if it is being pushed. They have no issue with pushing with their whole bodies to get in front of you or to get to the front, very aggressive yet they can be so warm hearted. There is something in the culture here that makes me think they fear not getting food or drink, I haven't gotten to the bottom of that yet but I'll be working on it, as many of the Indians here are not starving, far from it. But they are so lovely. My connections to the people here is just so strong, I love to watch them, smell all the scents they burn or put on them selves.
So I am happy I am here,I am happy that it is so much cooler than Calcutta. Yet I have been having a think called Prickly heat which is little bumps that itch a little and it's caused from heat. I have something call Neem oil, it's helping, the doctors want to put me on an antihistimine, no thank you.
I am seeing a doctor today for my wrist and it's healing, he'll be doing physical therapy on it, over 17 years of doing healing work it needs some help to heal and come back to "normal" again.
I'm looking into a number of Ayurvedic clinics for cleansing and there are lots of options. One of my friends may go with me to the Sivananda Ashram for Yoga, Ayurvedic medicine and meditation, so it will be nice to travel with her! So the healing has begun and it's great. Amma leaves for Japan tomorrow, everyone went crazy last night as she came out and sang with everyone. It was a surprise before she left.
Well I could go on but this is probably enough for now. I am well, I am happy, I am learning a ton about myself and life and so happy to support others in their lives. I'm happy to also be bonding with woman, that feel so nice and refreshing.
I'm writing a ton and it's good. I have been told by the vedic astrologer that I am to dance, sing, act, paint, work with kids, teach about communications and relatedness, and to write books as I will get published and it's good for me-I have so much I want to write. It's pretty amazing how spot on they were with so much about careers and all that I want to do and what I am doing. It gave some great info and it's fun. He really stressed to keep on my spiritual path. And about a month before I came here I decided I was going to become 80-90% vegetarian before India and then vegetarian in India and I've honored that and it feels good-well he told me I need to be vegetarian so I guess I'm right on mark. It's just fun to hear what they say. He also went on to tell me that I'm supposed to be traveling now and it's really good for me-which I knew but it's still fun to hear.
Anyway, I miss you, I think of you often, I send you hugs. Know that you are in my heart. Continue to open, grow and connect with yourself and others! I'm still loving the eye balls here-eye contact, though it gets intense being on a bus and 5 people staring at you and 2 of them continually saying "hallo, hallo, what is your name, hallo, hallo, what is your name?" for 20 minutes. I normally respond, but my girlfriend I was with was really freaked out and I decided it would be best not to, as I know they'd want to talk with her then. But it can be intense. It's low season so not too many tourists.
I need to go. Much love my friends, Heather