Nyopi!!!!! Friendship and Life!

Hello there,
How are you? I trust you are well! So here are some photos, the first is a design I created and my teacher helped me draw on canvas, it was so fun! The other photos are from Nyopi, (pronounced nippy, it's far from nippy here, well sometimes at 6am). Nyopi is the Balinese New Year. They really know how to celebrate New Year. They make these glorious, creative and magnifescent, oh and huge creatures they call ogres or monsters that they take 3-4 weeks to make from Bamboo and paper mache and then parade them around. They have small ones for kids to carry around, shake, make seem scary and man some of those big ones feel like they come alive, look down on you and really freak you out and make you feel they are alive! They are so huge they have to push up the electric wires as they wouldn't be able to pass. So they parade them around, running them toward the crowd to scare them, make them think the monsters will drop on them and then they stop. It's quite the workout for them- a culture that doesn't much work out and most of them call themselves lazy, they make these creatures and then run them around the streets. I think I made a mistake, who ever said these people don't have creative minds are wrong, they are brilliant. I did read something that said they all copied each other until the past years they have done their own creative thing. I can tell from these. Well after all this work, just as I said to someone, "I wonder if they ever fall apart" they brought this one out again and they shook it until it's head fell off, they were thrilled about it. They weren't happy when it didn't fall apart or part of it. They are so well put together only a small part like a head would pop off and glitter would go every where and then they take these ogres, put them on the street, everyone goes into their homes for over 24 hours, from 10pm the 18th to 12am-ish on the 20th. Then they burn the orgres to get rid of the bad spirits-remind you of burning man at all? Yep. Well all lights, electricity, nothing is to be used in that silent time. It's a time for reflection, no work, only family time, some don't eat, no cooking, just reflection time and family time together. If the West adopted this, how lovely it would be. It was great to awaken to no car sounds, to silence. I spend the day dancing to my head phones, drawing, working out, being drawn by my neighbor, cleaning my room and really feeling things.
Speaking of my neighbor, he's a Japanese man, probably in his 50's or 60's here to relax, draw and escape his wife, he LOVES to draw and paint. He really taught me about friendship, this lovely man, who spoke little english, is an alcoholic (he tells me everyday a few times a day he is), but he has the most wonderful heart and shown me what friendship is. It's not about how much you tell someone, it's not about knowledge or how much you anything, it's about sharing. And he was great at this. He was so childlike and loving and exciteable. When he'd get done with a painting he'd run over wanting to show it to me, or get excited when he's ask to draw me or when his camera started working after he dropped it in the river and turned off for a day-his face would light up and become so ecstatic over these wonderfully little things that so many take for granted. We went for a walk one day to draw the rice fields. I had no idea what he was doing was sharing his passion with me, what he loved, taking me to his spot where he loves to draw. It was so touching. Yesterday when we couldn't go any where, we spent time drawing and it was easy to just share some food with him and how he appreciated it. Yet it was funny that I gave him half an avocado (which are huge here) and he poured vodka in it and drank and ate it out of the avocado, as he says, I'm an alcoholic-talk about telling yourself what you are and being it. But he was wonderful, sharing his spirit, his passion with me. It was so sad to see him go, he has no idea how he has touched me and how much he taught me. Life is funny, you think you know a culture of people and then all of a sudden the Universe send you lovely people to contradict our beliefs. This is why it's good to live every moment as it's the beginning, now this moment, this moment, each moment we get to start over and have a new beginning and forgive the past. Let go and stop living from the past and let the present take ahold. It's not always easy but it's what I'm working on.
So I realized the other day that it's as if we were all checked into the same place, all for different reasons. Yet all for the same reasons at the same time. It's like my neighbor, he has his reasons to be here, I have my reasons to be here, but when broken down, it's all the same-love, passion, freedom, creativity, to share, isn't this life? Why are you here in life? Isn't it good to know this? What is your purpose? What is your passion? What is life to you? Why were we put here? Do you know? It blows me away to think of these things. I am loving it! If you don't live your passion, then how can you share it with anyone-this is what I'm finding more and more. And if you aren't sharing it that part of you is dieing, or at least on hold and might as well as be dieing. For me dance is my life, my passion, music, I love to dance, sing and create clothes, even though who knows what I'm going to do with them. Thinking of a whole dance design of clothes, but we'll see. It will take time and money, but it could be a lot of fun to dance in them and see others in them-if I get that far with it. The options are endless. I've thought of making a line of clothing before but it could actually happen here.
I hope you are being creative every day, I wish that for you. May your heart sing everyday. Take a day off to play, really, it does a world of good. At home I'd take a "me" day from time to time, no phones, no one, just me doing exactly what I want. It was marvelous! I recommend that for everyone. Everyday we do for everyone all the time, answer phones, work, think of work. Take a day off of work for a day-stop the mind, especially those self employed and just enjoy the self, yourself, myself. Yes! Create. Create the life you want! I have thought about money so much these past years I'm tired from thinking of it. Money doesn't buy happiness, maybe some freedom to come away like this, but really it's not the money that is buying me this insight and happiness, it's the experience of being here. People could come here and hate it and yes there are things I don't like, but honestly, over all it's brilliant and teaching me everything I need to know about myself in the moment. So live my friend, live outloud so we can all hear you, feel you, see you and share you with others.
I send you hugs and love, Heather
Remember to smile a little more everyday-maybe even at strangers down the street, see how you brighten their day (even if it takes them 10 minutes to realize it, how lovely-you may save a life in the one small gesture of a smile). Or my favorite is to touch someone in a grocery store-I love that one! People are shocked at first but it reminds us we are human. How blissfully lovely!
I love you and thank you, Heather

Photos!!!! Rice Fields and my Batik!

TOUCH, HUGS, CREATIVITY, FUN & MORE!!!!

Hello there,
I know it's been a long time. Much has happened I don't even know how to catch you up. And I'm so curious as to what you've been up to and how you are as well? I really look forward to hearing from you and knowing what is going on in your heart, your life and soul?
So where to begin, my inner journey or outer or the people here. Well I start by telling you about the work out I did this morning. Have you ever worked out so hard that your legs are dripping with sweat, that is what happened this morning. I love that feeling of every single part of you dripping with hard earned sweat of action, blood pumping and your heart feeling alive, worked and ready to keep going. Yet then at one point the energy starts to decrease asking your body to slow down and then the real dripping begins. I love it! Between dance, aerobics and a little weight training with my bands that I brought with me. I can't tell you how happy I am and fulfilled to bring music, this is the first time I've done it and it's amazing! I get to listen to all the music I don't have time to listen to when I am home, have memories flood me as well as listen to my favorites! Music really digs deep into my core, I'm not sure how people live without it. It's as if I'd die if I went without it for too long, that and dance that is. When I'd travel before I had to go to clubs to get music, now it's all there in my little home with a bed, bathroom, end table and ceiling fan, that's it!!!
I have my music, I'm writing a ton, almost have my diary full of ideas, thoughts and feelings. I have started a painting class, which is really a drawing class so far, but it's amazing seeing what these people can do in such a shore period of time. They are truly talented. Yet from what I've learned they really learn by following and so they don't really have a great amount of creativity, it's all copying their family and friends, so they all tend to draw and paint the same things, but they do it with such swiftness and beauty does it matter? Well it would matter to me as I love my creative mind, the mind that is all mine and no one elses, the mind that the is yours and no one elses. It's lovely, it's our passion within, our soul speaking. So once I get those photos uploaded I'll send them to you. I did finish my batik and it's definately colorful, I may redo it just to see if I like it better in other ways but it was certainly fun doing it and it's great just the way it is. I just like working on it and playing with it. I also started one of my clothes designs last night, it should be done tonight! Yes, my first peice that I designed and someone else sewed. Feels a little weird and wonderful all at the same time. To see this woman named, Rye, work is just amazing. She knows with complete confidence how to do things, where to cut, sew and measure, no second thought, just confident in her work, with no pinning, just sewing. I am so impressed and learning a lot.
The people here blow me away, first they can be the most welcoming, gracious, giving, loving, caring people that do offerings to Buddha every day. They hand make these little baskets every day, sometimes 30 or a 100 of them or more a day and set them out in front of there business, which is also their home, in certain areas of their home and businesses, they do it on the side walk, on their cars, burn insence, and this whole glorious ritual that is just amazing to watch, smell and hear, sometimes they do some kind of chanting as well-almost like speaking with the Gods. They do this ritual 3 times a day, they can be completely broke and they'll still go to the market and find a way of buying all the supplies to make offerings as they believe if they don't give a offering to Buddha first then they won't recieve business. They tell us tourists that it is good luck if we buy something from them. It's sometimes hard to say no but then there is only so much you want to buy and so much you want period.
I have another dentist story for you, yes, I met this wonderful man that has never made more than $6000.00 a year in his life, he lives half his life in Hawaii and such a beautiful light. He came all the way here, working extra hours cracking coconuts for $.30 per coconut he cracked so he could come here to Bali and get his teeth done. He only had 3 top teeth when he arrived with a long mustache to hide his mouth. Well within a week he had those teeth removed, root canals and lots of drilling and things done. The next day he took no pain medicine, only 2 pain pills the day of. Then they made a pocket to where his top teeth will snap in and then he was teethful, smiling and he took off his long mustache to show his gorgeous smile to go with his bright blue eyes. He was so happy. For years no brushing, no flossing and now he has gorgeous teeth for only the price of $1800.00 compared to $8000.00 at home. So just in case you want a vacation with great teeth I know the place!
I have made friends with a lovely little kitty at the library where I do my art classes, of course red, sweet, gorgeous and they want me to adopt it. Well I'm not sure but I think it's on it's way to adopting me. But there is no way I'm going to put it on a plane to where ever I'm going so I'll remain to borrow the sweet red thing. Me and red kitties!!!
So this morning I had a great inner time really going in. My thoughts were amazing. Do you ever thing of these things, I think we all do, I think? What do I really believe in? Really believe in. Who am I really, underneith the beautiful exterior the everyone sees, who am I? What makes me tick? Where was it in time that made people stop touching? When did it happen that touch meant more than, I just care for you as my friend? When did parents stop touching their children? When will it be that the abuse stops in the touching? How can we stop these things? How can we stop the hunger of the world? A question I've been pondering since 3rd grade when I dreamt of taking over the NAU dome in Flagstaff and making it a homeless shelter/school for people who needed a hand getting off the streets and building a career to care for themselves. A dream I've had for so long. It drives me crazy there are so many homeless and hungry, there is no reason for it.
Why don't people just drop by any more? I know, I live in LA and some people are a ways away, but how wonderful it was when I was growing up to have a friend just pop by have a laugh, some tea, play a game, take a walk and then go on with our day. Why did the the slumber parties have to stop? I miss those a lot. I used to have really close friends that we'd snuggle and watch movies and take baths and showers together-no I wasn't only 16 years old, I was 27 years old and my best friend and I did these things, it was wonderful to share so clean time together scrubbing each others backs and washing each others hair. It just gets old washing your own hair day in and day out for all of our lives? Does it?
The things I believe in all seem to be around relationships funny enough, but that seems to be my life path I guess. I believe in touch, hugging, great and conscious parenting, conserving nature by using less toilet paper (or none at all), using less paper towels, using cotton pads and not the plastic ones, conserving water,not letting it run when unneeded, re-using paper, and turning off the lights when we don't use them. I am learning more and more to laugh at myself and how to truly just feel and be instead of think my way out of things. And to be lighter inside and out. I can go on and on about that, but I'll stop for now on that. But really think and feel and see what you believe in and who you are, I'd love to know what you feel on it if you care to share. For me I just love to cuddle, give love, learning to receive love, working on how to deal with my inner anger, let it out at times in a healthy way and tell my truth to the world and be powerful and brave with it-it's not always easy but it's getting easier.
So I've found two glorious all organic restaurants in town that have lots of raw foods, so if you are ever worried about not eating here, just to let you know, there is healthy food! Plus an organic farmers market on Wednesdays! The food is good and well priced for organic! This county has great tempe and tofu dishes. I love their tempe, it's quite addictive. If you ever get to an indonesian restaurant order the Gado Gado, yummmmm.
For those of you who have heard of, seen or read about The Secret, well this town has a meeting every Wednesday night as a support group and plays the movie from time to time. It was so wonderful to see 25 people in a circle all there to be reminded or learn about The Secret, the law of attraction. It's opened up some great communications with people, I got to share what I know of the secret first hand in my life with some locals which is great as they don't have this way of thinking yet. It's just nice to get some like minded people around me and feel that energy. It was held in this gorgeous room that I suggested I teach a dance class in and everyone seemed to be happy about that-so I may be doing that soon.
I have a 2 month visa here, it's almost been 3 weeks and I'm far from being done here. I am considering extending my visa a month so I can do this creative work and then travel some to some of the islands-well Lombok and the Gili Islands actually and get to the mountains as well. It will be nice just not to have to be on such a time limit. It really doesn't sit well with my system. Well I found out yesterday there is a live drawing class! Yes, I love drawing people and want to learn more about it. Learning the shadowing and how to make it look real. I'm excited about that, it's twice a week so I'm there!!! So I'll be there tomorrow and next Wednesday! I got a cell phone, yes crazy, I came here to get away from my phone but it is so helpful. For a cell phone thatis 3 band and I can use on my whole trip and be able to use it instead of the phone service or a pay phone is so nice and people can call me. So it's already come in handy with some situations, like my friend Mary coming to see me, we were able to find out where each other was and when. All for $45.00, for all that convenience! It's very simple and I haven't figured out how to set up my voice mail but at least it's there and most people do texting any way as it's cheaper for everyone.
We are still in rainy season, I had no idea as it was gorgeous with rain the first few days, but now you have to love the soggy feeling!!! This is a little blurb out of my diary: Well yesterday was a really good day yet a damp day. It rained almost all day, one of those days that dampened your core, so you feel moist inside and out. Your paper and clothes feel full of ater, waiting to pour out in any minute. The ink won't write on paper, the paper won't recieve the ink. Your clothes feel dank and not there warmig you as the wetness seeps right in under them as they are not there. Your chest feels exposed and vulnerable to the elemetns, as if the air is going right into your skin and cooling and dampening everything within you. Chilling your core.
This morning was sunny but it's about to rain again. The streets really get flooded, and you have to really dodge the the water holes as you don't know if they go through to the drain or only to the side walk. As parts of the side walks are gone, it's funny really how they just have no problem with this, we are so spoiled. There would be a lawsuit in the US for this.
Well I went to the city, yes the capital to go shoppping with a new friend I have found here, well she's gone now, but man oh man. 2 Sagitarious' shopping, we shop the same exact way and shopped for 9 hours, I made sure we got fed when out energy was dropping as we both get cranky, she checked in make sure we were both getting what we needed, I solved the problem of timing so we could both get what we needed. We came away with a peaceful day, lots of material for sewing, a airline ticket for her, cell phone for me and she bought $47.00 worth of beads that would be about $500.00 in the US, that was amazing to me. We got back home tired but went out for a nice meal of pizza-yes pizza, you just have to at times and then gabbing with another friend and passing out. I'd never shopped 9 hours and was happy we got on so well, it was great! So now I have fabric to sew with and put my designs to. Some of the fabric are batik sarongs, one of a kind peices and gorgeous. So I'm excited to have my first peice finished tonight! I am loving being creative and really getting into it. I think of it and drawing and painting all the time now. It's so much fun. It's been so long since I've been this creative! I have a ton of fabric at home and haven't sewed in about 5-7 years on a regular basis. Hopefully this will be a great jump start. I am really getting into relaxing and reading for a half day and doing nothing but being with myself. No television, no million phone calls to make, just being, relaxing, writing and feeling. It's quite amazing how much a body needs to unwind from 5 1/2 years of only thinking of work and how to make money, even in my off time.
I had my first motor bike experience, going to a crazy market where you walk in and they see you as a walking wallet and almost fight over who is going to show you what and who will you buy from. 5 minutes in there and I was gone. They don't get that some of us can't shop that way, I need to just look and have it be peaceful. But I did find some great statues made of wood that may have to become mine before I leave. I love their carvings here. It is really slow here for the locals and I can see their faces being in such desperation as they made these gorgeous buildings and then the tourist stop coming after the bombs. The motor bike ride was great, to see the rice fields and see everything right there, going through tiny streets, dodging cars, bikes, trucks and they have no problem driving into on coming traffic as they know that they will scoot over, no horns just "oh, I need to move over". It's truly mind blowing there aren't more accidents but they work as a team, unity and as one community of people. I wonder how it was even more when there weren't any tourists as now I see them walk down the street and they talk with all the locals, it's as if they all know each other, but you know they don't as even if you go outside of their area they still talk to everyone there, how lovely. Wouldn't it be great if LA and the US started doing that, or all big cities, what a wonderful way to live. Oh, you are a human, let's talk to you. Reminds me of Leo Buscaglia-if you ever get the chance to read his book living, loving and learning, it's so heart felt and lovely. I've listened to him on tape, thanks to Anne!!!, and I am reading his book right now. He says so many things that I have felt and believed in since I can remember, it's just so nice to have some one else say it back to me. He is all heart and soul. And so impassioned about life.
I am considering joining the gym here, it's only 100,000 a month-that is about $11.00. Seems like a lot with those numbers though. We'll see. I like my workouts at home. But then I've started to train the guy that runs my guesthouse, it's fun. I get to use my personal training skills to help him get in shape!!! How fun! Maybe I can do that at the gym as well, I am open to everything at this point. I'm considering putting up a flier for doing haircuts as well, I love this!
I took some great photos of myself this morning, pretty funny, as I was all dripping wet and all of a sudden I stopped and had to take a photo and realized these are great photos to learn to draw from. So who knows I'll get some developed and see if I can draw them. It's all so much fun. I am really melting into fun here and exploring. There are some hard days as I do spend many days just doing my own thing and most days I am loving it but sometimes I long to just be with the ones that know me and cuddle up and feel completely loved and safe in their arms. But mostly I am doing really great!
So I have written a book here and who knows if you'll make it through to here. But I thank you for reading if you did make it through. I send you love and would love to hear from you, your heart, about your goals and dreams and anything else you care to share with me. I love you, Heather
BIG HUGS TO YOU!!!!!

Ubud, Found a Nest, Melting In!!!

Hello there,
How are you? I have a ton to say and have no idea where to start! Do I start with Malaysia or last night in the storm? Malaysia was wonderful, it felt like a little part of home for me in the way that it's so Indian and the Indian culture and food is something I really connect with. The mountains were just splendid, hiking for 6 hours through the jungle, trying to find the trail from time to time, hoping no bug comes up and bites me when I am far from anything, running into my friends-the family I told you about in Penang-on the same hiking trail, going the opposite direction them me. Who would have thought that we would have found each other there. We all hung out for a few nights, it was so lovely, they are filled with fun, light, laughter and love, it was brilliant to be around! As for the hike the secades (sp?) got so loud and there were so many, the sounds were just brilliant for my ears, I was bummed I didn't have my recorder with me that day. I was sad to leave the nice cool mountains and the friends I had gained while being there, but that is the way of the traveler, on to the next place until you decide to stop and then part of you wonders if you should be going or not-why is it us humans are so complicated that way, always wondering about the things we aren't doing??? Great question and a million of answers to it. Maybe just never satisfied, always wanting more or who knows. But moment we are satisfied is the moment we wonder something else, like should we be? Pretty funny eh?
Well I flew down to Bali on the 25th, flight was great, the airport was wild!!! Firstly my international roundtrip ticket was only $169.00 from KL to Bali- you won't get that any where in the US!!! I love the new airlines online, they are great! I got dropped at the airport and the first thing I looked up to see was something I had no idea they had in Malaysia-a Coffee Bean. Now, this isn't any big deal on one hand but my best girl friend, Mal, and I used to go there all the time and have the most delicious Hot Cocoa and talk for hours and well, after I went through security, got my bag checked, I came back out and went to order my hot cocoa. Mind you my breakfast that morning was 1.4RM and it's 3.5RM to the dollar so less then $.50. My hot cocoa, which a large is the size of our mediums in the US was 10.50RM, that is more than any meal I paid for in Malaysia, but I just had to. Sitting there, feeling quite adult-like, splurging on a little piece of home, thinking of Mal and watching the world go by as they played my favorite music-Usher, Alicia Keys and more!!! I was calm, at home, feeling warm, not needing for company, feeling complete, happy and alive. I ate my breakfast and decided to head for the international terminal. Now mind you, to see this international airport really, it probably is the size of one of our terminals, but it's the largest airport in Malaysia. I found my way to the international airport and there were 7 signs with doors glass doors underneith them-t1-t7. About 200-300 seats and a coffee shop and 2 or so duty free shops, that's it, and it was freezing. This country loves their A/C. The warmest spot I found was in the bathroom, which is where I decided to spend a good 20-30 minutes, brushing my teeth, flossing my teeth-yes in public, is a lovely new thing I love to do, and of course doing what you are to do in a toilet!!! ; )I had defrosted by then and came out in time to board. No seating assignment, you pay for anything you drink or eat, no movie, no worries!!! Coming in for landing is gorgeous seeing all the black beaches, the green lushness of the palm trees, the blue of the water and the sky gorgeous, then the plane turns and you see white sand beaches and red roofed houses, more and more large hotels and lots of people-it's Florida and then we gently land and get off the plane with no worries-greatest landing by the way, very soft.
The guy who stamped my passport decided that he should tell me that if I want an extension for my 2 month visa I could call him and he'll renew for one month for 1.5 million RPs, that's about $168.00ish, I think. Yes, they have lots of 000's on their money here. Well I asked him if it was legal and he said yes, as he told me not to put the number near my passport. Nope, I'm sorry, not legal, and I can fly legally to KL and back for that and not worry about being jailed, last thing I need!
Well, I got directly up to Ubud,the drive was beautiful between all the shopping areas, green and stunning. Yet I was shocked getting into Ubud to see so many vendors, so many taxi's so many people trying to get people into their taxi, shop, etc. I got to my guest house and it was beautiful, king size bed, with canopy and white, well off white mosquito nets pulled back at the corners-always wanted that, wooden dresser with mirror, a large bathroom with a tub that was taped on the bottom as it had a huge crack in it. But it was perfect for what I needed. The bamboo ceilings and porch with a table and chairs on it. Brilliant.
This is where every changes. My outwardness stopped, I went in, and went in I did. I basically went into my cave, my womb for at least half of the next 4 days. I knew Bali was a healing place for me, I had no idea how it was going to effect me. On the half days that I did come out, I went for walks, which were stunning, breath taking at times. The rice fields all around me, the blue skies, everything peaceful. I was in love in these moments, then the dogs would come and start barking, showing their teeth and my fantasy was gone-as I smile back now, laughing to myself, I had about 7, ratty, half haired, half bald, partially vicious dogs surrounding me when this little old lady came out and shewed them away for a second. Just long enough for me to start walking back to town realizing I wasn't going to come back through that again, I may not get another "savior". The dogs kept on my heals and then they left. Dogs here just love to hear themselves bark. It's amazing really how they can bark just to bark-pretty funny except when you want to sleep! ; )
Well my guest house was beautiful but have you ever lived with a family of about 8 adults and 10 children that get up around 5:30-6am every morning-babies crying, people talking, moving furniture and then the roosters going off? Well this is what it was like, and after 4 days of that I found my home, my nest. Hot and cold water, a yummy tub, a queen size bed, great neighbors and quiet, quiet, quiet.
Yesterday I spend the day batiking-you make a design and then you wax it and dye it and then it makes a brilliant colored shirt, pillow case what ever. I love doing this, so creative and so calming. Well I fell in love with it again yesterday. I start waxing today. I spend the day there and then off I went home to rest. Wow, I laid down and realized something was missing- no children!!! It was so quiet, only the loveliness of silence and the rain dripping off the roof outside and on the plastic roof in the bathroom. I napped for a while and then got up for a shower and realized-I CAN TAKE A BATH!!! This made me so happy!
I filled up the bath tub, poured myself in and I had a light show of lightning I could see through the ceiling, the thunder as sound and the rain pounding away on the roof. I laid there forever just feeling "this is what bali is about, this is heaven-laying in a tub, taking all the sounds of a storm in and relaxing in a warm tub". I'm sure it can get better than this but honestly I can see how. I was in love in that moment.
So Bali is growing on me, the outsides of town I'm falling deeper in love with, I'm working through missing my friends and being homesick from time to time and loving getting my creative work going with Batiking.
The people here are just so kind and lovely if you talk to them outside the shops and taxi's. They are really heartful, peaceful people. It's sad to see that they have had little business since the bombing a year ago October. Plus Java has had many problems in the past months, so tourism is low and that is why they want our business so much. They are used to a plentiful abundance of tourists and now most are gone. So it makes me feel compassion to where they are at and feel for them when I see restaurant empty. So if you want a place to holiday this is the time to come and they'd love to have you here, well so would I actually too.
Oh, I just finished a most brilliant book that you must read-THANK YOU EDGAR- it is an enlightening, lovely, heart string pulling, testing your beliefs on how people can be and how positive one lovely soul can be and what one could do for love-Star Girl, it is just a delight and there are times you won't be able to put it down. I laughed, I cried and I fell in love, and I didn't want it to end. I will cherish this book for a long time, it's so touching and I will read it again. Thanks for sharing this with me Edgar, I loved it!
Ok, that is enough for now. I love you all, I miss you and will talk soon and hopefully send photos too. Love and bliss, Heather

Georgetown, Malaysia-Little India-feels like home!

Hello there,
How are you? Well I have spent the last 4 days here in Georgetown, it's amazing when you are in a place you are "supposed" to be all the angst of the other places all come clear. I really get I wasn't supposed to be in Thailand, I just couldn't fully relax. I got here on the Chinese New Year, having no idea that everything shuts down for 3 full days and that I wanted to leave on the 22nd for Bali, but because of the holiday everything was full. So luckily I found a flight on the 25th-the number 25 keeps following me around-I was born on that day, I flew on the day and some rooms I've stayed in and a number of other things, love that number.
So I got here and wondered why the Universe wasn't letting me leave and I realized it's because I LOVE this place! I love the Indian culture, going to the little street stalls where only the Indians and Chinese eat and sit down with them to have a lovely Chai, Roti with Dal, eating it with my right hand only-no left hand help in tearing the roti as the left hand is used to wash when you go to the toilet! They are surprised to see me eat like them, I love it and then they start chatting with me and telling me I look like a local. It's fun. The people here are amazingly friendly, authentic, pretty happy people, they hang out with the people they work with before and after work. They love their people. The Chinese, Indian and Muslims get along great together, they don't let it bother them. Though some laws pertain only to some religions, pretty interesting. The Muslims are 70% of the country, Chinese 23% and the Muslims run the govenment here. It's pretty amazing how everyone just gets along here.
I walk down little India and breathe it in with the incense, the ceramony they do when they open their shops of ringing bells, chanting, bowing, incensing the whole shop and saying prayers, it feels like home to me. Today I was walking down the street realizing I was leaving and I tears started to come-it just feels so comfortable here. I hated to leave India when I had to leave there as well. But I will be leaving today for the mountains of Cameron Highlands to cool off, to hike, to be in nature. It's hot here, well, less hot then Thailand but still you drip from every where within no time of being outside. Yet outside there is at least a breeze and so sometimes is cooler. Fans are pretty much every where.
Chinese New Year was full of Chinese being with their family, going to parks, watching the dragons dancing up and down the streets with drumming, incense so huge-about 6 or more inches around burning on the street, candles and altars burning on the side of buildings. Everyone relaxing.
After checking into one place (Olive Spring Guesthouse), which I think Anne and I stayed last time, not sure though, I found The Blue Diamond, which I know we stayed in for a time last time as well. Sitting there at the Blue Diamond I got to know a great English Family, they have two kids of 10 and 14 years of age, they are traveling for a year. They were great fun. We sat there talking and laughing, watching the street rats come and go through out the restaurant, minding their own business. The roosters would come in and hang out, be petted and will fall asleep on your lap if you let them. They'll even stand on your head if you put them there-this is one thing that Sophie, the little girl loved to do-play with the Roosters. They were great to hang out with for a few days and I gave Tobi, the wife a haircut!!! I love that.
The side walks here are funny, they go right through the restaurants sometimes and if not they have concrete slabs that sometimes are broken and you can fall right through. I don't think they believe in sueing thank goodness. The drivers here are much nicer then in Thailand, they aren't nearly as crazy and they acknowledge you are there and sometimes apologize when they almost hit you. It's sweet really! In Thailand they just would cut you off and not look at you. Thailand used to be much more friendly but honestly I only see them as wanting to make money off of us now. We tourists, farong as they call us, are little dollar signs, so sad as they didn't used to be that way.
My breakfast in my little Indian place is 2RM, which here the money is Ringget and it's 3.5 to the dollar, so it's less than a dollar for a lovely meal. Most meals are less than two dollars, depending on where you are. My room for a private room is $4.00 and if I wanted to have a dorm it would be $2.00. But there is something to having your own room. I used to be the MAJOR budget person but honestly I just like my space and prefer it. Yet when I go to the hills I'll get a dorm room as it's more expensive there and more social to do that. I've had a great time here alone and with people.
It was sad the other day to watch this Indian woman follow her husband around, if he stood up, she did too, if he washed his right hand, so did she, I'm not sure if she ate with him, it seems like he must have but when I looked afterward I only saw one plate. She looked so sad, so beaten down, over weight with protection and so small, slumped over and he looked confident and in power. I wanted to take her in and teach her a thing or two, but that would just really screw up their culture-but not all Indian women are like this, only some over here are. In India the women let the men look powerful but the women run everything. I'm not sure about here.
I met these three men that are businessmen that fly to Bangladesh just to find workers for cheap to work for them and it works for them. It sounds like America with the Hispanic population.
I don't have the photos up yet but I took photos of some of the things they spell funny, on actual signs and billboards, like car-kah, I'm not sure if they misspell police or if it's really this way to them but it's polis to them, and a number of other things.
The drivers in Thailand were amazing how they didn't all hit each other and drove within inches of each other, they'd swerve out in the other lane, the on coming traffic would just move over to let them be there, no honking needed or anger, they move to the inside to take the front before a car, all so close to each other, it's shocking how they do it without accidents, well not as much as us anyway. I saw one accident but it was only 1 or 2 cars involved. And there was no traffic watchers for 2 hours watching, they just moved on from it.
Oh, KFC is here and I saw the other day where they were advertising a sign of fresh herbs on the sign, as if it's healthy or something. The locals think the tourist want to eat there, I tell them how unhealthy it is but they don't seem to understand that. Advertising is very drawing and tells much that isn't true.
So I can go on and on really, but this is probably enough. I am loving Malaysia, I'm happy I'm here, I love the people, it's cooler than Thailand, though still very sticky and drippy. I have gotten my travel legs!!!! I'm off to the mountains this afternoon and will be getting in at 9pm, the guesthouses there are nice enough to come pick you up so you aren't wandering around lost. I'm excited to go hiking and be in nature. I'm bummed I haven't got a chance to record any of the sounds of the insects, it's hard in cities as it's so loud with traffic. The roosters are amazing to wake to and the birds squawk so loud in places, it's beautiful. Really amazing. I'm hoping to do some sound recording soon.
I send you all love, I hope you are well. Please email me at gypsysundancer@yahoo.com.
Big hugs and kisses, Heather
Let your heart shine from the inside out and everything you want will follow and attract to you!

Emerging, Krabi, Dance & Chinese New Year!

Hello there,

I am so happy to be writing you, I seem to have a lot to say. I hope you are well and happy and your heart is singing to it's contentment.

I wrote this yesterday and would love to share it with you!

I woke up this morning to the sounds of birds and hollaring monkeys, the waves splashing against the shore and boats roaring against the water. I opened my window of my bamboo hut to a gorgeous day, fresh air, before all the pollution of the longtail boats and their noise. I pulled back my mosquito net to take in the view of the trees, the sky and the huts around me.

Getting up and walking to the beach 1 minute away the smell of steamed rice filled the air and my took it in, loving the scent. Knowing this is an every day staple in Thailand. I walked out to the beach, breathed in the clean morning air, hearing the calls of "Ao Nang", which is where the boats go to, to get to Krabi. I stretched there on the beach. Still in the shade at 7am, with the cliffs over hanging, the trees surrounding them and the beach and the water accenting everything. It was a stunning morning for a run. I ran the beach 2 times, I felt great! I got my camera for the cool down walk, took some shots and asked myself "why am I leaving today"? Well sometimes it's just time. Here there are really great people-mostly tourists, no culture as there were no locals here before the tourists came really, it's expensive because of that and if yu don't rock climb there is little to do except hike and I did most of the hikes the past 4 1/2 days and don't rock climb. I'm sad to go as I know March 1st they ar tearing down half of all the quaint bungalows, restaurants and cafes to put up a resort and this place will never be the same again. I will never come back as that doesn't appeal to me. Krabi area is the biggest place in SE Asia, at least Thailand, for rock climbing and it's gorgeous here. Stunning! Photos would never capture this place, but I'm trying.

So there are people going on the longtail boats going every where around, kayaking, which I wish I did but I need a partner for that, maybe in Bali. Most everyone here is traveling with someone but they are very friendly. I really get that as beautiful as this place is I miss the culture, the small food stalls and scents that non tourist places have. This place is only 5-8 years old. I have read here, wrote, worked out, played games with some girls that chased me down on the beach from the retreat-they were great! I went for a fabulous Thai massage from a woman named Tu. She was lovely, gentle natured and caring, yet very strong. Get this, the price even here where it's a little more then the mainland is only 200bt-35bt to the dollar! Tu cracked me real good and put me back in place and relaxed me so I could go for a swim afterward and melt in. She was sweet, she'd sing "lay down" "turn over", "sit up", it would start high and then go down in notes. I walked over the hill for my swim-this is the place that gets real muggy as the air doesn't quite get in but the head does so you feel like you are in a sauna, sweat dripping down your nose, in between your breasts and well every where-even off your elbows. My swim was lovely in the luke warm water. I came back via the rocks on the ocean, these things are trecherous (sp?), I mean so sharp they could stab you dead in a moment. What this water has done to them who knows. But being careful is a must.

So my last day there was beautiful, very relaxing and made me not want to leave after a wonderful dinner with friends. In fact the next day I didn't leave until 1:30pm as I wasn't ready. But I'm in Krabi now, yes that is a city not a mood. Krabi is a small town that tourist tend to just go through but it has lots of shopping for the tourist that does stop.

I have to tell you about a lovely dish here, it's called mango sticky rice. Yes, it's so divine. It is sticky rice with mango on top with delicious coconut with sweet milk and salt dripped over it. It melts in your mouth with each bite and you never tire of it.

So I was checked in to my hotel by a woman named Pa-she is a doll, so lovely. She alone makes me want to stay here but I'll leave tomorrow. I woke up this morning to birds singing and buses going by. But the best thing is that I have a big room and I put on my music and danced for a full hour to Zero, Lisa Gerard, Brian Eno, some country and a few others-my Ipod was on random. It was great to dance full out for an hour-first time in 3 weeks. I went to the night market last night to full bodied chickens cooked and being sold, parts of pigs being sold, fish of all kinds with the heads still on. All kinds of things were there along with veggies and fruit. It's the first time I saw raw veggies in Thailand. I got a great Pad Thai with lots of veggies and chicken for 25bt last night-it was the best Pad Thai yet and less than a dollar! It felt healthy!!! This morning the over breakfast of raw fruits, veggies, musli, nuts and milk and eggs and juice the fire crackers were going crazy. They are starting to celebrate the Chinese New Year, though it's not their New Year for 2 more months, but Thai's will take any reason to party, have fun and laugh. Some can be serious and ignore the tourist and only be about money but underneath it, they are lovely people.

So I'm going to look into a photo album thing online so I can upload my photos there, but it will have to wait probably until I'm in Bali-if you know of anything that is easy let me know.

I'm doing good. Everything seems loud since the retreat though. My heart is good, I feel the Universe taking care of me. Everytime I start to get lonely or low it brings some lovely person in my life or a great lesson. I get lots of time to watch myself, my mind and have been meditating more now and of course flossing!!!! ; ) I read my calender for the month every day and it says "Where ever you should go, go with all your heart" by Confusious. I think this calender was made specifically for me. I really want to get to Bali but I'm enjoying the journey down. I am getting really great info from the people around. I may take a 4 day boat down to Bali from Malaysia or just go by boat to Medan and fly from there-either way it will be good. I'm excited to be taking everything one day at a time, still unwinding and getting out of the "doing mode".

I think of you all so much and hope that you are doing well. I miss you and look forward to seeing you, when ever that maybe. I dream of dancing every day, teaching, playing with friends and about what this trip is to bring me.

I'm sure there is a million things I can still say. But I'll stop at this. I am off to Malaysia tomorrow, excited about Georgetown as it has great Indian food. Today I'm off to wander the town and just be. Have some more great food and see what the Chinese New Year brings. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! So good bye to the year of the dog and tomorrow (for me) is hello to the year of the pig. Go to www.proastro.com and put your date of birth in, it's great. Mine is 11/25/1969, see what it has to say. It's great fun! If you are a rooster I hope to see you over here.

I send you all love, I miss you and send you hugs. Love and blessings, Heather

ps. I've been making friends with the local bugs too-a praying mantice (sp?) wouldn't get off me, he stayed on me for about an hour until I finally had to remove him. He was just a baby and really cute.

Out of Silence & Excited, Thrilled, Exhilerated, Partially Unwound....

Calmer, More ready to travel now.... Should I go on? This going to be a long one so get ready!!! How are you? I am excited to hear from you and check my emails.
Let me see, where to start really. This was by far the easiest and hardest silent retreat I have been on yet. Easy as I knew what to expect and knew how my mind was going to go a little stir crazy, etc. But the most difficult as of all that happened within the retreat. Let me start by saying we get up at 4am, start meditating at 4:15am, have 2 meals in the day time and tea in the evening and ending the day at 9pm on a concrete bed, a wicker mat and a wooden pillow (which by the way I did not use-I used Rob's Sweater he gave me for the plane ride which was perfect for a pillow-thanks!). Amazingly enough I slept great. When you only meditate you really don't need that much sleep and I was used to getting up at 5:30am and going to bed at 10:30pm or 12am at home as for getting ready for this trip.
So the first day was great, I was relieved, things had changed a lot there-a new Sala (a structure with no walls only a ceiling and poles to hold it up, sitting in sand with 150 people around you, about a dozen new western toilets and a whole lot of newness-so worked on detachment of the old with the grounds. So my experience, the second day I was edgy and not so good. Third day I started that lovely time of the month that is a time for looking inward and being slow and caring for the body. Well this month it decided to make me sick-I won't go into detail, but it was good for trying to keep on mind on the breath-Breathe in breath out, focus on the breath. I had a break through that day and got calm and really saw my mind and really erased it. It gave me hope that it might stay there-So I wish! Well that didn't last long. Then day 5 was here and since I'd calmed some and started to unwind and really my mind and all it was up to and slowing down it decided to test me. Yes the mind is a silly place-as someone told me once -The mind is a scary place, don't go in there alone! Well I did alright. That day I had this absolutely gorgeous, of course, RED bug with black dots on it with about 20-40 legs on each side and pinches on, about 1 1/2 inches long bite me. Well you can't kill anything, not that I would anyway. But I chased it off my let in silence, over off my mat trying not to disturb anyone meditating. Well the poison it injected made a rash on my leg and I could feel the poison going up my leg and into my inner thigh area-well I didn't like this. I got up and went to the Buddhist nun and she said "I'll get balm" funny enough it is Tiger balm and the Thai people this cures anything. Well it did, withing 10-20 minutes the rash was gone and I felt better. It works on mosquito bites too!
Day 6 another test. After breakfast of rice soup I put my tongue behind my front left tooth to find a crack or a hole. Well this is disturbing-all kinds of things go through you mind-"I'm in a foreign country, they may pull out my tooth or put mercury in it or chip out half of it or I may need a........and it goes on. Well I decided to try to meditate on it and not go to the dentist. This is challenging but it worked after a few hours. I let it be though.
Have you ever seen someone and instantly felt a connection. As if you needed or already new this person before. With never speaking, only a few glances this woman felt like my sister, someone I wanted to know and connected with on some soulful level. We would pass each other, she'd come sit next to me during tea and then meals and then during the hot springs. Well I grew quite attached to her being there. So since Buddhism is about non attachment it decided to take her away from the retreat. I thought on day 6 to give her my information but thought-I'll see her on day 11, don't break any rules, silence or anything or disrupt anything. Well on day 7 she was gone. I knew it, I could feel she was gone. I went to see the chore sign up list where her name was and it was scratched off. My lesson on this didn't come until later. I was sad, I misseed someone I didn't even know. But it was good. As day 8 I struggled againsted the tooth, the wanting this woman I didn't know to come back, I wanted to leave, but I wanted to focus. I went to talk to the head woman, Ben, to see about a dentist. I decided I'd go on day 10 as she could go with me to the hospital-yes that is where they do dentistry. I thought about going on day 9 as there was only one meal at 8:30am and only tea twice after that, no instruction, just breathe in and out, all on our own. Well I realized I needed a day of freedom of words. As all the structure and words were too much for me. You see, the other 2 retreats I did here I never stayed with the group for more than half a day. I meditated a lot by myself. The good thing was I got to know myself more that way, but the time creeped by. At least being with everyone else the day went by faster. So day 9 was GREAT! I needed the solitude of my own practice. I was in heaven. My mind cleared, my heart calmed, I knew I'd made the right choice to go to the dentest the next day AND I was glad that woman had left for the reason of distraction. Everytime she was around I would be distracted and not inward. We'd end up watching the other ones feet or making eye contact or what ever-who knows what was going through her mind. Maybe it was all a story for all I know. I just know my side of it. So I could calm knowing I was there alone and only me to be with. I was grateful to be in silence with me, walk around the pond in meditation. Sit in my favorite Sala, drink tea and not get hungry.
Day 10 was hard. I got up, did my own yoga (others did it with the teacher, I liked doing my own on this retreat-too many words again) I met up with Ben and she and I walked to the road and wen to the Hospital in Surat Thani-an hour away. It was clean and peaceful, no shoes. I went in to the doctor at 9:40am, I told him I was nervous and he said "yes, that's normal". He looked and sure enough I had not only one cavity on that front tooth, but 2. YIKES. Well he did a magnificent (sp?) job filling both of them, very smooth, no pain, even pain killer, all in 35 minutes for, get this, $21.00. Yes that is right, for one or two fillings it was the same price. And a crown-if you ever need on is 6000 bt which is about $180.00, yes that is right, you can fly here, get your crown and a vacation for about the same price as getting one in the US. Something to think about next time you need dentistry. But make sure it's in a private hospital in a small town. I was relieved and back at the monastary within a few hours and very ready for a meal, since I hadn't eaten since the day before at 8:30am. So I ate at 12:30am and I was happy. Well, my mind wasn't calm but man I was happy to know it was almost over. I couldn't really meditate after that. I was thrilled to know my tooth was ok, I was almost out and ready to just travel.
The retreat really showed me how I changed-5 1/2 years ago I didn't have that much of an opinion. Well I do now, I realized that I went from wanting to be a nun 5 years ago in Dharmasala, India to realized that if Tibetan Buddhism believed the same way that there is no way I would be able to be a nun now. They believe that sex is only for having children-no pleasure, to not have any desire or do anything that caused desire, you can't look at the sunset and get pleasure from it, you need to be void of all feelings of it-well if that is what it is but become a nun, I'm done with that for who I am now. Being that I teach sacred sexuality and believe in have fabulous sex, loving sunsets, Dancing until my hearts desire, listening to music and singing to my hearts content-I could never be a nun.
If you want to know who you are? How you believe? What you think about? What you want in life? This is the place to be. There is no escaping yourself. I really get who I am-first I am a DANCER, I want to perform, I want to teach, it's what I fantsize most about. I am a teacher next for couples-better communication and sacred relationships. I get there are so many things I want to make, to share, to give to this world and to everyone. I still want to travel, but I want to do my work as I travel. I'd love to teach movement workshops with a yoga teacher (like you Mal!!!)! I'd love to teach more relationship workshops. It's very exciting to me! There are so many designs of clothes, of meditations I want to create on CD, DVD. Well the list goes on. The one thing that really hit me is having really great female friends-I miss having just one or two really close female friends, I have kept women at bay until the past year as my last best friend had a painful ending and I started healing this in the past year. And now it's time to let women in, to let women be close to me again. Who knows if you want to hear all of this. But I am setting my intention and voicing it seems like the right way to do it. I just love having someone to do girl things with-shop, have tea, giggle, play, watch movies, do creative things with, so there you go.
There was a lot of healing around relationships, it was really profound. And unwinding from the past 4-6 weeks is still happening but it's better now.
It was a great experience and I may write more about it. But I feel this is a long enough book as it is. If you ever want to do anything like this I'd say yes, do it. It's the most healing thing. Even if Buddhism isn't your thing, their ways, their customs, the way they are is just beautiful. The meditation heals and you know more of who you are. Get ready world as I am ready to boogie, as soon as I am on a beach I am going to turn up my music from my ipod and baby speakers and dance around as much as I can. I'd do it now but I'm still staying in the monastary and it's not allowed.
It is so beautiful here, trees, green, hills, ponds, lots of places to sit and meditate, many places to do walking meditation and I found joy in standing meditation-that was a first. I liked it and sitting the best this time. We'll see if I come back. It's hard to say as I'm so full right now.
I miss you all, I would love to hear from you all. I know this is a bulk email to everyone but it doesn't mean it's impersonal, it just means to write this a million times would be difficult. I miss hearing from each one of you and love you all so much. I thank you for holding a safe place for my heart to open. I know this is long, but I hope you enjoyed it. I so look forward to hearing from you. Ok, I'm off to check my emails and hope to hear from you. I send you love my sweets. Love, Heather