Hello there,
How are you? Man oh man, or woman oh woman or Amma oh Amma!!! Well the train trip was great! 48 hours with being the only white one on the train! It really was so incredible and I get more and more the I am sent Angels to help me! Thank goodness. I am grateful for this. I met a few families on the train that were ever so sweet. I played with the kids, or more like became one of the kids, as all the adults stared at me, they weren't quite sure what to think, but they smiled at me and one family that wasn't so warm at first, through seeing me play with the kids, including theirs, I warmed their hearts and they ended up helping to know where to get off and where to go to get to Amma's instead of staying at a hotel for a night. It was such a relief to have such beautiful people help me! So I've been at Amma's now for 10 or so days now, luckily I came when I did as she stopped doing Darshans 5 days later. She is getting ready for Japan and the US. I've had some great moments here of doing Seva/volunteer work, my favorite though is Pizza doe rolling!!!! Yes, I've become the teacher of it and it's so fun, you have to do it this way, this size and then of course ad a dash of fun, playfulness, joking around and laughter and you got it perfect! Something about doing that Seva makes me so happy and giddy!!!
Life is good here. But it's not India, it has lots of Indian people but it's not India. I go across the bridge and you get a little piece of India, crazy loud music blasting out of a truck with huge speaker driving down the street with a truck in front of it with a loud speaker with some speech being screeched across to everyone. Mean while I'm walking down the street, only white one there looking up to dark skinned, dark eyed and bright whites around their eyes peering out at me, curious. Men in their dhoti's, which is a male sarong/skirt and women in their sari's. All beautiful, staring and not shy about it. It's funny to be in a culture that was never taught that staring may make people uncomfortable.
As I was at Amma's a little girl sat next to me just looking at me, I looked her, she didn't respond to it at all. I made a funny face at her, she just blinked at me, I'd turn away and then look quickly at her, no response, then I tried to tickle her, nope, no response, just blinking those big black eyes at me, hair pulled back into a braid and having no idea what to think or do with this white person next to her.
Amma has been in her room for days now and I thought I'd want to leave when she started her private darshans with people, but honestly it's been so peaceful without all the craziness of doing the darshans. As when she's out everyone, well no, the westerners are stressed, more rude then usual and stepping all over each other to fetch everything to do anything that makes everything go the way Amma wants it to go. These people have no love and respect for one another, very sad, it's like the Indians are pushy, but that's their nature to be pushy, so it's understandable, but the westerns have become just rude and crazed, no patience and they have no idea that you can laugh, play, hug and have fun and be spiritual. They feel or act like-to be spiritual you have to be serious and quiet if not with Amma, hummm......not quite how I want to live but if it works for them, go for it. I'd prefer the personal tone myself. So I am here making people laugh and of course that makes some people not so happy, but I'm ok with that! I'm here to laugh, I've been serious with my spiritual practice way too long, time to play, there is plenty of time to be serious, but not 90% of my time!
There are so many devotees that are making Amma a cult, following her at every moment and thinking she is higher than God, hummm......I just don't see this, I think she is a really amazing human that loves to laugh, joke, hug and love people for hours a day and that is fabulous (though her devotees don't do that, too bad). But some of them give away their power to her, it's a little crazy in my opinion to hear them say "if it weren't for Amma I'd be dead or in an insane asylum" which many feel they'd be insane not for Amma, some still are and don't know it. Everything is "Amma has given so much, etc". Pretty amazing! I'm not sure if I've been around this so much. Yet the great thing is that now that she hasn't come out for so long it's much more peaceful. There is much more time for alone time, healing, meditation or socializing. Which for me it's been very nice to connect with others. There has been a group of us hanging out the past week or so and it's like a great little womens group. I don't think I've experienced anything quite like this in my life, it's so much fun. Laughing, talking about travel, being so concerned with each other, taking alone time, talking about issues together and just being with each other. It's so fun and beautiful.
One of the women and I have just completely bonded like sisters, she's from Australia and we are doing healing together, it's so powerful, like nothing I've ever experienced before. It's so wonderful to let go at such powerful levels of deep emotional places and being able to support her as well. I feel like I'll see her again in OZ, who knows when though, she's traveling around the world on a one year ticket.
Yesterday was so wonderful, we met this gorgeous Indian woman from Kerala and she came with us on a canoe trip. We took the canoe up the river and saw these great villages of children on the side that we waved at, well, I went a little crazy and I'd wave crazy and then they'd copy, I'd move my shoulders and they'd copy, oh my gosh it was so fun to play with them even from the boat and watch them sing and dance along with us while we were in the boat! They were gorgeous to see them and play! The Indian woman, Shanani, she called me trouble as I'd be joking, teasing and making every one laugh or tickling her. She so ticklish, it's great. She gets so happy and loved it with I reached out and hugged her and then kissed her cheek, she just lit up and thanked me as she giggled. She and I have has some great conversations about Indian culture, marriage and touched on the subject of sex, there is much she doesn't know and she gets quite embarrassed about the subject but desperately wants to know about it-very shyly! Indians more learn about babies and the reproductive system more then about making love and the details of it-but then I don't many people know about the details of sex, especially before they have it. So we'll see how it goes the next few days with her on that subject as I told her she could ask me questions. She's happy and scared of that.
I went into a little cafe to use the internet and started talking to the woman owner of it and I turned and hugged her. Well she loved it, I don't think they do that much here but they love it. She responded with "you are as sweet as a Cadbury". I thought that was so cute and had no idea she knew what a Cadbury was. The women love to be touched once you get their walls down, it's lovely really lovely. They walk around with this serious face sometimes and then you smile or touch their arm in a loving way and they just light up, it's so brilliant! Being a woman we aren't supposed to talk or touch men. Well I still talk with them but man is it hard not to touch their arm, I've done it accidentally a few times but they mostly are the ones that around westerners and are used to it!
I really have to try to not touch but I love it. Some of my western friends are shocked when I touch the women but are surprised when they respond so lovingly. It's funny how the women can be so pushy, push through a line or crowd (no lines here, they just crowd around to the tea, well they line up and then at some point they just crowd around and push to get their tea). It's quite fun to be touched and touch others even if it is being pushed. They have no issue with pushing with their whole bodies to get in front of you or to get to the front, very aggressive yet they can be so warm hearted. There is something in the culture here that makes me think they fear not getting food or drink, I haven't gotten to the bottom of that yet but I'll be working on it, as many of the Indians here are not starving, far from it. But they are so lovely. My connections to the people here is just so strong, I love to watch them, smell all the scents they burn or put on them selves.
So I am happy I am here,I am happy that it is so much cooler than Calcutta. Yet I have been having a think called Prickly heat which is little bumps that itch a little and it's caused from heat. I have something call Neem oil, it's helping, the doctors want to put me on an antihistimine, no thank you.
I am seeing a doctor today for my wrist and it's healing, he'll be doing physical therapy on it, over 17 years of doing healing work it needs some help to heal and come back to "normal" again.
I'm looking into a number of Ayurvedic clinics for cleansing and there are lots of options. One of my friends may go with me to the Sivananda Ashram for Yoga, Ayurvedic medicine and meditation, so it will be nice to travel with her! So the healing has begun and it's great. Amma leaves for Japan tomorrow, everyone went crazy last night as she came out and sang with everyone. It was a surprise before she left.
Well I could go on but this is probably enough for now. I am well, I am happy, I am learning a ton about myself and life and so happy to support others in their lives. I'm happy to also be bonding with woman, that feel so nice and refreshing.
I'm writing a ton and it's good. I have been told by the vedic astrologer that I am to dance, sing, act, paint, work with kids, teach about communications and relatedness, and to write books as I will get published and it's good for me-I have so much I want to write. It's pretty amazing how spot on they were with so much about careers and all that I want to do and what I am doing. It gave some great info and it's fun. He really stressed to keep on my spiritual path. And about a month before I came here I decided I was going to become 80-90% vegetarian before India and then vegetarian in India and I've honored that and it feels good-well he told me I need to be vegetarian so I guess I'm right on mark. It's just fun to hear what they say. He also went on to tell me that I'm supposed to be traveling now and it's really good for me-which I knew but it's still fun to hear.
Anyway, I miss you, I think of you often, I send you hugs. Know that you are in my heart. Continue to open, grow and connect with yourself and others! I'm still loving the eye balls here-eye contact, though it gets intense being on a bus and 5 people staring at you and 2 of them continually saying "hallo, hallo, what is your name, hallo, hallo, what is your name?" for 20 minutes. I normally respond, but my girlfriend I was with was really freaked out and I decided it would be best not to, as I know they'd want to talk with her then. But it can be intense. It's low season so not too many tourists.
I need to go. Much love my friends, Heather
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Sunday, May 6, 2007
An injection of home & EYE BALLS!
Hello there,
I am in India, there are no words and so many words to describe this place. I'm not sure how really. I'm in Calcutta until tonight. My first day here was mind blowing, walking around the streets. The first thing I noticed was EYE BALLS. Wow, I got eye contact every where, hello, where are you from (scary question to answer right now-I'll explain later), where are you going, how long will you be here? The smiles were brilliant. Heart warming to have such connection. But the difference so much from other places I've been that after 5 hours of eye contact and being human with other humans I was pooped! In 5 hours I was the only white person I saw, it was incredible!
Just the experience of riding in on the taxi was just outrageous! It was the same as my last time coming into town. I think they have a script! I get in, I collected some great people to share a taxi ride with, got a prepaid taxi, we all got in, within moment the man says "bakshish 10rs from each of you, 10, 10, 10, 10rs" we said no, then he tried 5rs, we said no. We drive off and within moments we are back at the train station for all of his taxi friends to drive the taxi and see if it's ok or if a tire needs to be fixed. We drive off after their approval. Everything is going fine and then he says if we don't give him bakshish we will be going back to the station, he slowed down, we continued our no, he almost stopped, he made threats, wow, I just had to laugh as it's the exact thing that happened 6 years ago, but that taxi drive did turn around and then back around. Wow, it was amazing. He kept going though!!! then he pulled over to get someone to check out the tire-all we could think of is how is he going to try to get us to pay for this? Luckily it was fine, we drove on and then he lightened up and became a great guy. Which they all are underneith it all.
Something about driving through this city, the dirt, the grime, the culture in the poverty, the unembarrassment of living on the street-as it's their cast, nothing to change, just to accept here, can't change birth of cast here, even if you are a doctor you don't move up cast. Seeing the eyes, as we past other cars, the cars driving like crazy, within inches of each other, such trust of their driving skills. there are no lines on the road and part of the time it's dirt. It's like 3 lanes but all sideways, or on top of each other, and they can't drive without honking. If they just think someone will move they honk. So it makes this very dusty, dirty city a very loud city as well. And they are always talking loud, yelling, or just having to make sound. There is the man rickshaws all over, the men that pick up these double seated carts with a hood over them to protect from the sun and 2 wheels and they pull you all over town. They are thin and very strong. No fat on them, at all.
The smell of India, it's home, it really is home to me. Some is a little strong but the different things they burn is just heaven. I'll be stocking up on it before I leave, it's so glorious. the moment Ianded yet again I was calm. I'm so happy to be in this busy, grimy place. A little sad to be leaving Calcutta so soon tonight to go on my, YES, 48 hour train ride to Kerala, but it's time! Life is an adventure and I've never done 48 hours and so I'm going for it. I'll be there the night of the 8th and in Amma's arms on the 9th!
But backing up a little a few things I need to share one is that first day that I showed up I saw a sign that really rang true but really scared me, the sign read: Worlds #1 Terrorist! and it had a photo of Bush. Well yes I agree, but honestly it makes saying "I'm from the US" a lot harder. I walked on a little scared. Wondering what nationality will I say I am. Well I finally let it go and then I sat down to rest on a step in front of a closed shop. Watching this glorious man with white hair dodge the cars and then turn to me and with a hand gesture gave me a beautiful greeting, amazing eyes. Then I started taking notes as to not forget anything as there was so much I saw that day and this man stopped and stared at me angrily. I didn't know what was wrong. I kept doing my thing and then I thought maybe I should stop writing as the intensity was getting thick around me. I put away the pad of paper and pen and stood to leave, the man walked with me with his intense eyes for a bit and left. I saw the nice man and he did his little hand greeting which I was relieved to get from him and made me smile! I realized that man may have thought I was a terrorist taking notes on something but I don't know for sure, but luckily nothing happened. and it's the only time I've ever felt that kind of thing in India, but there is a lot of fear right now. I walked on to get question by another man where i was from, how I felt about Bush, how did he get elected, did I like Clinton or Bush? Well I won't go into my answers but lets just say the man was shocked when I told him my feelings about it all yet relieved and I left him with I loved India and he was happy with that. I hardly saw any women in parts of town, it's a very mans world here in Calcutta.
I saw this gorgeous woman on the way to Mother Theresa's Orphage, where I was volunteering with the kids there, she had light blue eyes with her brown skin, living on the street. Like the National Geographic photo, she was there with her child. Once I can get it to work I'll upload this email as well as my photos to my blog, but as for now it's not coming up. I worked with the children this week and it was divine, they are such brilliant souls. At first being with the handicap I felt a little scared of them, the difference and newness of it and how do I play with them? Within hours it was gone. I saw their souls, they have such deep eyes, so much is held in there so many stories to be told and so much love and trust in there. To make them laugh was like heaven and thrilling. To feed them could be difficult but a great experience. One little girl adopted me. She would come find me immediately for me to play with her. Her name is Romeda, gorgeous brown skin, brown eyes with curly hair. I could easily take her home with me. She loved to be touched and played with. The first day she wore me out but we had so much fun together. I had my Goddess Necklace on and I taught her the word Goddess and kept saying Goddess Romeda. She kept calling me auntie as most Indians who live on the street or at the Sister house call women auntie, so I turned to her and called her neicie and pointed to her and she'd say neicie. It was so cute. It was lovely to look so deeply into these beautiful souls. And some of them look like children but they are 40 years old, so small, so young looking with so much to say with no words most of the time. Yet it can be very noisy in there with the sounds and the ones that speak.
So I've been drinking all the juices and and food on the street, it's so nice to be here again. And I love how friendly most everyone is. I don't remember it being so friendly but I love it. I slept in a room with 5 other girls in it, one of them, Joan, from South Africa, she and I became instant friends. She has 4 children at home all out of the house-well one lives at home now but in his 30's. She is lovely, I have been introducing her to India and helping the fear of it be released. She's a lot of fun, we've talked for hours, she introduced me to leeches, or leiches-I don't know the spelling, but it's a fruit, it's devine but they do crazy things to my belly.
So I'm not sure, what else without giving you every detail. But I'm safe here, I'm having a blast. I'm on a train tonight for 48 hours to Kerala to be with Amma and to study Ayurveda. I send you all love. I wish I could tell you more but it would take hours. I love you and hug you, Heather
I am in India, there are no words and so many words to describe this place. I'm not sure how really. I'm in Calcutta until tonight. My first day here was mind blowing, walking around the streets. The first thing I noticed was EYE BALLS. Wow, I got eye contact every where, hello, where are you from (scary question to answer right now-I'll explain later), where are you going, how long will you be here? The smiles were brilliant. Heart warming to have such connection. But the difference so much from other places I've been that after 5 hours of eye contact and being human with other humans I was pooped! In 5 hours I was the only white person I saw, it was incredible!
Just the experience of riding in on the taxi was just outrageous! It was the same as my last time coming into town. I think they have a script! I get in, I collected some great people to share a taxi ride with, got a prepaid taxi, we all got in, within moment the man says "bakshish 10rs from each of you, 10, 10, 10, 10rs" we said no, then he tried 5rs, we said no. We drive off and within moments we are back at the train station for all of his taxi friends to drive the taxi and see if it's ok or if a tire needs to be fixed. We drive off after their approval. Everything is going fine and then he says if we don't give him bakshish we will be going back to the station, he slowed down, we continued our no, he almost stopped, he made threats, wow, I just had to laugh as it's the exact thing that happened 6 years ago, but that taxi drive did turn around and then back around. Wow, it was amazing. He kept going though!!! then he pulled over to get someone to check out the tire-all we could think of is how is he going to try to get us to pay for this? Luckily it was fine, we drove on and then he lightened up and became a great guy. Which they all are underneith it all.
Something about driving through this city, the dirt, the grime, the culture in the poverty, the unembarrassment of living on the street-as it's their cast, nothing to change, just to accept here, can't change birth of cast here, even if you are a doctor you don't move up cast. Seeing the eyes, as we past other cars, the cars driving like crazy, within inches of each other, such trust of their driving skills. there are no lines on the road and part of the time it's dirt. It's like 3 lanes but all sideways, or on top of each other, and they can't drive without honking. If they just think someone will move they honk. So it makes this very dusty, dirty city a very loud city as well. And they are always talking loud, yelling, or just having to make sound. There is the man rickshaws all over, the men that pick up these double seated carts with a hood over them to protect from the sun and 2 wheels and they pull you all over town. They are thin and very strong. No fat on them, at all.
The smell of India, it's home, it really is home to me. Some is a little strong but the different things they burn is just heaven. I'll be stocking up on it before I leave, it's so glorious. the moment Ianded yet again I was calm. I'm so happy to be in this busy, grimy place. A little sad to be leaving Calcutta so soon tonight to go on my, YES, 48 hour train ride to Kerala, but it's time! Life is an adventure and I've never done 48 hours and so I'm going for it. I'll be there the night of the 8th and in Amma's arms on the 9th!
But backing up a little a few things I need to share one is that first day that I showed up I saw a sign that really rang true but really scared me, the sign read: Worlds #1 Terrorist! and it had a photo of Bush. Well yes I agree, but honestly it makes saying "I'm from the US" a lot harder. I walked on a little scared. Wondering what nationality will I say I am. Well I finally let it go and then I sat down to rest on a step in front of a closed shop. Watching this glorious man with white hair dodge the cars and then turn to me and with a hand gesture gave me a beautiful greeting, amazing eyes. Then I started taking notes as to not forget anything as there was so much I saw that day and this man stopped and stared at me angrily. I didn't know what was wrong. I kept doing my thing and then I thought maybe I should stop writing as the intensity was getting thick around me. I put away the pad of paper and pen and stood to leave, the man walked with me with his intense eyes for a bit and left. I saw the nice man and he did his little hand greeting which I was relieved to get from him and made me smile! I realized that man may have thought I was a terrorist taking notes on something but I don't know for sure, but luckily nothing happened. and it's the only time I've ever felt that kind of thing in India, but there is a lot of fear right now. I walked on to get question by another man where i was from, how I felt about Bush, how did he get elected, did I like Clinton or Bush? Well I won't go into my answers but lets just say the man was shocked when I told him my feelings about it all yet relieved and I left him with I loved India and he was happy with that. I hardly saw any women in parts of town, it's a very mans world here in Calcutta.
I saw this gorgeous woman on the way to Mother Theresa's Orphage, where I was volunteering with the kids there, she had light blue eyes with her brown skin, living on the street. Like the National Geographic photo, she was there with her child. Once I can get it to work I'll upload this email as well as my photos to my blog, but as for now it's not coming up. I worked with the children this week and it was divine, they are such brilliant souls. At first being with the handicap I felt a little scared of them, the difference and newness of it and how do I play with them? Within hours it was gone. I saw their souls, they have such deep eyes, so much is held in there so many stories to be told and so much love and trust in there. To make them laugh was like heaven and thrilling. To feed them could be difficult but a great experience. One little girl adopted me. She would come find me immediately for me to play with her. Her name is Romeda, gorgeous brown skin, brown eyes with curly hair. I could easily take her home with me. She loved to be touched and played with. The first day she wore me out but we had so much fun together. I had my Goddess Necklace on and I taught her the word Goddess and kept saying Goddess Romeda. She kept calling me auntie as most Indians who live on the street or at the Sister house call women auntie, so I turned to her and called her neicie and pointed to her and she'd say neicie. It was so cute. It was lovely to look so deeply into these beautiful souls. And some of them look like children but they are 40 years old, so small, so young looking with so much to say with no words most of the time. Yet it can be very noisy in there with the sounds and the ones that speak.
So I've been drinking all the juices and and food on the street, it's so nice to be here again. And I love how friendly most everyone is. I don't remember it being so friendly but I love it. I slept in a room with 5 other girls in it, one of them, Joan, from South Africa, she and I became instant friends. She has 4 children at home all out of the house-well one lives at home now but in his 30's. She is lovely, I have been introducing her to India and helping the fear of it be released. She's a lot of fun, we've talked for hours, she introduced me to leeches, or leiches-I don't know the spelling, but it's a fruit, it's devine but they do crazy things to my belly.
So I'm not sure, what else without giving you every detail. But I'm safe here, I'm having a blast. I'm on a train tonight for 48 hours to Kerala to be with Amma and to study Ayurveda. I send you all love. I wish I could tell you more but it would take hours. I love you and hug you, Heather
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
A photo
Though I think it's sideways,it there, as requested by Jade and Mal,a photo of me.This is near a temple with my friend Krystyn! Love you,Heather
Aerobics on the River, On to India!
Hello there,
How are you? I trust life holding you beautifully and pouring life into you! As for me, Bangkok has been a great refuge for me. Lots of fun, introspective time, walking around and new experiences. First let me start by saying I decided to go to the Weekend Market here, OH MY GOSH! I've never been to a market so BIG! It's HUGE! They have everything, well that I could see. And I only touched only a little part. You can easily get lost, thank goodness I'm directional otherwise I'd still be there wandering around-well not really since it closes at 6 or 7pm. But they have bags, clothes, furtinure, food, entertainment of all sorts, that greatest I saw was a diggeridoo player,he was great and I'd never seen a doo extend in length, it was fun!
I decided to go down to Siam Square, this is no shopping place in the US, well yes it is and no it's not. It's like one of the largest malls I've seen times about 6 or 7. As there are about 4 malls right there in a row or maybe 5 and each one of them is 4-5 stories tall, any where from Thai stuff to Gucci and anything in the US. The electronic stores are heaven to look in, man oh man, Heather do not buy that beautiful little computer, get out now! So I did! I've loved writing so much, computers are just so much easier for me-to read and to write on. Well they have a Starbucks, as someone told me there was one, YEASH, but no Chai Latte, bummer;(! If you are going to have a Starbucks you have to have a Chai, it's the best thing in there for non coffee drinkers!!! ; ) Well I found out there is one on Khoasan Rd too, the main tourist road, but nuttin' in there for me! That's good anyway. I will be getting the real chai from India.....TOMORROW!!! That's right I fly out tomorrow. I'm thrilled!!! Ecstatic and so HAPPY. Yet, the funny thing is the travel agent gives me my visa and tells me my ticket will be in tomorrow morning! YIKES! Cutting it close, but so Thai, they've had a whole week to get a ticket and they wait until today-an Indian Holiday (it's with Indian Airlines) and she couldn't get the ticket. So I'll get it tomorrow at 9:30am-ish and on to the shuttle at 10am ish. I'm sure it will all fall into place.
So this place is so human, a contradiction of terms-aren't we humans!!! ; ) Well Thailand has done something so great for their people. They saw that their people were getting obese, yes most of their children (about 80% or so) are obese from all the Western food. Well Thailand decided to do something I feel the world would be a much better place for: they put in free morning and evening aerobic classes for anyone who wants to show up! How terrific! Well what did I do? Yep, I went on down and had a great kick my butt workout with my favorite music artist, all at ultra fast music! Talk about high impact, these people need low impact but they are doing slow impact since they can't keep up, but they are doing great to be there. How lovely to see so many out doors working up a sweat, their back view is the sunsetting over the river and bridge in the background. It was stunning to turn around and see that in the back of us. Sweat was flying off of me, it was great. Me in my Tevas, getting blisters, just doing my aerobics outdoors, no words were used, just hand motions. I ended with dancing like a mad woman and then people coming up and thanking me for joining them and telling me to come others as everyday there are different teachers. I wonder if the country pays the teachers or what. But how amazing, could you imagine in the US, no excuses of "can't afford a gym" well, it's free! Since I come from a family that is about half over weight this is a real concern for me with my family!
I have another great thing to compare to my life here. There are these 3 wheeled tuk tuks here that are used like taxi's without meters and have big puffs of smog coming out their back end-talk about getting in shape just to take a nice breath in of smog or cigarette smoke, makes sense? not really but it's what happens. Anyway, so tuk tuk drivers are so used to saying "tuk tuk" and before getting an answer they walk off, well it's so like when I was in high school these boys would walk up quickly and nervous and say "would you like to dance" and before I could answer they'd be walking off and barely hear me say "yes" and then they'd freeze and turn around in shock-as if they'd possibly heard wrong. So funny. They'd ask if I said yes and I said yes. I'd ask them "why would you ask if you'd walk off before I answered", they'd resonse, "you are such a great dancer I assumed you must be stuck up". Thank goodness I was far from that and got a few male dancers as a girl in high school! Anyway that's what the tuk tuk drivers reminded me off.
The Thai women here really blow me away, so many of them are bigger then the boys, not fat, just bigger boned, they hate to look in the mirror and think anyone with white skin is beautiful, but not them. Where as the boys are feminine, every chance they get to look in the mirror, primp or check them selves out or fix their hair they do it. They love it. It's liket the opposite from what I'm used to when I was young. Even the bus drivers check themselves out in their mirrors in the bus and they aren't even young.
I have met up with 3 people now from Bali. Two of them really felt stuck there also, couldn't stay or leave. They felt it was the black magic that they do there. Well what ever it was it was powerful enough for me to almost extend my visa, thank goodness I didn't-thank goodness Amma spoke to me and told me to come to India as I'll have enough time to spend a few days in Calcutta and then take a 20 hour train trip down to Madras, stay with that family I met on the train and then go the 16-20 hour train trip to Kerala-I may break it up, but who knows how, as I won't know until I get there! Luckily Amma has extended her stay so I have a little time to play with! The Universe is working in my favor! Thank goodness! Anyway, back to Bali, I won't say all of Bali is "bad" or tranced, I'll just say the Ubud has an intense energy, it hit me everyone I met that loved Ubud stayed outside of Ubud and only came into town to do business and go back home. It's like a magnet to keep you there. Anyway, I'm happy for the great people I met and the batiks I made and the classes I took! Plus some of the day trips and Gili was just brilliant-everything happens for a reason! Just funny to hear others that have gone through what I went too.
So I went to my first movie theatre on this trip. Well it starts out with 15 minutes of previews-so those of you whole like being a little tardi, this is perfect for you! Then they start showing pictures of their King on the screen, everyone stands up at attention to honor their King,that means tourists too! Can you imagine if we had to do that with our president. I wouldn't go to a movie for 8 years, no thank you, I'd rather puke! Just my opinion. But they love their King so much. They have photos of him every where and the line from the Lion King, "Long Live the King" all over. And they have it written on those yellow plastic bracelets that we have in America for donating to I forget what. But the King is getting old so they are concerned. So dedicated to their leader and love him so much.
Well I'm not sure how you are about loud music or even more distorted music, well I know how some people feel about this. But I have gone into some restaurants, markets, and malls that their music is completely distorted from blown out speakers or too loud of music. So you are sitting their listening to all of this music from these vibrating or is it lack of vibrating speakers that sounds, let's say not so great. It's funny, they don't seem to notice! I love this. America seems to have everything so perfect,here, no way! It really makes you look and think, why do we do things "this way" or "that way". I mean speakers are different. But they'll do other funny things like sit you at a table, walk off, and go do a few things before you get a menu (as you are hoping you'll be on time for the movie!!!). The thing that kills me is these waiters that will serve you your meal and there is no way he could tell you what you look like? He's there and gone before you know it. You are saying Kop Koon Ka (Thank you) to no one by the time you look up. It's such an empty feeling to know that you are just another thing they serve with no care. It really feels sad to me. I mean really we need to look at our lives, where are we not seeing the people around us, caring for out customers, really hearing the other person speaking or focusing even on what we are talking about. Are we on automatic and care about what we are saying or are we just talking to talk? I sometimes catch myself talking and half the way through I realize I'm not even interested in what I'm saying, how can they be if I'm not? Yikes! It makes me think, if I'm not passionate about what I'm saying why should I open my mouth? I get more and more that there is less to say if you take out all the filler talk-the non important things. It's like rice-filler food! Not much nutrition (if it's white and some others) but it fills you. And here boy does it fill you. I have to limit myself to only one rice dish a day. Otherwise there goes my girlish figure!!! ; ) I'll be cleansing it all out in India thank goodness! I've spend the past few days going in and out of bookstores researching Ayurvedic clinics, resorts and every where in between in India. I'm very excited that I have found amazing places from free to over $55.00 a day for treatments! There is also some kind of martial arts there that I may look into. There is a ton of creative stuff there too-painting, pottery (free classes on these), on top of yoga and the list goes on....
Back to the people here, it is so sad to see so many Thai women with these Western men. They really look to be with someone that can take care of them, they get a mans number and call them constantly, until the men throw out their sim cards and get a new one, but then they catch one or a man catches one of them and then they look miserable. Not all of them but so many of them. I can't imagine. And so many of these men are leaving in days, weeks, months or coming back every few months and who knows if they wait around or go find another, they just look so unhappy. The difference my friends and I have seen is that in Bali most every one puts on a happy face no matter what and here you can see what they are feeling. The men always look happy or some don't speak or can't speak to their mates, who knows which. But something feels off. I just realized that most of the guesthouses in the area say "no Thai's upstairs" or "no Thai's without permission" to keep the prostitution out, thank goodness. But then some women who are not Thai are stopped and told they can't go to their rooms, as they think they are Thai but they aren't. Pretty crazy for those girls. The women here with Western men don't seem to have a voice, they seem so small, but my sense is once they would get their men they'd become themselves again. As so many of them are out spoken, but around men they are being courted by they become different.
This is something I noticed in my early 20's women being nervous about going on a date. I couldn't understand it. I talked to them about it and it came from not really being comfortable in their skin with themselves and feeling they weren't enough and they didn't have a choice, only the men had the choice. If we always keep in mind, we are choosing too then there is no problem. I have felt that feeling in my life at times of feeling like "will they choose me" but when I turn it around to "will I choose them" all of a sudden it brings my power back to me. How many times have we either gone out with someone as they wanted to or taken a job as we felt like we had no other choice? We always have a choice. I realized I walked into a job interview and they were shocked that I had just as many questions for them as they had for me, if not more. They were taken back realizing that they were being interviewed too. Some people actually like that as they know that you care and want to like where you work-work takes up so much our time, we might as well be happy where we are and with the people-the people make the place you work. I can deal with crappy work (well I don't think I've had crappy work before, always doing massage, hair, personal training and one deli job as a kid)as long as I get along with the people I work with. That is why I just couldn't do hair in LA, the people in the industry are too much to handle and everyone who comes in to get their hair done has this gorgeous hair with curls and they want me blow it out to straight so they can look like Jennifer Aniston (I love her), but let her be her and you be you. It was just too much attitude and not enough heart for me. I'd try to talk to them about their hobbies, passions, things they do for fun and it's like they weren't their or understand or just wanted to talk about the Biz or negative things. We need to really look at where we are happy and not and see where we can change. That is what I'm doing on this trip. Man or man, and I have encountered some resistances this week, YIKES, I had no idea I could be so resistant to the next step. But it's there, really there. So on to letting go and finding the way to forgiveness for the self. My system is struggling with it, not sure how but I'm sitting back, feeling it, seeing it want to run, feeling the tears, breathing and breathing some more and just watching to see if I get the answers to myself forgiving me. I feel self forgiveness is one of the hardest, as we are so hard on ourselves. I mean, to forgive another sometimes is really hard especially when people do such horrible things as rape people, kill people, etc but how do we forgive ourselves for putting ourselves in those positions? No one teaches this, forgiveness of the self. This is my next step, so I'll keep listening and loving and see what's next. It's funny I walked down the street today and every sign I saw I breathed in forgiveness-it's Bangkok, lot of breathing here and forgiveness in those breaths but after a while you can hyperventalate!!! (sp?) So maybe every street sign next time, and it keeps you present too, instead of thinking of yesterday or tomorrow.
Oh, I forgot to tell you, the movie I went too....I went to see Miss Potter, if you haven't seen it, it's so sweet. Touching and well, it's a great story that turns love story in a oldies kind of way, for me a tear jerker, but that is me with.....well you'll have to find out for yourself. Talk about some who knows what they want and go for it no matter what! At that time it took a powerful woman to go through what she went through and bust through to the other side. Another great movie to tell you to do what you love, what your heart wants to do and all will fall in line, it' powerful, she had no idea how successful she was at first as she wasn't doing it for money but she was able by the end to help so many in the end saving land, it was just so wonderful, what a great story of faith in ones self, ones art and going for it! And YEAH for fathers for stepping in and encouraging their daughters!
So my friends I really am loving it here, I'm so thrilled about India, but right now I'm pooped and need my bed. Considering a massage before bed, who knows if I will. But my pillow is really calling me though! I miss and love you so much and send you many hugs. Be well, be in love with your life, keep breathing, and keep in touch, I love hearing from you. Love and blessings, talk to you from India next, Heather
Mal and Jade, yes I promised you photos of me on my blog, but this place doesn't allow that from here, maybe next time. I haven't forgotten!
How are you? I trust life holding you beautifully and pouring life into you! As for me, Bangkok has been a great refuge for me. Lots of fun, introspective time, walking around and new experiences. First let me start by saying I decided to go to the Weekend Market here, OH MY GOSH! I've never been to a market so BIG! It's HUGE! They have everything, well that I could see. And I only touched only a little part. You can easily get lost, thank goodness I'm directional otherwise I'd still be there wandering around-well not really since it closes at 6 or 7pm. But they have bags, clothes, furtinure, food, entertainment of all sorts, that greatest I saw was a diggeridoo player,he was great and I'd never seen a doo extend in length, it was fun!
I decided to go down to Siam Square, this is no shopping place in the US, well yes it is and no it's not. It's like one of the largest malls I've seen times about 6 or 7. As there are about 4 malls right there in a row or maybe 5 and each one of them is 4-5 stories tall, any where from Thai stuff to Gucci and anything in the US. The electronic stores are heaven to look in, man oh man, Heather do not buy that beautiful little computer, get out now! So I did! I've loved writing so much, computers are just so much easier for me-to read and to write on. Well they have a Starbucks, as someone told me there was one, YEASH, but no Chai Latte, bummer;(! If you are going to have a Starbucks you have to have a Chai, it's the best thing in there for non coffee drinkers!!! ; ) Well I found out there is one on Khoasan Rd too, the main tourist road, but nuttin' in there for me! That's good anyway. I will be getting the real chai from India.....TOMORROW!!! That's right I fly out tomorrow. I'm thrilled!!! Ecstatic and so HAPPY. Yet, the funny thing is the travel agent gives me my visa and tells me my ticket will be in tomorrow morning! YIKES! Cutting it close, but so Thai, they've had a whole week to get a ticket and they wait until today-an Indian Holiday (it's with Indian Airlines) and she couldn't get the ticket. So I'll get it tomorrow at 9:30am-ish and on to the shuttle at 10am ish. I'm sure it will all fall into place.
So this place is so human, a contradiction of terms-aren't we humans!!! ; ) Well Thailand has done something so great for their people. They saw that their people were getting obese, yes most of their children (about 80% or so) are obese from all the Western food. Well Thailand decided to do something I feel the world would be a much better place for: they put in free morning and evening aerobic classes for anyone who wants to show up! How terrific! Well what did I do? Yep, I went on down and had a great kick my butt workout with my favorite music artist, all at ultra fast music! Talk about high impact, these people need low impact but they are doing slow impact since they can't keep up, but they are doing great to be there. How lovely to see so many out doors working up a sweat, their back view is the sunsetting over the river and bridge in the background. It was stunning to turn around and see that in the back of us. Sweat was flying off of me, it was great. Me in my Tevas, getting blisters, just doing my aerobics outdoors, no words were used, just hand motions. I ended with dancing like a mad woman and then people coming up and thanking me for joining them and telling me to come others as everyday there are different teachers. I wonder if the country pays the teachers or what. But how amazing, could you imagine in the US, no excuses of "can't afford a gym" well, it's free! Since I come from a family that is about half over weight this is a real concern for me with my family!
I have another great thing to compare to my life here. There are these 3 wheeled tuk tuks here that are used like taxi's without meters and have big puffs of smog coming out their back end-talk about getting in shape just to take a nice breath in of smog or cigarette smoke, makes sense? not really but it's what happens. Anyway, so tuk tuk drivers are so used to saying "tuk tuk" and before getting an answer they walk off, well it's so like when I was in high school these boys would walk up quickly and nervous and say "would you like to dance" and before I could answer they'd be walking off and barely hear me say "yes" and then they'd freeze and turn around in shock-as if they'd possibly heard wrong. So funny. They'd ask if I said yes and I said yes. I'd ask them "why would you ask if you'd walk off before I answered", they'd resonse, "you are such a great dancer I assumed you must be stuck up". Thank goodness I was far from that and got a few male dancers as a girl in high school! Anyway that's what the tuk tuk drivers reminded me off.
The Thai women here really blow me away, so many of them are bigger then the boys, not fat, just bigger boned, they hate to look in the mirror and think anyone with white skin is beautiful, but not them. Where as the boys are feminine, every chance they get to look in the mirror, primp or check them selves out or fix their hair they do it. They love it. It's liket the opposite from what I'm used to when I was young. Even the bus drivers check themselves out in their mirrors in the bus and they aren't even young.
I have met up with 3 people now from Bali. Two of them really felt stuck there also, couldn't stay or leave. They felt it was the black magic that they do there. Well what ever it was it was powerful enough for me to almost extend my visa, thank goodness I didn't-thank goodness Amma spoke to me and told me to come to India as I'll have enough time to spend a few days in Calcutta and then take a 20 hour train trip down to Madras, stay with that family I met on the train and then go the 16-20 hour train trip to Kerala-I may break it up, but who knows how, as I won't know until I get there! Luckily Amma has extended her stay so I have a little time to play with! The Universe is working in my favor! Thank goodness! Anyway, back to Bali, I won't say all of Bali is "bad" or tranced, I'll just say the Ubud has an intense energy, it hit me everyone I met that loved Ubud stayed outside of Ubud and only came into town to do business and go back home. It's like a magnet to keep you there. Anyway, I'm happy for the great people I met and the batiks I made and the classes I took! Plus some of the day trips and Gili was just brilliant-everything happens for a reason! Just funny to hear others that have gone through what I went too.
So I went to my first movie theatre on this trip. Well it starts out with 15 minutes of previews-so those of you whole like being a little tardi, this is perfect for you! Then they start showing pictures of their King on the screen, everyone stands up at attention to honor their King,that means tourists too! Can you imagine if we had to do that with our president. I wouldn't go to a movie for 8 years, no thank you, I'd rather puke! Just my opinion. But they love their King so much. They have photos of him every where and the line from the Lion King, "Long Live the King" all over. And they have it written on those yellow plastic bracelets that we have in America for donating to I forget what. But the King is getting old so they are concerned. So dedicated to their leader and love him so much.
Well I'm not sure how you are about loud music or even more distorted music, well I know how some people feel about this. But I have gone into some restaurants, markets, and malls that their music is completely distorted from blown out speakers or too loud of music. So you are sitting their listening to all of this music from these vibrating or is it lack of vibrating speakers that sounds, let's say not so great. It's funny, they don't seem to notice! I love this. America seems to have everything so perfect,here, no way! It really makes you look and think, why do we do things "this way" or "that way". I mean speakers are different. But they'll do other funny things like sit you at a table, walk off, and go do a few things before you get a menu (as you are hoping you'll be on time for the movie!!!). The thing that kills me is these waiters that will serve you your meal and there is no way he could tell you what you look like? He's there and gone before you know it. You are saying Kop Koon Ka (Thank you) to no one by the time you look up. It's such an empty feeling to know that you are just another thing they serve with no care. It really feels sad to me. I mean really we need to look at our lives, where are we not seeing the people around us, caring for out customers, really hearing the other person speaking or focusing even on what we are talking about. Are we on automatic and care about what we are saying or are we just talking to talk? I sometimes catch myself talking and half the way through I realize I'm not even interested in what I'm saying, how can they be if I'm not? Yikes! It makes me think, if I'm not passionate about what I'm saying why should I open my mouth? I get more and more that there is less to say if you take out all the filler talk-the non important things. It's like rice-filler food! Not much nutrition (if it's white and some others) but it fills you. And here boy does it fill you. I have to limit myself to only one rice dish a day. Otherwise there goes my girlish figure!!! ; ) I'll be cleansing it all out in India thank goodness! I've spend the past few days going in and out of bookstores researching Ayurvedic clinics, resorts and every where in between in India. I'm very excited that I have found amazing places from free to over $55.00 a day for treatments! There is also some kind of martial arts there that I may look into. There is a ton of creative stuff there too-painting, pottery (free classes on these), on top of yoga and the list goes on....
Back to the people here, it is so sad to see so many Thai women with these Western men. They really look to be with someone that can take care of them, they get a mans number and call them constantly, until the men throw out their sim cards and get a new one, but then they catch one or a man catches one of them and then they look miserable. Not all of them but so many of them. I can't imagine. And so many of these men are leaving in days, weeks, months or coming back every few months and who knows if they wait around or go find another, they just look so unhappy. The difference my friends and I have seen is that in Bali most every one puts on a happy face no matter what and here you can see what they are feeling. The men always look happy or some don't speak or can't speak to their mates, who knows which. But something feels off. I just realized that most of the guesthouses in the area say "no Thai's upstairs" or "no Thai's without permission" to keep the prostitution out, thank goodness. But then some women who are not Thai are stopped and told they can't go to their rooms, as they think they are Thai but they aren't. Pretty crazy for those girls. The women here with Western men don't seem to have a voice, they seem so small, but my sense is once they would get their men they'd become themselves again. As so many of them are out spoken, but around men they are being courted by they become different.
This is something I noticed in my early 20's women being nervous about going on a date. I couldn't understand it. I talked to them about it and it came from not really being comfortable in their skin with themselves and feeling they weren't enough and they didn't have a choice, only the men had the choice. If we always keep in mind, we are choosing too then there is no problem. I have felt that feeling in my life at times of feeling like "will they choose me" but when I turn it around to "will I choose them" all of a sudden it brings my power back to me. How many times have we either gone out with someone as they wanted to or taken a job as we felt like we had no other choice? We always have a choice. I realized I walked into a job interview and they were shocked that I had just as many questions for them as they had for me, if not more. They were taken back realizing that they were being interviewed too. Some people actually like that as they know that you care and want to like where you work-work takes up so much our time, we might as well be happy where we are and with the people-the people make the place you work. I can deal with crappy work (well I don't think I've had crappy work before, always doing massage, hair, personal training and one deli job as a kid)as long as I get along with the people I work with. That is why I just couldn't do hair in LA, the people in the industry are too much to handle and everyone who comes in to get their hair done has this gorgeous hair with curls and they want me blow it out to straight so they can look like Jennifer Aniston (I love her), but let her be her and you be you. It was just too much attitude and not enough heart for me. I'd try to talk to them about their hobbies, passions, things they do for fun and it's like they weren't their or understand or just wanted to talk about the Biz or negative things. We need to really look at where we are happy and not and see where we can change. That is what I'm doing on this trip. Man or man, and I have encountered some resistances this week, YIKES, I had no idea I could be so resistant to the next step. But it's there, really there. So on to letting go and finding the way to forgiveness for the self. My system is struggling with it, not sure how but I'm sitting back, feeling it, seeing it want to run, feeling the tears, breathing and breathing some more and just watching to see if I get the answers to myself forgiving me. I feel self forgiveness is one of the hardest, as we are so hard on ourselves. I mean, to forgive another sometimes is really hard especially when people do such horrible things as rape people, kill people, etc but how do we forgive ourselves for putting ourselves in those positions? No one teaches this, forgiveness of the self. This is my next step, so I'll keep listening and loving and see what's next. It's funny I walked down the street today and every sign I saw I breathed in forgiveness-it's Bangkok, lot of breathing here and forgiveness in those breaths but after a while you can hyperventalate!!! (sp?) So maybe every street sign next time, and it keeps you present too, instead of thinking of yesterday or tomorrow.
Oh, I forgot to tell you, the movie I went too....I went to see Miss Potter, if you haven't seen it, it's so sweet. Touching and well, it's a great story that turns love story in a oldies kind of way, for me a tear jerker, but that is me with.....well you'll have to find out for yourself. Talk about some who knows what they want and go for it no matter what! At that time it took a powerful woman to go through what she went through and bust through to the other side. Another great movie to tell you to do what you love, what your heart wants to do and all will fall in line, it' powerful, she had no idea how successful she was at first as she wasn't doing it for money but she was able by the end to help so many in the end saving land, it was just so wonderful, what a great story of faith in ones self, ones art and going for it! And YEAH for fathers for stepping in and encouraging their daughters!
So my friends I really am loving it here, I'm so thrilled about India, but right now I'm pooped and need my bed. Considering a massage before bed, who knows if I will. But my pillow is really calling me though! I miss and love you so much and send you many hugs. Be well, be in love with your life, keep breathing, and keep in touch, I love hearing from you. Love and blessings, talk to you from India next, Heather
Mal and Jade, yes I promised you photos of me on my blog, but this place doesn't allow that from here, maybe next time. I haven't forgotten!
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Love over Iced Ovaltine & I'm in Love with Avocado Juice!
Hello lovers of life!!!
How is life for you? What's new in your world? How is your heart? For me, life is amazing! I am out off of Bali and now in Bangkok. Funny how just a change of place to a place you more connect with can completely change your whole disposition. I am so happy here waiting for my visa to India. Yesterday the creative bug caught me and I wrote over 20 or 30 pages. It was amazing. Really connecting to what is true for me, what I'm passionate about and who I am. Have you ever thought about why we go into a restaurant and no one looks at you? Why most of us don't chat up the person at the next table? Or why we say we are too busy to connect with someone we love? I've done all of this and I've done the opposite of this as well to get reactions of "do I know you?" and when I say "no" they respond with "then why are you talking to me", it's like being human and our need for connection isn't being honored or dealt with. I don't know about you but living in LA I see so many people wanting and needing to connect, dying of lonilness but we don't reach out for ourselves or others. I was coughing the other day as something went down wrong and well, no one even looked at me-I know they may think it's embarrassing for me if they look, and this isn't only here, it's every where, but my question is since when did we get so scared to help others, to notice one another and acknowledge each other as human?
I had the most fabulous trip from Bali to Bangkok, first flying into Kuala Lumpar, then a 2 hour lay over for a train, then an over night train to the border of Thailand-where I met a wonderful Indian family from Madras/Chennai, India, who invited me to come stay with them in India, I'm so excited about this, Í'm completely thrilled to live inside a Indian family to see how they live and be part of their lives and family for a short time! Such amazing people, I just love Indian people, I swear I was Indian in a past life as I just get near them and I feel so peaceful! Like connecting to another side of me! Then I had a 7 hour lay over at the border because the train was late. I met this amazing Muslim man that at first looked very stern, serious and looked like the Yul Brynner, but after a bit we got talking and he started telling me more about the difference between Muslims and Islam. There are Muslims and there are Muslims that are Islam. The Islam Muslims are very peaceful, pray 5 times a day, depending on where you live it can start at 4 or 5am and end at night. There is a certain way they pray and certain things they read, it's beautiful to hear about. Islam Muslims don't kill, they don't believe in it, some Muslims just take things to the extreme and discount certain things of their faith. The one thing I really loved that this lovely man said was "don't look at a persons skin or clothes, look at their heart, that is what is important". Wow, I loved that. It's so true. He was the most incredible with children, being he had 5 of them and they are all so close even though living so far away. This little girl got hurt on the train, they were afraid her wrist was disconnected. Wow, talk about community, who cares your faith, they were all there surrounding her trying to help and being concerned. He asked if I knew anything about this. Well I walked over thinking I couldn't help. But I told him if it was broken there would be swelling, there was no swelling and I think it was too much attention for her to handle all the people around. And sure enough within minutes she was fine when everyone cleared away. But how lovely to have parents and community all to join in and be concerned, how human. I really loved that. My friend, Rahman, was really concerned with the little girl, pretty amazing to see a strangers concern for another being. Well by the end of the trip he invited me to stay with his family if i get back to Malayasia. That would be really great as well. How fun and fascinating to stay with his family, I know that would be a great experince!
So I was traveiing for 2 days and 2 hours straight to get to Bangkok with 4 hours of train delays and not being able to get to the Indian Embassy that day as we were so late. But it was worth the connections I got and the lessons of letting go and realizing we don't have control and to just relax as it is all working out. And it did-I was able to find a place to start the process of my visa and bought my ticket to India all in one afternoon. So I'll have my visa Tuesday and in my other home of India on Wednesday!!! YES!
But to back up to Bali, my last few days was the best I had in Ubud. After I got all my things shipped home from sewing projects, fabrics that I couldn't get sewn, etc. I got to relax, hang out with my Indonesian friends going out dancing-they'd never been. They were so shy that they couldn't stay more then 10 minutes. It was sweet. It turned out we joked around, chased each other around the streets trying to keep them from going home, but it was all in great fun. We all had a blast! My other friend and I stayed and danced until I was pooped, not much of a night person myself. But it was great!
My favorite drink in Bali was Avocado juice, yes, it sounds weird, but it is heaven. You can take it two ways, one with just Avocado and a little water to make it blend and then they just serve it as is or they put liquid chocolate around the inside of the glass and on top and you stir it in for a little sweetness. No matter which the drink is lovely. Maybe you can try it at home.
I went for another hike through the rice fields and got some alone time to read. Oh, I forgot to tell you that the day we rented a jeep the man that drove us hasn't driven much in the past 16 years and took us into a ditch as he cut a corner too short. It was hilarious! Well, he didn't think so, he was embarrassed, but how fun to push this very light jeep that you can almost lift all on your own out of a ditch. No one hurt, not even the jeep, just Made's (said maa day) ego. The people that were truly my friends came to spend time with me, gave me little gifts of fruit and just sweet things. Some people think you are friends there only if you buy them, their time, etc. It was nice to see the difference. One of my friends invited me to go Jalan Jalan, which is walking. I got on the motorbike and asked her if we were really going to walk? (as Indonisian people don't walk, they ride their bikes!! ) she said yes, so I thought we'd walk, but she laughed at me later when we only stayed on the bike. But let me tell you, I saw the best rice fields there on that trip. It was great to go through these villages and people waving to me. How lovely. I've never known a culture to have so many holidays and celebration. At lease one a week. I got invited to one the last week but I just couldn't, but it was so sweet to be invited. I loved that you can touch these people, it was so nice, my friend Atik, would grab me, my arm, laugh in my face, bump me, put her arm around my waist, it was so nice to be touched.
Getting to Thailand has been great. I have really been looking at the people, men are so much more feminine, where as the women are so much bigger boned and most of them look very masculine. It's like some of their genes have been crossed, the men here are the smaller sex most of the time.
Oh, my first day here in Bangkok I asked this Thai man where he got his chocolate milk-they hold it in a bag with a straw and ice in it, this is take away for them. We talked for a bit and then he pointed out the place. Well I found the little stall that is driven around the streets on 3 wheels with all his tools too heat the water, have his ice and cups and plastic bags all there atop his bike wheels. I walked up to order and iced ovaltine and he wanted to talk and then he wanted me to take him to where I was going. I told him I'm going to India. He said no, he wanted to go to my home, when I said I wasn't going there, he wasnted me to go to his, I said no laughingly, as it was so funny to me. Then his friend said "he's in love with you". Well that's the fastest falling I've ever seen! Not mutual, sorry to say, but I did like his ovaltine. Then he offered me 500 (I assume baht) to go home with him. Wow, it's been a long time since I've been offered money to go home with someone. I just laughed, he laughed, I said no, as I walked off as he gave me my ovaltine and I haven't seen him since. "love over iced ovaltine!
I am so relaxed here, so at peace. Who could have thought you can be so relaxed in such a huge city of Bangkok. But it's like Bali took me to the extreme of everything and to my edges of patience so Bangkok is no problem, a breeze. Yesterday was so nice to just for hours, have no where to go. The travel bug has finally settled hin happily and it makes me very excited to embrace India and then Australia! Yet I'm so happy to be here right now, living in the moment, eating Mango with sticky rice every day-just drip some coconut with condensed milk over it, yummy!!! Sticks right to your ribs!!!! All this rice, goodness, I've never eaten so much rice, well maybe when I was 20 as I loved it so much then.
Oh, I went into a large store in Ubud and this was a new thing-bulk frozen carrots, corn, french fries all uncovered and there to measure out. I love seeing how creative and different cultures do things.
Last night walking down Khoasan Road, the main tourist road, going to see a band, I saw a stall surrounded with people. This stall was selling fried or cooked 2 inch cockroaches, 1-1 1/2 inch larve and worms, ant salad and frogs. hummmmm ......no thank you, If I need protein I can find it else where. But there were plenty of people/tourist brave enough to partake. I don't even kill most of these things in my home, why would I eat them...YIKES!!!
Wow, I just am loving life so much right now. I have lots of time to think and feel and meditate, watch people on the streets and just be. I wrote poetry for the first time in a long time yesterday, pretty profound and very different from my other poetry work.
I've also been thinking about a lot of things concerning honesty and communication. Have you have stopped to thimk how many times we don't tell the full truth? Or tell a white lie as many say they are and how this destroys trust in so many of us. It's pretty huge for most people. I've been thinking of children, how honest they are and how to adults it's embarrassing or they get punished for being honest. When how refreshing it is for someone to say "that colors looks like crap on you". For me I've always liked it when people tell me when I have something on my face or if something wasn't right, I love the truth, even if it hurts it's what I strive for all the time. I find myself putting my foot in my mouth all the time with how to tell the truth without hurting the others feelings. Also I've lost friends by telling the truth, it's like where is the trust gone that you can tell the truth and the person will still be there, be mad or hurt and come back the next day or in the moment and tell you how they feel and work it out. I had a great roommate who is still in my life that I got really upset with, I was always so PC with her and I watched her being of Latin blood yell and get passionately upset with people she loved and the next day be fine. Well this one day she came in and asked if I was upset and I just let her have it and she yelled back and it was amazing. By the end of it we were laughing and she said "thank God, it's about time you get angry". Then we laughed more. But I hadn't any fear she would leave me. I knew we'd make it through it and still now we are friends, probably reading this right now actually! But it was a great lesson in trusting someone will be there even when I was hurt and angry, most people just hide or never talk to you again if you show such emotions, so we learn to hold it in. I've not had to yell since then but man oh man that felt good. But I've learned to get upset and let it show, sometimes to my embarrassment. But oh well. Anger is just another passionate feeling. What I'm saying or asking is how many of us have friends we can be totally real with, show our anger and know they will still be there, show our enthusiasm for life and have them still be there? I'm just not sure, but many of us were trained not to get upset and so when we get upset we shove it down. Yet I don't really promote going around yelling either. But if we had a healthy way to deal and express our anger there would be no reason why we'd need to yell.
Ok, who knows if you are interested in this at all. This has nothing to do with all the travel stuff, but the things that have been in my heart for a long time dying to come out and to relate to you on this level. To get our feelings on this, to get your opinions on these subjects. I'd love to know, do you think of these things? I could go on forever, as yesterday I just touched the surface in my writing and this here is only a smaller portion. But let me tell you being here is the perfect grounds for watching relationships, seeing how people are, seeing how families rely on each other, touch each other, protect each other, and let the children get hurt when it's for their own good-in little ways, giving their children responsibilities at a young age with money, selling, going to the store, talking to strangers, rocking the babies, feeding the smaller children. It's pretty amazing what children do here. We tend to protect so much in the US that children never learn to children or adults, it's like they get trapped some where in between. What do you think on this?
I am loving having the time to really go deep into myself on these subjects that I've loved so much for so long and get clarity on them within myself. I recommend time to yourself to go in like this, yet social time is needed too, connection is so beautiful! If you get the urge I'd love to see you if you want to come over and play, travel, explore. I'll be in India starting on Wednesday in Calcutta, then on to Madras to see this family and then on to Kerala where Amma is for 9 days at her ashram before she goes out on tour again. I'm excited to see her, be at her home and to be embraced by her love and warmth again.
Ok, that is probably enough for now. I love you, I'd love to hear from you, know about your lives, hearts, your opinions anything you'd like to share. Or just a simple hello so I know you are there would be great! I send you love and many hugs, Heather ; ) peaceful in Bangkok!!!
How is life for you? What's new in your world? How is your heart? For me, life is amazing! I am out off of Bali and now in Bangkok. Funny how just a change of place to a place you more connect with can completely change your whole disposition. I am so happy here waiting for my visa to India. Yesterday the creative bug caught me and I wrote over 20 or 30 pages. It was amazing. Really connecting to what is true for me, what I'm passionate about and who I am. Have you ever thought about why we go into a restaurant and no one looks at you? Why most of us don't chat up the person at the next table? Or why we say we are too busy to connect with someone we love? I've done all of this and I've done the opposite of this as well to get reactions of "do I know you?" and when I say "no" they respond with "then why are you talking to me", it's like being human and our need for connection isn't being honored or dealt with. I don't know about you but living in LA I see so many people wanting and needing to connect, dying of lonilness but we don't reach out for ourselves or others. I was coughing the other day as something went down wrong and well, no one even looked at me-I know they may think it's embarrassing for me if they look, and this isn't only here, it's every where, but my question is since when did we get so scared to help others, to notice one another and acknowledge each other as human?
I had the most fabulous trip from Bali to Bangkok, first flying into Kuala Lumpar, then a 2 hour lay over for a train, then an over night train to the border of Thailand-where I met a wonderful Indian family from Madras/Chennai, India, who invited me to come stay with them in India, I'm so excited about this, Í'm completely thrilled to live inside a Indian family to see how they live and be part of their lives and family for a short time! Such amazing people, I just love Indian people, I swear I was Indian in a past life as I just get near them and I feel so peaceful! Like connecting to another side of me! Then I had a 7 hour lay over at the border because the train was late. I met this amazing Muslim man that at first looked very stern, serious and looked like the Yul Brynner, but after a bit we got talking and he started telling me more about the difference between Muslims and Islam. There are Muslims and there are Muslims that are Islam. The Islam Muslims are very peaceful, pray 5 times a day, depending on where you live it can start at 4 or 5am and end at night. There is a certain way they pray and certain things they read, it's beautiful to hear about. Islam Muslims don't kill, they don't believe in it, some Muslims just take things to the extreme and discount certain things of their faith. The one thing I really loved that this lovely man said was "don't look at a persons skin or clothes, look at their heart, that is what is important". Wow, I loved that. It's so true. He was the most incredible with children, being he had 5 of them and they are all so close even though living so far away. This little girl got hurt on the train, they were afraid her wrist was disconnected. Wow, talk about community, who cares your faith, they were all there surrounding her trying to help and being concerned. He asked if I knew anything about this. Well I walked over thinking I couldn't help. But I told him if it was broken there would be swelling, there was no swelling and I think it was too much attention for her to handle all the people around. And sure enough within minutes she was fine when everyone cleared away. But how lovely to have parents and community all to join in and be concerned, how human. I really loved that. My friend, Rahman, was really concerned with the little girl, pretty amazing to see a strangers concern for another being. Well by the end of the trip he invited me to stay with his family if i get back to Malayasia. That would be really great as well. How fun and fascinating to stay with his family, I know that would be a great experince!
So I was traveiing for 2 days and 2 hours straight to get to Bangkok with 4 hours of train delays and not being able to get to the Indian Embassy that day as we were so late. But it was worth the connections I got and the lessons of letting go and realizing we don't have control and to just relax as it is all working out. And it did-I was able to find a place to start the process of my visa and bought my ticket to India all in one afternoon. So I'll have my visa Tuesday and in my other home of India on Wednesday!!! YES!
But to back up to Bali, my last few days was the best I had in Ubud. After I got all my things shipped home from sewing projects, fabrics that I couldn't get sewn, etc. I got to relax, hang out with my Indonesian friends going out dancing-they'd never been. They were so shy that they couldn't stay more then 10 minutes. It was sweet. It turned out we joked around, chased each other around the streets trying to keep them from going home, but it was all in great fun. We all had a blast! My other friend and I stayed and danced until I was pooped, not much of a night person myself. But it was great!
My favorite drink in Bali was Avocado juice, yes, it sounds weird, but it is heaven. You can take it two ways, one with just Avocado and a little water to make it blend and then they just serve it as is or they put liquid chocolate around the inside of the glass and on top and you stir it in for a little sweetness. No matter which the drink is lovely. Maybe you can try it at home.
I went for another hike through the rice fields and got some alone time to read. Oh, I forgot to tell you that the day we rented a jeep the man that drove us hasn't driven much in the past 16 years and took us into a ditch as he cut a corner too short. It was hilarious! Well, he didn't think so, he was embarrassed, but how fun to push this very light jeep that you can almost lift all on your own out of a ditch. No one hurt, not even the jeep, just Made's (said maa day) ego. The people that were truly my friends came to spend time with me, gave me little gifts of fruit and just sweet things. Some people think you are friends there only if you buy them, their time, etc. It was nice to see the difference. One of my friends invited me to go Jalan Jalan, which is walking. I got on the motorbike and asked her if we were really going to walk? (as Indonisian people don't walk, they ride their bikes!! ) she said yes, so I thought we'd walk, but she laughed at me later when we only stayed on the bike. But let me tell you, I saw the best rice fields there on that trip. It was great to go through these villages and people waving to me. How lovely. I've never known a culture to have so many holidays and celebration. At lease one a week. I got invited to one the last week but I just couldn't, but it was so sweet to be invited. I loved that you can touch these people, it was so nice, my friend Atik, would grab me, my arm, laugh in my face, bump me, put her arm around my waist, it was so nice to be touched.
Getting to Thailand has been great. I have really been looking at the people, men are so much more feminine, where as the women are so much bigger boned and most of them look very masculine. It's like some of their genes have been crossed, the men here are the smaller sex most of the time.
Oh, my first day here in Bangkok I asked this Thai man where he got his chocolate milk-they hold it in a bag with a straw and ice in it, this is take away for them. We talked for a bit and then he pointed out the place. Well I found the little stall that is driven around the streets on 3 wheels with all his tools too heat the water, have his ice and cups and plastic bags all there atop his bike wheels. I walked up to order and iced ovaltine and he wanted to talk and then he wanted me to take him to where I was going. I told him I'm going to India. He said no, he wanted to go to my home, when I said I wasn't going there, he wasnted me to go to his, I said no laughingly, as it was so funny to me. Then his friend said "he's in love with you". Well that's the fastest falling I've ever seen! Not mutual, sorry to say, but I did like his ovaltine. Then he offered me 500 (I assume baht) to go home with him. Wow, it's been a long time since I've been offered money to go home with someone. I just laughed, he laughed, I said no, as I walked off as he gave me my ovaltine and I haven't seen him since. "love over iced ovaltine!
I am so relaxed here, so at peace. Who could have thought you can be so relaxed in such a huge city of Bangkok. But it's like Bali took me to the extreme of everything and to my edges of patience so Bangkok is no problem, a breeze. Yesterday was so nice to just for hours, have no where to go. The travel bug has finally settled hin happily and it makes me very excited to embrace India and then Australia! Yet I'm so happy to be here right now, living in the moment, eating Mango with sticky rice every day-just drip some coconut with condensed milk over it, yummy!!! Sticks right to your ribs!!!! All this rice, goodness, I've never eaten so much rice, well maybe when I was 20 as I loved it so much then.
Oh, I went into a large store in Ubud and this was a new thing-bulk frozen carrots, corn, french fries all uncovered and there to measure out. I love seeing how creative and different cultures do things.
Last night walking down Khoasan Road, the main tourist road, going to see a band, I saw a stall surrounded with people. This stall was selling fried or cooked 2 inch cockroaches, 1-1 1/2 inch larve and worms, ant salad and frogs. hummmmm ......no thank you, If I need protein I can find it else where. But there were plenty of people/tourist brave enough to partake. I don't even kill most of these things in my home, why would I eat them...YIKES!!!
Wow, I just am loving life so much right now. I have lots of time to think and feel and meditate, watch people on the streets and just be. I wrote poetry for the first time in a long time yesterday, pretty profound and very different from my other poetry work.
I've also been thinking about a lot of things concerning honesty and communication. Have you have stopped to thimk how many times we don't tell the full truth? Or tell a white lie as many say they are and how this destroys trust in so many of us. It's pretty huge for most people. I've been thinking of children, how honest they are and how to adults it's embarrassing or they get punished for being honest. When how refreshing it is for someone to say "that colors looks like crap on you". For me I've always liked it when people tell me when I have something on my face or if something wasn't right, I love the truth, even if it hurts it's what I strive for all the time. I find myself putting my foot in my mouth all the time with how to tell the truth without hurting the others feelings. Also I've lost friends by telling the truth, it's like where is the trust gone that you can tell the truth and the person will still be there, be mad or hurt and come back the next day or in the moment and tell you how they feel and work it out. I had a great roommate who is still in my life that I got really upset with, I was always so PC with her and I watched her being of Latin blood yell and get passionately upset with people she loved and the next day be fine. Well this one day she came in and asked if I was upset and I just let her have it and she yelled back and it was amazing. By the end of it we were laughing and she said "thank God, it's about time you get angry". Then we laughed more. But I hadn't any fear she would leave me. I knew we'd make it through it and still now we are friends, probably reading this right now actually! But it was a great lesson in trusting someone will be there even when I was hurt and angry, most people just hide or never talk to you again if you show such emotions, so we learn to hold it in. I've not had to yell since then but man oh man that felt good. But I've learned to get upset and let it show, sometimes to my embarrassment. But oh well. Anger is just another passionate feeling. What I'm saying or asking is how many of us have friends we can be totally real with, show our anger and know they will still be there, show our enthusiasm for life and have them still be there? I'm just not sure, but many of us were trained not to get upset and so when we get upset we shove it down. Yet I don't really promote going around yelling either. But if we had a healthy way to deal and express our anger there would be no reason why we'd need to yell.
Ok, who knows if you are interested in this at all. This has nothing to do with all the travel stuff, but the things that have been in my heart for a long time dying to come out and to relate to you on this level. To get our feelings on this, to get your opinions on these subjects. I'd love to know, do you think of these things? I could go on forever, as yesterday I just touched the surface in my writing and this here is only a smaller portion. But let me tell you being here is the perfect grounds for watching relationships, seeing how people are, seeing how families rely on each other, touch each other, protect each other, and let the children get hurt when it's for their own good-in little ways, giving their children responsibilities at a young age with money, selling, going to the store, talking to strangers, rocking the babies, feeding the smaller children. It's pretty amazing what children do here. We tend to protect so much in the US that children never learn to children or adults, it's like they get trapped some where in between. What do you think on this?
I am loving having the time to really go deep into myself on these subjects that I've loved so much for so long and get clarity on them within myself. I recommend time to yourself to go in like this, yet social time is needed too, connection is so beautiful! If you get the urge I'd love to see you if you want to come over and play, travel, explore. I'll be in India starting on Wednesday in Calcutta, then on to Madras to see this family and then on to Kerala where Amma is for 9 days at her ashram before she goes out on tour again. I'm excited to see her, be at her home and to be embraced by her love and warmth again.
Ok, that is probably enough for now. I love you, I'd love to hear from you, know about your lives, hearts, your opinions anything you'd like to share. Or just a simple hello so I know you are there would be great! I send you love and many hugs, Heather ; ) peaceful in Bangkok!!!
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Celebrating Life Each Moment!!!! Gili Air-A Little Peice of Heaven!
Hello there Dear Ones,
Wow, life is amazing, I am forever being blown away by life right now. My intention for life right now is to celebrate every moment! This has been blossoming in many ways for me-talk about the power of thought, thought creates your world,life and reality. Well life has opened, calmed and gotten more exciting since I have last written.
I had to get out of Ubud, I wasn't feeling connected to it any more with all the noise and pollution and too many things I was thinking I had to "do". YIKES!!! Who wants a list of things to do on a holiday-whether it is to see things, heal or listen, a list of things to do is not on my list of wants and desires in my life. Yet some lists are very nice.
So I took off to Lombok and fell in love. I mean, fell in love.....in love with life again! I saw where I was holding back and now I see where I can open and live full on. My experience there on Gili Air was heaven. Awaken at 5:40am, go to the beach, write my intentions, meditate, do some yoga, and then lie in silence sometimes looking up at the gorgeous blue sky and green leaves of the trees above my head and then sit up to see the sun coming up over the great mountains of the mainland of Lombok-GORGEOUS Island! So lush, green, wet-especially now, wet season and the people are real there. They can live without tourism so not so much pushiness of need. Yet on Gili many live off of tourism. So my day then would go to having a banana pancake for breakfast with tea and fruit salad and then to my FAVORITE part of my day. The underworld that brought me back to life and healed some part of me that I can't yet explain. Try to imagine, drifting, floating, looking around and seeing light blue, and then you realize you might fall and trying to catch yourself when you realize you are being held by the gentle warm water of the sea surrounding you, watching fish of all different colors, shapes and sized all around you. The coral gleaming in orange, purple, green and yellows. Watching the sea plants swish along with the waters current back and forth, up and down in brillant colors! And then there are the turtles, what can I say, I was there long enough to hear their voice, they talked to me, I'm not joking. Not physically, but in a telepathic way. I would be swimming and I'd hear inside myself, "go to your right and you'll see a turtle". So I'd swim there and sure enough there was a turtle, brilliant with green and white spots, just drifting, floating to the surface and back down again in utter peace and joy! Then another time I was swimming to the deep cliff under water and something said "turtle" and told me to look to my right and there he/she was, it looked at me as if I was blocking it's safety route to the sea and so I moved a little further up and then it gently started moving toward the deep part while looking at me, communicating things of what it was feeling and sensing. I felt like these turtles were good luck, and healing, I felt lucky to have seen them, felt them and be with them if only for a few minutes! I fell in love with diving under the water and seeing everything closely, in my face. Watching the big brilliantly blue lips of clams go in and once I was gone go back out again, the fish that would come up to nibble on my fingers as they thought I had food, I watched all the fish going in and out of the coral and plants and the fish that lived on the floor of the ocean that matched as well as the shark like skinny fish that swam only on the top of the water, they love to watch people and swim near but not too near us. This is the most calm, most in love and best meditation I have had in a long time. I'd feel like I'd been gone for 30 minutes and it would have been 1.5 hours. I really fell in love with life there, they underworld life and the ocean is where I am at peace, feel at ease,understand life and do some deep healing.
In being there I realized that it's time to leave Indonesia, though I'm not done seeing what I would like to see, Kerala, India is calling. I really need to follow this feeling. So I'll be leaving when my visa is up on April 22nd. A little sad to leave as it feels like I've explored so little, yet learned so much. The great thing is I've had 2 full days of hiring a jeep with friends and going around Bali-get this, renting a jeep is only $10.00 for a day and then the guy that takes us around works on donation and really feels like more someone to hang with then some cold guide detached. Well, actually, I have to tell you, that I've been proposed to....yes, it's true, the guide is a local man that is very spiritual and getting into Tantra and within 1 hour of knowing me proposed. He told my friends yesterday we are getting married next year. I didn't remember saying yes. He's already got my career planned. Get this, I/we will be teaching couples how to kiss, well, locals anyway as he feels that locals here don't know how to kiss and need lessons. One of his first questions to me was if I thought I was a good kisser and I guess from my answer he gathered we could teach this course. Of course I wouldn't kiss my clients and the classes would be 50,000rupiah per class- $5.00. What's funny is he's never kissed me and I can't see that happening but it's funny to see how he puts me in a career. Then I will also making offerings for celebrations and oh if I want to yes I could do my movement classes if I had to. Pretty funny. Oh, and he wants 3 wives, one from Europe, one American and one local. I told him we'd better get along, but if we got along too well we may not want him any more!!! ; ) Pretty funny. So, no I don't hear wedding bells with him. But he is our guide and he takes us on some incredible journeys to temples, to the jungles to see gorgeouse parts of Bali that are breath taking and mind blowing. I have to say I was not open to Bali until coming back from Gili Air, I wouldn't have enjoyed this trip as much before. I needed the beach to relax from life to take it in. Now I walk down the street and I look everyone in the eye and I feel relaxed and in love with traveling and all of our differences fade away to a place that they are all safe and embraced with newness!
Lombok is mostly Muslim. How I'm getting to know more about this religion/culture and people. They are great people, so beautiful. They believe in no killing-ok yes we in the west think differently of Muslims as for our "experiences" with them or what we've been also told to believe. But the Muslims here are gentle, caring, spiritual, they believe in no lying, killing, praying several times a day starting at 4am. Mohammads birthday celebration landed on Easter funny enough! Well the celebration was grand! I have to say I love the that holidays here in Asia are surrounded and based on the kids. They put up a huge tree pole, grease it up with black thick grease and then the kids take about 3-4 hours to try to find a way up to the top to get gifts at the top they throw down to the others and some they get to keep but most goes to the adults-parents, etc. But they work as a team like I've never seen before, well except in Latin Culture they do it too. The kids were trying to climb the pole one by one, then they'd crawl up on each other-talk about kids not being breakable, these kids would be stacked up on top of one kid and that kid would twist out from under them and they'd all fall down. There no anger, whining, no parents running up to see if they were ok, they all just laughed. There was no violence, hitting, shoving, just laughter, fun and playfulness and working together as a team. Finally the adults got involved and one got to the top to wipe off the grease and after that, this very limber boy, who I thought would make it to the top when I first saw him, he did and he got the big prize that he got to keep!!!! 5,000 rupiah (.50 to us). All the others climbed to the top and the crowd would tell them which gift to choose, they all worked together in it, it was beautiful and peaceful. I can now see why western people can fall in love with Muslims. I met one man/boy and I could see how one could fall for him, or at least easily have a crush on him anyway. Gentle, spiritual, light, caring and very into his religion. They don't have sex until marriage, they choose their partners, they don't marry for at least 2-3 years to make sure they know each other and it will work between them. Wow! They really blew me a way. I love it!
So now I'm back in Ubud to finish things up with Batiking and seeing more of the island before I leave. I'm excited to be here, really excited, embracing life and travel like I hadn't before. Something really took me and opened me being in Gili and it made me love life so much more! Can I tell you that enough!!! Who knows.
The one thing that was funny and a little annoying in Lombok is they'd call you by what they know of you or see. Like they'd walk up and if there were tourists there they'd say "hello American, Japanese, or what ever you are, German". Instead of calling us by name as they all probably know us by name by then as there was only about 20 tourist on this whole island. My favorite was coming back and being in the bus and I was talking to someone and at the window this kid says, "noodle hair, water"? That is how he saw me, with noodle hair, and he wanted to sell me water. Pretty funny. He was persistant so after saying no kindly I closed the window and my friend just laughed so hard! I'm not used to so much persistance but I'm getting used to it.
Walking around Ubud seems new to me now as my head is up not nervous of all the people trying to sell me something. I'm learning a ton about myself and them and this country. It's been eye opening and every moment there is more to explore. Though I'm sad to leave I'm ready for India and the healing I have to do there and explore. I get that I'll be looking into Ayurvedic cleansing and yoga and see Amma as well as some other teachers possibly. But I'll be going up to Ko Phangan first, in Thailand. It will be nice to be at the ocean on my favorite Thai island. I actually just found out there is a Tantra Yoga class there that goes into cleansing, Ayurvedic healing, etc, so I may have to check it out on the way-they have up to a 40 month training course-no I won't be joining that!!! I don't have a huge interest in learning Sanskrit but I'm sure the training is great. I met the teacher 7 years ago, we'll see how I connect with his teachings now.
So there is a million other things I'm sure I could share with you but this is probably getting long. I would love to hear from you. I hope you are well. Oh, I read something went something like this "the past is a cashed check, the future is a promisary (sp?) note and the present is like cash, spend it now as you won't have it again". I love that. Makes you think, if I were to die tomorrow what would I have wished I'd done? For me, it would be dance/perform more, sing more in front of people, build more of a community of people around me, make more time for the people in my life with dinners, talking, laughing, sharing, games and just being. I'd let go of the stress of making money, saving money and let life be and give and receive love from the ones that near and dear to me. What about you? If you had one day or a week or maybe even 6 months to live, what would you do? It's a great question to see what is important to your heart. We can't take money with us, but to love our soul takes us so far before we pass away.
I send you love, gratitude for being part of my life and I so look forward to hearing from you. Love and blessings, hugs and kisses, Heather
Monday, March 19, 2007
My favorite "Ogre"!!!!
Hello there,
I forgot to put these two in! This is my favorite for two reasons, firstly as it reminds my of my lovely grandfather that was so loving and had such a gorgeous soul. He loved to bight the bottoms of my feet to make me laugh. Such great memories. He had big ears and was bald and just a little silly looking at times like this photo. The other reason is he is holding the international sign for I love you! I use it in my life and love it and to have it on a monster is even greater, yet I haven't a clue if they knew what they were putting on this ogre, but I know. I love it. So here he is, my lovely monster/grandfather! Love, Heather
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